More Mindless Stories on ‘tori spelling’
Mar
23
23
Donna Looks Like She’ll Break When Ray Throws Her Down a Flight
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Tori Spelling may have recently just shot a human out of her Wonka Vision, but apparently she’s already lost the baby weight and just in time for her comeback in the new 90210. Even some of her trademark Donna-Rack-Attack appears to be magically disappearing too. Tori was snapped at whilst leaving a salon the other day in sunny LA. I don’t know, you guys, I kinda think that if Donna is going to be thrown down the stairs again by Ray Pruit she’s going to need to gain a few extra pounds and bulk up in order to withstand the fall. A real actress wouldn’t use a stuntman for this.
Anydonnamartingraduates, Tori returns to 90210 on March 31st (I didn’t even know there were 31 days in March…is that new?) and below is the clip that flashed across my television and gave me hope that one day we may also see Donna and Ray reunite over a set of concrete stairs. No joke, with my new job I pitched a Donna and Ray reunion. Didn’t go over so well. Gulp. I will get this reunion one day, damn it, I will!
Feb
06
06
Soggy Tori Spelling Shoots Wet Scenes for 90210 (That Sounded Dirtier Than I Meant It. I’m Keeping It).
All I have to say is that Donna Martin better be running away from Ray Pruit because he tried to throw her down the stairs for the 2nd time and Kelly Taylor is helping Donna by rushing her to an anonymous women’s shelter where they’ll give her a change of clothes, a new cell phone, makeup for her bruises, and a map to her new secret home in Nebraska. That better be what this scene is about or I’m not going to tune into the new 90210 to watch it. Who am I kidding? I’m watching it anyway.
Tori’s looking good these days after she blew her second child straight out of her vagina. The weight just peaced out of her body. Good for her. See how f’n nice I can be? In other related 90210 news, Shannen Doherty and her spaced-teeth have agreed to sign on for at least one more crapisode. I hope Kelly, Donna, and Brenda all play “Skeleton’s in the Closet” again. Maybe they’ll even invite Andrea and she can show up in her nana-flannel-nightgown. Let’s pray for this. Let’s pray.
Feb
02
02
Tori Spelling FINALLY Back on 90210! Get Ready for Those Stairs, Donna!
No folks, you’re not dreaming. These are actual photos of Donna Martin and Kelly Taylor filming scenes for upcoming episodes of 90210. Between Jamie Walters on that Confessions of a Teen Idol show and Tori Spelling back on 90210 it’s like the Perfect Storm for Donna to get thrown down a flight of stairs. Honestly, I would probably give all of my 401K (which basically totals $11.41) if they would just recreate that scene.
So basically Kelly and Donna are sipping coffee on the porch in this scene. Perhaps, Kelly could say to Donna, “Donna, don’t you love the smell of this coffee?” To which, Donna could EASILY reply, “I’ve lost my sense of smell ever since that time that Ray pushed me down the stairs, remember?” And then they could show an updated scene of that episode. See how easy it is? Oh please oh please let that happen.
P.S, I’m glad Tori is back to work on a legit show. I like how we live in a world where everyone is given a second chance.
Jan
08
08
Now’s Your Chance, Ray! Donna Martin and Tori Spelling Set to Fix the New 90210!
Seriously, was it not just yesterday that I blogged about Tori Spelling coming back to 90210 and now People Magazine is reporting that Tori Spelling is in final negotiations to bring Donna Martin’s sweet as back to television. No joke, she better sign the contract because I don’t know how many more times I can “report” on this. Hahah, I just said “report.” I’m a professional.
Now, as far as the rumors go, random drunken people are saying that Tori was waiting for Shannen Doherty to finish up her contract so that the two wouldn’t have to work together. Oh, and by “random drunken people” I, of course, mean me and by douche-bag friends.
I say Shannen should stick around, along with Jennie Garth, and now Tori Spelling. Bring back Valerie and, of course, Ray Pruit so he can….wait for it…..wait for it…..wait for it…..toss her down a flight of stairs! Ding! Ding! Ding! If I could ever interview Tori Spelling I would only ask her questions about that episode and then I’d see if she would allow me to reenact it with her. One can dream.
