More Mindless Stories on ‘white trash’
14
Can We Talk About “Butch” from “Teen Mom”
I’m not going to lie. I watch Teen Mom on MTV. It’s good. It is. Screw you for judging me. I know you just did. You just did it again. Anytrash, every time Butch shows up on the screen I always think I accidentally sat on my remote control and changed the channel to Fox and am watching the follow up to an episode of COPS.
So Butch is the father of Tyler who goes out with Catelynn who had to give her baby, Carly, up for adoption during the last season of “16 and Pregnant.” I guess now Butch is married to Catelynn’s mom, so Butch is not only Tyler’s dad, but also Catelynn’s stepdad and Catelynn’s mom is Tyler’s stepmom, but Catelynn and Tyler are not technically brother and sister. Take a breath. Just another family tree tracing in the South!
Butch, with his rat-tail-gray-and-black-mullet has been in jail for the majority of Tyler’s life so Tyler basically hates his dad. In the latest episode, Butch may be going back to jail, from what I understand, for pushing Catelynn’s mom. Seriously, what!?! Even I can’t figure this out. All I know is that with parents who appear to be so screwed up, Catelynn and Tyler actually seem to have a great head on their shoulders and have a fighting chance of making something out of their lives. Although, secretly, I’m hoping that Butch gets his own spinoff show. Oh, and by “secretly” I actually mean, “I’m writing a letter to MTV as we speak.”
Oh Butch.
Discuss.
22
Let’s Play the "Britney Spears White Trash Spotter" Game!
This, my friends, is what I like to call a “blogger lay-up.” Britney Spears was creepily photographed in the privacy of her own home in her bikini, smoking, and with her son. Now I’m not sure if this is “What’s His Face” or “The Other One” but one thing is for certain, it’s fun to try to spot all the white-trash stuff in the photo. It’s like Highlights for adults! I picked out everything in the first photo and you get to pick out everything in the second photo. In the first photo I found the following “white-trashness”:
- Woman smoking in a bikini
- Christmas bulbs still decorated on the plants…in July
- A stray wire sloppily placed in front of an open door without a screen
- A small boy reaching for the cigarettes
- A small boy holding a lighter
Did I miss anything? What white trash can you spot in the second photo?
As a sidenote, it looks like Britney’s working out is finally paying off.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
22
Dina Lohan is the White Tyra Banks
“Look at me,” Dina Lohan said in the latest Harper’s Bazaar, in which she talked about her daughter’s run-ins with celebrity photographers. “Diana will happen again.”
Dina on critics of her parenting techniques: “I’m living the American dream, and you can go . . .”
Dina on wearing Lindsay’s clothes and partying with the young actress: “If you can button it and clip it when you’re in your 40s, you’re going out.”
Dina on introducing herself as her daughter’s personal assistant: “I don’t want them to know I’m her mom. It’s a whole ‘nother demographic. People just go dark.”
Dina on the other panty-less members of the “Bimbo Summit” – Paris Hilton and Britney Spears: “They’re the American dream. They’re the Trumps of the little world, these kids. Paris is a really smart girl, and she’s come really far. Paris’ mom was wonderfully embracing to me. You know, you can’t blame parents for kids.”
Dina on whether her daughter is an alcoholic: “Noooo! She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in. And she’s from an addictive personality genetically. And in that world, they give you things like candy. Hurt your ankle? ‘Let’s give her something.’”
Yeah Dina rocks. Oh, and by “rocks” I actually mean “is white trash.” I love it when mothers dress like 16 year old whores and tell people to go “f” themselves. Very sweet. “Angel-like” actually.
Special thanks to FadedYouth for the interview info.
16
Why I Heart Dina Lohan
16
Breaking News: Tonya Harding Still Nuts
It appears that Tonya called the police in her hometown at 4:56 a.m freaking out to police that someone was trying to steal her car and stash rifles on the side of her property. Hmmm, interesting. About 4 hours later a friend of Tonya’s called back the police and informed them that Tonya was “tweaking out and seeing animals.” Her friend said that Tonya was staying with her and was not violent, but she was worried about her own kids welfare. When the police arrived to follow up on these crazy little calls they reported that Tonya was very agitated and was glancing everywhere. Tonya claimed she was on a new medication and was having a bad reaction to it.
In perhaps what is my favorite part of this story…the authorities then took Tonya safely back to her trailer. No joke, it’s really a trailer. Now I would have assumed it was and made the joke it was, but in actuality the report really claimed that she lives in a trailer. It’s like sometimes the jokes just write themselves, you know?
06
Britney is Smoking and NOT Smoking Hot
Britney was recently quoted as saying that being single is “awesome!” Yeee Haw! Then I picture her spitting and shooting a gun in the air. Maybe she’s single because she’s smoking nasty cigarettes and doesn’t brush her rats nest of a hairdo? I love me a girl who smokes a lot. It’s so sexy. I mean, the way her breath stinks, her teeth start to “yellow,” she gets wrinkles around her mouth, her voice deepens, she coughs a lot, she loses her breath easily, she isn’t able to run long distances…HOT HOT HOT! I really like my women sounding like they work in a Bingo Hall. Anyway, Britney was ‘caught smoking’ while walking the streets of NYC over the weekend, and looking good by the way. Not white-trashy at all, at-all.Who Shot That Smoker!?!
04
Anna Nicole: You Ain’t None Isn’t Daddy!
…at least that’s how I think she would say it. Anna Nicole’s ex-boyfriend has officially filed a lawsuit against Anna, claiming he’s the father of Anna’s new daughter and wants the baby to take a paternity test. Hey, that’s just like it says in the Bible!
According to the lawsuit, Anna was taking meth and that Howard K. Stern has been facilitating her habit. Well Merry Crystalmethmas Anna!
Move over “House of Carters” there’s some old fashion white trash we need to deal with first and then we can move back to yours. Be fair. Share.
