I Always Knew Whitney Port Was a Nazi

After working for Lisa Loveless and Blessed Mother Kelly Cutrone, it was only a matter of time before Whitney turned into a full fledged Nazi.  Hey oh!  Sadly, this is the most interesting thing I can say about Whitney.  What am I thinkinK? Whitney Port, sporting some aqua blue spandex, hailed a cab in chilly […]

It’s Just Like an Episode of “The City.” Olivia Palermo and Whitney Port Don’t Talk to Each Other.

Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo were both subconsciously listening to Kelly Cutrone by wearing almost all black while attending the Mercedes Benz IMG New York Fashion Week Fall 2010 event in Bryant Park (NYC) the other day.  Similar to an actual episode of “The City” it is rumored that while both were at the same […]

She's So Fine, There's No Telling Where the Money Went

  The lights are on, but you’re not home, you’re mind is not your own.  Might as well face it you’re addicted to love.  Kristin Cavallari, only missing her guitar and additional backup dancers, was all pissed-off looks while she attended the Us Weekly’s 2009 Hot Hollywood fiesta that took place in West Hollywood.  That’s […]

Well Look What the Scripted Cat Dragged In!

I guess there’s no reason to watch the next episode of The City because the photo above is showing that Whitney and Ozzy Bobby are still together.  I’m going to take it an assumption further.  It looks like these two are married.  It looks like Ozzy Bobby is impregnating Whitney as they walk out from […]

Whitney Behind the Wheel Kinda Makes Me Fear for My Life and the Lives of Hundreds of Thousands of Others

  2 important things to note.  (1) Whitney is about the drive while she’s in LA and I’m betting she’s about to hit 4 people, pop one tire, slam into 2 guard-rails, and spill her coffee all over her lap.  (2) Who knew that Whitney had a bum-bum to show off?  I didn’t think Whitney […]

"The Bangs Monster" and "Gappy Tooth" Ain't No Audrina and Lo

What are we into now like 25 or 30 episodes into The City?  I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least 27 episodes.  I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to really warm up to The Bangs Monster or Whitney’s other sidekick, Gappy Tooth.  Because of this I’ve decided that their actual names […]

Whitney Shoots Scenes for “The City.” What is She DoinK?

Ugh. Looks like the producers/creators of Whitney’s new Hills spinoff, “The City” are already giving up. You know how on The Hills now they don’t even bother shooting scenes of Heidi in her “actual” office because they know we don’t believe she works there? They just have her sit in the lobby and they’re like […]

Whitney Port Does “The City.” Or Is it “CitK?”

Thanks to the millions of emails alerting me that Whitney’s new Hills spinoff called “The City” has offically been picked up and will air towards the beginninK of the Spring. Really? The City? What ideas got shot down before that title was agreed on? What a real craptastic treat it will be for me to […]

Whitney’s Hills Spinoff???

I can’t believe this might actually be happeninK! Everyone’s favorite advice giver on The Hills, Whitney, may in fact be gettinK her own “Hills” spinoff. Santa Claus, you really are a miracle maker. You too, Jesus! A source (probably MTV) has got in touch with Us Weekly, the magazine who blows The Hills on a […]

I’m Showing Picutres of Whitney Port Again Because It’s My Blog and I Make the Decisions…Well, Me and Jesus, and Jesus Likes Whitney Too. Cool?

The Hampton’s just got a little more exciting, thanks to Whitney Port. Did that sound fake? Anyway, everyones favorite Hills character has made it onto the cover of Social Life and was in the Hampton’s to celebrate. Now these photos aren’t as exciting as the other day when Whitney’s boob popped out of her dress […]

Uh Oh! Whitney Forgot Her Bra!

Ruh-Ro Rorge! What is Whitney doinK? First Audrina flashed her rack-attack and next thinK you know, Whitney Port, from The Hills, heads out for a little lunch at The Ivy and forgets to wear her bra. Luckily hardly anyone, especially the paparazzi, take pictures at The Ivy so I’m sure no one even noticed. Whitney […]

The Hills: Whitney Hates the “C” Word

Just because the craptasic Hills is over for the season, doesn’t mean we can’t still stalk our favorite scripted cast members. This time, I’ve done a little detective work and tracked down Whitney from The Hills to see what in the hell she’s been up to. Apparently some interesting news is that her last name […]