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More Mindless Stories on ‘tori spelling’

Apr
06

I’m Sorry, Tori, What Letter is That Supposed to Be?

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Tori Spelling, her husband Dean, and Glee’s Jane Lynch were all backstage at Good Day New York yesterday and it appears Tori got a little confused on which way the “Glee L” was supposed to go.  I guess it makes sense since Donna Martin had a learning disability and all.  And, I guess, with all the steps Donna was thrown down, by Ray Pruit, I’m sure we’re dealing with a little brain trauma as well.  So, yeah, Donna you’re doing just fine.  That’s totally how an “L” looks.  Good for you.  Ok.  All right.  You can sit down now and have a little of your juice box before your nap.  Ok.

Tori and Dean are on a NYC talk show blitz promoting the piss out of their reality show which I believe is called, “Donna Martin Graduates” and telling anyone who will listen that their marriage is not in trouble.

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Mar
23

Donna Looks Like She’ll Break When Ray Throws Her Down a Flight

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Tori Spelling may have recently just shot a human out of her Wonka Vision, but apparently she’s already lost the baby weight and just in time for her comeback in the new 90210.  Even some of her trademark Donna-Rack-Attack appears to be magically disappearing too.  Tori was snapped at whilst leaving a salon the other day in sunny LA.  I don’t know, you guys, I kinda think that if Donna is going to be thrown down the stairs again by Ray Pruit she’s going to need to gain a few extra pounds and bulk up in order to withstand the fall.  A real actress wouldn’t use a stuntman for this.

Anydonnamartingraduates, Tori returns to 90210 on March 31st (I didn’t even know there were 31 days in March…is that new?) and below is the clip that flashed across my television and gave me hope that one day we may also see Donna and Ray reunite over a set of concrete stairs.  No joke, with my new job I pitched a Donna and Ray reunion.  Didn’t go over so well.  Gulp.  I will get this reunion one day, damn it, I will!

 

Feb
06

Soggy Tori Spelling Shoots Wet Scenes for 90210 (That Sounded Dirtier Than I Meant It. I’m Keeping It).

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All I have to say is that Donna Martin better be running away from Ray Pruit because he tried to throw her down the stairs for the 2nd time and Kelly Taylor is helping Donna by rushing her to an anonymous women’s shelter where they’ll give her a change of clothes, a new cell phone, makeup for her bruises, and a map to her new secret home in Nebraska.  That better be what this scene is about or I’m not going to tune into the new 90210 to watch it.  Who am I kidding?  I’m watching it anyway.

Tori’s looking good these days after she blew her second child straight out of her vagina.  The weight just peaced out of her body.  Good for her.  See how f’n nice I can be?  In other related 90210 news, Shannen Doherty and her spaced-teeth have agreed to sign on for at least one more crapisode.  I hope Kelly, Donna, and Brenda all play “Skeleton’s in the Closet” again.  Maybe they’ll even invite Andrea and she can show up in her nana-flannel-nightgown.  Let’s pray for this.  Let’s pray.

Feb
02

Tori Spelling FINALLY Back on 90210! Get Ready for Those Stairs, Donna!

No folks, you’re not dreaming. These are actual photos of Donna Martin and Kelly Taylor filming scenes for upcoming episodes of 90210. Between Jamie Walters on that Confessions of a Teen Idol show and Tori Spelling back on 90210 it’s like the Perfect Storm for Donna to get thrown down a flight of stairs. Honestly, I would probably give all of my 401K (which basically totals $11.41) if they would just recreate that scene.

So basically Kelly and Donna are sipping coffee on the porch in this scene. Perhaps, Kelly could say to Donna, “Donna, don’t you love the smell of this coffee?” To which, Donna could EASILY reply, “I’ve lost my sense of smell ever since that time that Ray pushed me down the stairs, remember?” And then they could show an updated scene of that episode. See how easy it is? Oh please oh please let that happen.

P.S, I’m glad Tori is back to work on a legit show. I like how we live in a world where everyone is given a second chance.

Jan
08

Now’s Your Chance, Ray! Donna Martin and Tori Spelling Set to Fix the New 90210!

Seriously, was it not just yesterday that I blogged about Tori Spelling coming back to 90210 and now People Magazine is reporting that Tori Spelling is in final negotiations to bring Donna Martin’s sweet as back to television. No joke, she better sign the contract because I don’t know how many more times I can “report” on this. Hahah, I just said “report.” I’m a professional.

Now, as far as the rumors go, random drunken people are saying that Tori was waiting for Shannen Doherty to finish up her contract so that the two wouldn’t have to work together. Oh, and by “random drunken people” I, of course, mean me and by douche-bag friends.

I say Shannen should stick around, along with Jennie Garth, and now Tori Spelling. Bring back Valerie and, of course, Ray Pruit so he can….wait for it…..wait for it…..wait for it…..toss her down a flight of stairs! Ding! Ding! Ding! If I could ever interview Tori Spelling I would only ask her questions about that episode and then I’d see if she would allow me to reenact it with her. One can dream.

Just when I stopped watching the new 90210….they….just….might….suck….me….back…..in.

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