Ugh. Looks like the producers/creators of Whitney’s new Hills spinoff, “The City” are already giving up. You know how on The Hills now they don’t even bother shooting scenes of Heidi in her “actual” office because they know we don’t believe she works there? They just have her sit in the lobby and they’re like “Fine. Cut. That’s a wrap everybody.” Well I feel like they must already be doing this with Whitney. Did they just photoshop her into this New York scene? I mean, I only ask this because Whitney’s feet are not even on the ground and, let’s face it, the concept of Whitney knowing how to talk on her cell phone and jump AND film a scene at the same time isn’t too probable.

I may talk a big game, but regardless I’ll be watching this show with the same intensity that I watch drunken homeless people try to readjust their tinfoil hats.

What a real craptastic treat it will be for me to be able to to recap 2 horrific shows on a weekly basis. As if my social life couldn’t be more in the can we add this to my white-trash plate of crap to do. Oh well. I’ll do it for my country and I’ll do it for Whitney.

Here’s a little about the show according to Us Weekly who seems to blow anything “Hills” related every chance they get.

According to the release, Port, now a Diane Von Furstenberg employee, reunites with “a best friend from her past” and meets “a guy she’s head-over-heels for.”

“Surrounded by all new friends, pursuing a fresh love life and starting to work in the upper echelon of the fashion industry is a lot to navigate for a new girl in the big city… especially one who has everything to lose,” the release reads. “In a city full of people with their own agendas, Whitney will have to quickly decide who she can trust and who to stay away from.”

I’m not going to lie, I may tune in simply for the fact that I am anxious to actually hear Whitney try to pronounce, “Von Furstenberg.” Who else thinks she’ll be calling her, “Van FurtenberK?”

Lauren is said to be happy for Whitney because she’s such a “likable person.” That is true. Whitney doesn’t drizzle douche when she’s on The Hills, so I don’t know how much drama there will be besides the dead-on assault Whitney will lead against the English language. It’ll be worse than me trying to spell on this here blog. Cripes! Good luck to the both of us.

Whitney, I’ll be looking for you every day now that you’re in NYC. If you feel someone tackle you with a laptop, camera, and cell phone….don’t try to fight it. It’s just me.

This will be interestinK and as I saiT before, Whitney is a real prize who should do well on her own. I lie.

www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack

I can’t believe this might actually be happeninK! Everyone’s favorite advice giver on The Hills, Whitney, may in fact be gettinK her own “Hills” spinoff. Santa Claus, you really are a miracle maker. You too, Jesus!

A source (probably MTV) has got in touch with Us Weekly, the magazine who blows The Hills on a weekly basis, that they are working on a Hills spinoff in which Whitney works in both LA and NYC for that fashion PR sweatshop “People’s Revolution” with Wednesday Adams, more formally known as Kelly CUNTone.

Supposedly, while good old Whit is in NYC she becomes friends with a bunch of douchey socialites, including Olivia Palermo, whoever the hell that is. I assume she’s the lady who played the grandmother in Family Matters.

Anywhit, I’m f’n psyched if this crap comes true and I will bump those two Olsen Sluts to the bottom of my stalking list and place Whitney all that way at the top. I am willing to be Whitney’s love interest, the guy who teaches her to stop replacing her “G’s” with “K’s” or I’ll even play the dude who serves some jail time for kidnapping her and forcing her to give up all her Hills secrets. I won’t be “playing” that part as much as I’ll be “living” that part. Either way I’m making it into Us Weekly.

I’m hoping this new series will be called “Spaz and the City.”

Source It Up!

The Hampton’s just got a little more exciting, thanks to Whitney Port. Did that sound fake? Anyway, everyones favorite Hills character has made it onto the cover of Social Life and was in the Hampton’s to celebrate. Now these photos aren’t as exciting as the other day when Whitney’s boob popped out of her dress while eating at The Ivy, but they’re still decent.

Anyway, Whitney is indirectly laying the smackdown on Lauren, Heidi, and Audrina when she was talking with Social Life. When asked about letting her complete personal life airing on The Hills, here’s what good old Whit had to say:

“I’ve seen what it does. It’s ruined a lot of relationships and friendships. That’s why I don’t expose people that I am close to that. My friends and family mean too much to me to get them involved. I told producers on the show that I want them to focus on my career. I tried going on a date once on the show, and it was the most uncomfortable two hours of my life.”

Yeah, well it was uncomfortable for us to watch too, Whitney.

Ugh, anyway why do all these people always ask the same old questions!?! I would have been like: “So Whitney, did Lisa Loveless ever try to touch you inappropriately over your sweater or south of the border?” Or I would have held up Flash Cards with words ending with “G” and asked Whitney to read them. From that I could ask her why she always pronounces it with a “K.” RunninK, SwimminK, JumpinK. You either get a funny answer from Whitney or you get punched in the face. Either way, it makes for a good story. Just saying.