Just when I stopped watching the new 90210….they….just….might….suck….me….back…..in.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Dec
11
11
Ray Pruit Should Start Greasing the Stairs, Because Tori Spelling May Be Back in 90210!
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
So either she’s coming back or she isn’t. That’s pretty much where we stand with Tori Spelling coming back to 90210. However, E News is now reporting that producers are in talks with Tori again to guest star on a bunch of episodes and possibly even specific episodes that Brandon Walsh will direct.
Look, I’m not getting my hopes up….again. So many times I’ve dreamt of the day in which Donna Martin would come back to town, bump into a balding Ray Pruit, and then (of course) get tossed down a flight of stairs.
Maybe they could fulfill all of my dreams and have Tori Spelling play 2 parts. Similar to the episode of The Brady Bunch where Peter played two roles, Tori could play both Donna Martin and….wait for it…..wait for it……Violet Bickerstaff. Violet, of course, was Screech’s short-term girlfriend in early episodes of Saved By the Bell.
Please Jesus Claus make this happen. Please Santa Christ, give us something this holiday season. Times are tough enough as it is.
Sep
23
23
Looks Like Someone is Camera Ready to Be Tossed Down a Flight of Stairs by Ray Pruit!
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
I know I’m going to get crap for this, but I think Tori Spelling is looking good. Ok, I must confess something. Who reads the book The Secret? Me too. So they say you should put positivity out there then you can get things you want in return. I want Donna Martin back, ok. I said it. I want Donna Martin back in the new 90210. I want more Donna Martin graduates. I want more Donna Martin getting tossed down a flight of stairs by Ray Pruit. I want more Donna Martin in sexy lingerie with red hair whilst laying on the bed waiting to give it up to David Silver. I want more Donna Martin catching her mom having an affair. I want more Donna Martin wearing crazy prom outfits that don’t allow her to sit down. There are all the things I want. So, I’m putting positive Tori Spelling vibes out there so that this happens. We’ll see if it works. Scratch that. We’ll see WHEN it works.
Anymartin, Tori Spelling and her husband spent a little time on rojo carpet at the TV Guide Emmy Afterparty. I’m not sure why there are half-dead flowers on the ground behind her, but I’ll let that slide. Although, I’m almost certain that flowers do fall out of Tori’s vaginastein. Uh-oh, that doesn’t hurt her chances of coming back to 90210 does it? Drat.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Aug
08
08
Ugh! Tori Spelling Doing Other Things Besides Being Donna Martin
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Seriously enough is enough! Tori Spelling was out with her two kids, Liam and Stella, wearing what I can only assume is a nightie and I’m pissed! I no longer need to see Tori with her kids or basically doing anything else but practicing to be the best up-to-date Donna Martin she can be. This will include wearing big dresses in which she is not able to sit, getting thrown down a flight of stairs by Ray Pruitt, and telling the world she is a dyslexic virgin. Oh, and not being able to graduate since she got trashed off of champagne at the prom. She should ONLY be photographed doing those things.
Similar to the “Best Brenda Walsh Quotes” I am adding the “Best Donna Martin Quotes.” Enjoy. Oh, and I’m a loser. Enjoy!
- I was brought up believing I’d wait till I got married. I just can’t wipe that all out because of how my body feels.
- What’s left for me? Dye my hair? Get a boob job?
- I promise I wouldn’t get in the way, I’ll be like Yoko Ono or something.
- So I was blitz shopping Melrose yesterday, and I see Jockey for her, Calvin Klein for her, BVD for her. Now I don’t get it, I mean I don’t see them making Maidenform for him.
- If your looking for a wild night, I’m not your girl, okay?
- So, anyone know any good divorce songs?
- Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin graduates! (fine she technically didn’t say it)
- Owwwwwww! (when Ray pushes her down the flight of stairs)
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Aug
06
06
Tori Spelling Dresses Up Because, You Know, That’s What You Do
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Clearly money was no object on the People Magazine “set” for Tori Spelling and her husband to reennact famous couples from yesteryear. Tossing on some vintage clothes and dropping a green screen in the background is all you need. Tori and Dean dressed up, from what I hear, for a music video they were shooting for their reality show because, you know, you need a music video. Tori, time to hang up the reality show and put all of your focus on bringing back Donna Martin, specifically the scene where Ray tossed you down the flight of stairs. I’ll be waiting.
