More Mindless Stories on ‘tori spelling’
Jul
07
07
Luke Perry to Play Jim Walsh?
Luke Perry, wearing jeans on jeans, was alive and well at LAX over the weekend and by LAX I don’t mean the club that “all the kids” go to, I actually mean LAX….the airport. Glamorous. Dylan is looking a little too old to be playing Brenda’s love interest in the new 90210, so I’m pushing for him to play the role of Jim Walsh, assuming they will be casting for that. Hopefully all the letters I’ve been writing to both the producers of the new 90210 and Santa Claus will make this happen.
Oh, and last week I wrote about Shannon Doherty coming back to the new 90210. Praise my Jesus! I then got about 6,000 emails telling me that my favorite, Tori Spelling, was now out of the new 90210. I was devastated as I’m waiting for them to recreate the scene when Ray Pruit tossed Donna’s ass down a flight of stairs. Well, after the candle-lit vigil I held, Tori Spelling is saying that she WILL be in the new 90210, but just not in the pilot episode as she is taking care of some family and personal business first. I’m assuming this means she’ll either be getting a divorce or she’s still waiting to hear if she made the cut for the new Dancing With the Stars. Either way, she’s in! Da-da-da-Donna, Da-da-da-Donna. Crrr Crrr!
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Jun
19
19
Donna Martin’s Dog Kicks It Hard
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Donna Martin’s dog, Mimi LaRue (which I believe is Latin for “Impulse Purchase”) is currently sipping French Vanilla Iced Coffees in hell right now with Satan. First Tim Russert and now this? Hasn’t the American public suffered enough loss for one week?
Mimi LaRue was 11 years old, which is like 102 in Aaron Spelling years, and died of natural causes with the whole family (minus that crazy shit-house rat, Candy) by her side. Tori spoke with People Magazine about this devastation and I’m sure it’ll land her a guest spot on The View. Tori said:
“She was a star and a true lady, and she will be missed greatly. I’m convinced she waited around to make sure I had the daughter I always dreamt about before she left us.”
Uh, Mimi probably waited until you signed on the dotted line for your role as Donna Martin, again, in the new 90210 spinoff. I mean, I know that’s what I’m waiting for before I meet Jesus.
My thoughts, prayers, and old sneakers go out to the Spelling family in their time of need. As a side note, Andrea Zuckerman was unsuccessfully reached for comment.
Jun
10
10
Tori Spelling Gives Birth
So Tori Spelling did not shoot her baby out of her vagina yesterday, June 9th. She had it cut out of her, like an alien. It’s called a c-section. That’s how that works, kids, so if you have any specific questions, ask your parents. We already knew that Tori was having a girl (6lbs, 8oz.), but we didn’t know her name…..until now. I was really truely hoping that the name would be “Donna” as that would have been awesome, but sadly it’s not. And the name is……Stella Doreen McDermott.
I know what you’re thinking, but I have to tell ya I love the first name, “Stella” as it is legit the name of my favorite beer. No joke. What could be better than that!? If she were my daughter every time I called her name I would probably grab a beer, which means I would be drunk most of the day, which means I would be a lot more fun…and fun = good parenting. See the cycle? If I were Tori, though, I would probably drop the name “McDermott.” There are many reasons for that, which I will explain at a later time.
Congrats Tori! Now get your ass back in 90210 shape! You have a set of stairs that Ray Pruit needs to toss you down and he shouldn’t have to lift your fat ass. Get to work.
Jun
02
02
Hey Dean, Enjoying That Downtime Huh?
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Remember when you were little and you and your school pals thought you’d “pull one over” on your 3rd grade teacher by putting a whoopie cushion on her chair so that when she sat down it would sound like she farted? Remember how you and your friends planned this all summer long and couldn’t wait for the first day of school so that you could finally execute that plan? Remember how you always had that one friend that backed out at the last minute because he was too scared? Remember how that your plan was kinda cool at the time because you were, you know, like 9 yrs old? Well, if you tried to pull that sort of prank as an adult it would have turned into this….
Tori Spelling’s husband hopped into his Range Rover and headed up to his second home, Robertson Boulevard, and parked it across the street from Lisa Kline with the paparazzi snapping photos. Oh boy, wait for this. Once he got out he helped “Tori” out of the car, but when “Tori” got out “she” looked more like the mother from Psycho. Well, that’s because….wait for it….wait for it….it WASN’T Tori….it was a girl with a blond wig and a fake baby bump! Who in the what!?! Dean’s friend took off the wig, exposed her red hair, and everyone laughed. Score! Dean totally punk’d the paparazzi. So, um, you’re really enjoying your downtime Dean…aren’t ya? Yowza. I’d try to go and do one of those “auditions” that actors typically try to go to. I hear they’re fun.
May
30
30
Tori Spelling: Weebles Wobble, But They Don’t Fall Down
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
So is Tori Spelling 12 months or 13 months pregnant now? I’m not sure how all that works. She may have given birth already and just having the new baby live inside her. If it’s good enough for the kangaroos it’s good enough for the Spelling’s. Anydonna, Tori Spelling and her wife (Dean), headed out with their son (David Silver) to Pink’s Hot Dogs (The Peach Pit) to see how Kelli, Brenda, Brandon, and Dylan (the paparazzi) are all doing. It wasn’t long before Tori fed her son some of her hot dog (gave her husband some of her money) and a few pictures were secretly snapped (strategically planned out and paparazzi were called in advance) and they jumped (wobbled) into their car (ghetto SUV) to head home (to sell out more). 
