More Mindless Stories on ‘whitney port’

I Always Knew Whitney Port Was a Nazi

After working for Lisa Loveless and Blessed Mother Kelly Cutrone, it was only a matter of time before Whitney turned into a full fledged Nazi.  Hey oh!  Sadly, this is the most interesting thing I can say about Whitney.  What am I thinkinK?

Whitney Port, sporting some aqua blue spandex, hailed a cab in chilly NYC yesterday.  Yup, she was.  Whitney is in New York City to film scenes for upcoming crapisode of “The City” before she leaves again for LA.  At last stalking, the scenes she filmed were in Greenwich Village in the snow.  So, apparently we’ll be looking for an episode where Whitney is put into a full body cast after trying to walk on snow.

I’m pissed off that I never see Whitney anywhere in the city….and I look….all the time.  Sometimes as I’m walking I just yell, “Whitney?!! F’n answer me! Now!”  Surprisingly that really clears out the crosswalk.

It’s Just Like an Episode of “The City.” Olivia Palermo and Whitney Port Don’t Talk to Each Other.

Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo were both subconsciously listening to Kelly Cutrone by wearing almost all black while attending the Mercedes Benz IMG New York Fashion Week Fall 2010 event in Bryant Park (NYC) the other day.  Similar to an actual episode of “The City” it is rumored that while both were at the same shows, conversations between the two were almost nonexistent, which is very odd to me as you would assume both would have so many insightful things to say.

In other random Whitey Port news, it’s being drunkenly reported that Whito-Palooza is now dating Ben Nemtin, the dude from MTV’s other “reality show” The Buried Life.

Check out other pictures of Olivia and Whitney during Fashion Week below.  It’s amazing that Olivia can keep her head up.

She’s So Fine, There’s No Telling Where the Money Went

The lights are on, but you’re not home, you’re mind is not your own.  Might as well face it you’re addicted to love.  Kristin Cavallari, only missing her guitar and additional backup dancers, was all pissed-off looks while she attended the Us Weekly’s 2009 Hot Hollywood fiesta that took place in West Hollywood.  That’s California, my map says.  Other guests who attended that I deemed note-worthy and by “note-worthy” I, of course, mean “brain-rotting” were Whitney Port, Stephanie Pratt, and Joel McHale.  Obviously I tossed in Joel McHale as he is my career inspiration and his time on The Soup must be winding down.  Check out my lazy thumbnails below and see if you can figure who some of these headless pictures belong to.

Well Look What the Scripted Cat Dragged In!

I guess there’s no reason to watch the next episode of The City because the photo above is showing that Whitney and Ozzy Bobby are still together.  I’m going to take it an assumption further.  It looks like these two are married.  It looks like Ozzy Bobby is impregnating Whitney as they walk out from STK in LA.  It looks like Whitney is 4 centimeters dilated and Ozzy Bobby is mouthing the words to ask me to be the Godfather of their bastard child.  I hope Sleepy Time Allie is the Godmother.

Anycowbell, Whitney was out celebrating her 24th birthday.  Ah, I remember the days of being 24.  I had just got off the Santa Maria, hi-fived Columbus, and signed my name on Ellis Island.  It may not have happened in that order, but that’s what I recall.  Good day.

Whitney Behind the Wheel Kinda Makes Me Fear for My Life and the Lives of Hundreds of Thousands of Others

2 important things to note.  (1) Whitney is about the drive while she’s in LA and I’m betting she’s about to hit 4 people, pop one tire, slam into 2 guard-rails, and spill her coffee all over her lap.  (2) Who knew that Whitney had a bum-bum to show off?  I didn’t think Whitney had it in her.  I mean, I guess it makes sense, sort of, because Lauren Conrad waited a few episodes to show off her mustache, so I guess it’s normal that Whitney would wait a few episodes to show off her ass.  Circle of life, people, circle of life.

As a sidenote, Whitney needs a haircut of some kind.  The rolled out of bed look doesn’t work for her.  And tell her to give LC back her “name necklace.”  What was she thinkinK?