Charlie Sheen is the New Alec Baldwin

I love when people are in such a fit of rage that they say horrific things. Maybe it’s because I have a sick sense of humor. Maybe it’s because I’m dead inside. Maybe it’s because I have a rule that 98% of people are crazy. No really, they are. Anyway, Charlie Sheen may be giving Alec Baldwin a run for his money. Remember when Alec left his 11-year old daughter a voicemail saying she was a rude little pig? Ah, those were simpler times. Now, according to the NY Post, Charlie Sheen has said the following “gems” to Denise Richards. Buckle up.

  • “You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself sad jobless pig”
  • “You are an evil piece of [bleep]. I can’t wait to tell the world what a piece of [bleep] you are. You don’t get a [bleeping] dime till this is resolved”

I love the whole “you are a pig” method of insults. I’m going to start using that phrase in my daily life starting today. You know who else is a “sad, jobless pig?” Miss Piggy, literally. Anyway, Charlie could have incorporated some other insults in there too though. Next time he should feel free to incorporate some of the following:

  • “Your mother’s a whore and your father holds the money”
  • “Even though they’re my kids too, the ugly ones look like you”
  • “Having sex with you is like having sex with your mother, oh wait I did have sex with your mother. P.S Your mother’s a whore”

Feel free to mix and match.

Charlie Sheen is the New Alec Baldwin

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