Here’s who these two are posing as:
- Tori played the role of Cher with her rack-attack hanging out and Dean did his best Sony. Apprently Sony used to snap his fingers a lot? Great acting, Dean.
- Next up Tori played Courtney Love and Dean played Kurt Cobain. Nice job holding the guitar. Very believable.
- Finally, Tori played the role of Lucille Ball, in which apparently Lucy used to pose like that. On the other side, Dean played the role of…..Phil Hartman?
Seriously, what is the reasoning behind this? And how much are they getting paid for this. Yes, I’m jealous. I would dress up as the entire cast of 90210 and The Hills for $19.99 and chicken soft taco.
Aug
04
04
So Why Do Tori and Dean Look So Pissed?
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Geesh! What’s up with The Addams Family? Tori Spelling and her wife, Dean, were looking less than pleased whilst they attended the Christian Audigier: The Nightclub inside of Treasure Island in Vegas. Seriously, Treasure Island is a dump. It’s like Circus Circus. Stay away. Anyway, is anyone else noticing that Tori and Dean seem bored with everything they’re doing lately? I’m not going to start a rumor because, at the end of the day who really cares, but my prediction is that Tori will be bailing on the marriage by season 2 of the new 90210. Dean’s holding her back. You can kinda tell.
Oh, and by the way, I’m usually wrong with these things about 97% of the time. Helping to prove that theory, it’s been reported that Tori is pushing for 90210 to add Dean to the cast as a guest star that will lead into something more permanent. That way, Tori and Dean can carpool with the kids to the 90210 set. What a dream come true! By the way, why bother carpooling when you totally know that Andrea Zuckerman is driving a shuttle bus back and forth throughout Beverly Hills, which is sort of ironic considering she was hit by a bus in the earlier seasons of 90210. I also have no idea what I’m talking about. Good day.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Jul
07
07
Luke Perry to Play Jim Walsh?
Luke Perry, wearing jeans on jeans, was alive and well at LAX over the weekend and by LAX I don’t mean the club that “all the kids” go to, I actually mean LAX….the airport. Glamorous. Dylan is looking a little too old to be playing Brenda’s love interest in the new 90210, so I’m pushing for him to play the role of Jim Walsh, assuming they will be casting for that. Hopefully all the letters I’ve been writing to both the producers of the new 90210 and Santa Claus will make this happen.
Oh, and last week I wrote about Shannon Doherty coming back to the new 90210. Praise my Jesus! I then got about 6,000 emails telling me that my favorite, Tori Spelling, was now out of the new 90210. I was devastated as I’m waiting for them to recreate the scene when Ray Pruit tossed Donna’s ass down a flight of stairs. Well, after the candle-lit vigil I held, Tori Spelling is saying that she WILL be in the new 90210, but just not in the pilot episode as she is taking care of some family and personal business first. I’m assuming this means she’ll either be getting a divorce or she’s still waiting to hear if she made the cut for the new Dancing With the Stars. Either way, she’s in! Da-da-da-Donna, Da-da-da-Donna. Crrr Crrr!
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
Jun
19
19
Donna Martin’s Dog Kicks It Hard
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Donna Martin’s dog, Mimi LaRue (which I believe is Latin for “Impulse Purchase”) is currently sipping French Vanilla Iced Coffees in hell right now with Satan. First Tim Russert and now this? Hasn’t the American public suffered enough loss for one week?
Mimi LaRue was 11 years old, which is like 102 in Aaron Spelling years, and died of natural causes with the whole family (minus that crazy shit-house rat, Candy) by her side. Tori spoke with People Magazine about this devastation and I’m sure it’ll land her a guest spot on The View. Tori said:
“She was a star and a true lady, and she will be missed greatly. I’m convinced she waited around to make sure I had the daughter I always dreamt about before she left us.”
Uh, Mimi probably waited until you signed on the dotted line for your role as Donna Martin, again, in the new 90210 spinoff. I mean, I know that’s what I’m waiting for before I meet Jesus.
My thoughts, prayers, and old sneakers go out to the Spelling family in their time of need. As a side note, Andrea Zuckerman was unsuccessfully reached for comment.
