More Mindless Stories on ‘victoria beckham’
Mar
19
According to Poshtoria’s Blog she has successfully and officially signed a “prestigious television deal with NBC.” This show that has been deemed a “unique series” will be made by Simon Fuller’s (American Idol) 19TV and will air later this summer. Nice! Nothing like throwing this show together in a few short months.
In preparation for seeing Poshtoria all over TV this summer, young girls all across American have already begun vomiting over their toilets. Stock in toothbrushes is also expected to soar.
That’s right, my friends, you can also learn about the stock-market here at IBBB. It’s very well rounded over here.
Feb
15
Poshtoria is such a helpful robot/person, similar to Rosie from The Jetsons. Poshtoria has taken to her blog again to give some helpful tips on what to buy the special guy and/or girl in your life this Valentine’s Day season.
Let’s take a Posh Peek into what she has to say:
For her:A personalised iPod or i-pod shuffle loaded up with her favourite songs in red!
A Tiffany celebration ring.
A pair of red healed shoes by Christian Louboutin.
Name a star for someone.Agent Provocateur game.
Thin fresh water pearl bracelet with ribbon.
Name a rose after her!
A candle-lit bath with petals.
A large bouquet of red blooded roses.
A romantic weekend in Paris for two.
Tiger Lily tea lights.
A Day at a spa followed by Dinner.
Net a porter vouchers.
A Giambattista Valli evening dress.
Intimately Beckham perfume.
Theatre tickets.
A new vacuum cleaner!
For Him:
Flying lesson.
Love tokens.
Intimately David Beckham Massage oil.
Tickets to see his favourite band of football game.
Personalised football history book.
Ice hotel weekend break.
A Massage.
Intimately David Beckham Aftershave.
A personally-engraved watch.
Nose hair trimmers.
A pair of Garden Shears!
My personal favorites, of course, are the “ideas” that Poshtoria came up with that are products that she and her husband sell. Oh, by the way Posh, this is America. If you tell a guy to get a girl a vacuum and he gets it for her, he’ll wind up dead. I would never get a girl a vacuum. Wait, is Poshtoria a terrorist?
Posh Says Who!?!
Feb
14
There are many diseases out there, but nothing is more tragic for a celebrity to suffer from than Ghostboobitis. The symptoms are visible and really are evident when light flashes at them. Poor Victoria Beckham has recently been diagnosed (by me) of having Ghostboobitis. Scary.
Poshtoria was in NYC recently having some lunch for friends (Scary and Baby?) and then did a little shopping on 5th Ave. I wonder if she bought a shirt that you can’t see through? Perhaps she is proud of her Ghostboobitis? She should be.
I hope Ghostboobitis isn’t contagious (well I kinda do) because according to a report in a British newspaper, Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx has recently stated she and Poshtoria are friends and she even takes fashion advice from her. Saint Jennifer said:
“It’s true, we’re two friends who share that passion. A while ago she came to my house to help me pick a dress for the Golden Globes. We had a great time and in the end we agreed on the black gown I wore. It was the best choice.”
Really? Somehow I can’t picture Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx allowing anyone to tell her anything about anything, ever.
My advice to J Lo? Be carefully or your Ghost Boobs will be next!
Feb
01
Poshtoria Beckham, that fat-ass, has decided to start up a fashion line for “curvy” women. Not only that, but she won’t allow women who are size “zero” to model her clothes (she’ll probably just do that herself). It has been stated that, “Victoria doesn’t want to be accused of giving young girls a complex about about their image and putting pressure on them to be as skinny as her.”
Sure, that is a step in the right direction, but are these girls blind? Oh, and are they dumb too? So Poshtoria want’s to set a good example? Uh, doesn’t she know they’re going to see her eventually? And how dumb are these girls? Poshtoria is all like, hey fat-asses here are your jeans…….these jeans over here (the nice ones), those are all mine and not for you, fatty. Enjoy your fat jeans that have been bedazzeled the hell out of.
Jan
23
Now I’ve never really liked Poshtoria as she scares me and small children. However, after seeing these new photos of Poshtoria in her LA hotel I may have a new found respect for her. Poshtoria has someone take some very ghetto pictures of herself posted on her blog.
Her blog you ask? Oh yeah, she has one too. I only say the photos are ghetto for two reasons:
(1) They were taken with her mobile phone and (2) I take the same type of pictures and, clearly after viewing my blog now for the past 5-months you know I’m all about being ghetto. So now I’m scared because I feel like me and Poshtoria are sharing too much in common. Will I turn into a robot next? Am I already a robot? Zoinks Scoob!
In other Poshtoria news, allegedly she is pissed over the fact that she and David (yes I use proper English sometimes….sometimes) were taken off Liz Hurley’s wedding guest list. To make matter even worse, a random source as told The Sun that Victoria found out that Liz had been talking mad smack about Poshtoria behind her bony back in regards to her weight, her looks, and (even worse) her fashion shoots. Seriously? Who talks about someones fashion shoot? How would you even go about that?
So Vicky B (new nickname) decided to rise above all this and just not talk to her. That’ll teach her! Now, if Poshtoria can only give the United States the silent treatment we would be in a real win-win situation.