Jun
10
10
Tori Spelling Gives Birth
So Tori Spelling did not shoot her baby out of her vagina yesterday, June 9th. She had it cut out of her, like an alien. It’s called a c-section. That’s how that works, kids, so if you have any specific questions, ask your parents. We already knew that Tori was having a girl (6lbs, 8oz.), but we didn’t know her name…..until now. I was really truely hoping that the name would be “Donna” as that would have been awesome, but sadly it’s not. And the name is……Stella Doreen McDermott.
I know what you’re thinking, but I have to tell ya I love the first name, “Stella” as it is legit the name of my favorite beer. No joke. What could be better than that!? If she were my daughter every time I called her name I would probably grab a beer, which means I would be drunk most of the day, which means I would be a lot more fun…and fun = good parenting. See the cycle? If I were Tori, though, I would probably drop the name “McDermott.” There are many reasons for that, which I will explain at a later time.
Congrats Tori! Now get your ass back in 90210 shape! You have a set of stairs that Ray Pruit needs to toss you down and he shouldn’t have to lift your fat ass. Get to work.
Jun
02
02
Hey Dean, Enjoying That Downtime Huh?
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
Remember when you were little and you and your school pals thought you’d “pull one over” on your 3rd grade teacher by putting a whoopie cushion on her chair so that when she sat down it would sound like she farted? Remember how you and your friends planned this all summer long and couldn’t wait for the first day of school so that you could finally execute that plan? Remember how you always had that one friend that backed out at the last minute because he was too scared? Remember how that your plan was kinda cool at the time because you were, you know, like 9 yrs old? Well, if you tried to pull that sort of prank as an adult it would have turned into this….
Tori Spelling’s husband hopped into his Range Rover and headed up to his second home, Robertson Boulevard, and parked it across the street from Lisa Kline with the paparazzi snapping photos. Oh boy, wait for this. Once he got out he helped “Tori” out of the car, but when “Tori” got out “she” looked more like the mother from Psycho. Well, that’s because….wait for it….wait for it….it WASN’T Tori….it was a girl with a blond wig and a fake baby bump! Who in the what!?! Dean’s friend took off the wig, exposed her red hair, and everyone laughed. Score! Dean totally punk’d the paparazzi. So, um, you’re really enjoying your downtime Dean…aren’t ya? Yowza. I’d try to go and do one of those “auditions” that actors typically try to go to. I hear they’re fun.
May
30
30
Tori Spelling: Weebles Wobble, But They Don’t Fall Down
Posted by IBBB
tori spelling 
So is Tori Spelling 12 months or 13 months pregnant now? I’m not sure how all that works. She may have given birth already and just having the new baby live inside her. If it’s good enough for the kangaroos it’s good enough for the Spelling’s. Anydonna, Tori Spelling and her wife (Dean), headed out with their son (David Silver) to Pink’s Hot Dogs (The Peach Pit) to see how Kelli, Brenda, Brandon, and Dylan (the paparazzi) are all doing. It wasn’t long before Tori fed her son some of her hot dog (gave her husband some of her money) and a few pictures were secretly snapped (strategically planned out and paparazzi were called in advance) and they jumped (wobbled) into their car (ghetto SUV) to head home (to sell out more). May
28
28
Confirmed For the 17th Time This Month, Tori Spelling Get Actual Acting Work
In a true biblical sign of the Apocalypse, Tori Spelling will be heading back to an actual acting job in which she will need to not only memorize lines, but wait for it….wait for it….act out those lines. What a concept. This is bitter sweet news for me as I will truly miss watching Tori scoop ice-cream for publicity, run a bed and breakfast for publicity, paint a pig for publicity, etc. On the other hand, Tori will bring Donna Martin to life, which increases the chances of seeing Ray Pruit toss her down a flight of stairs….my lifelong dream/goal.
Donna Martin will be making several appearances on the new 90210, as the owner of one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills that all the kids go to. Um…does that store have a flight of stairs? They better because if not how is Tori gonna get tossed down them?
Anyway, the bottom line is that I’d like to be invited to the premiere party no matter what it takes. I’ll make sex to whoever gets me into that. I’ll also dress up as Aaron Spelling and show up and scare the piss out of everyone. Come on, it’s a win-win!
