More Mindless Stories on ‘tom cruise’
Oct
22
22
Tom Cruise Holds Suri Like He Holds a Football…Not Right.
Posted by IBBB
tom cruise 
Senor Tom Cruise was out and about in the streets of NYC with his daughter, Suri. Tom is basically holding Suri the same way that he holds a football…not right. It’s like he’s trying to hide something. Maybe he’s pregnant? I have no clue what Scientology can do to you. Anyway, I’m sure it’s hard work trying to carry your kid (who is too useless to start working and contributing to the family’s financial empire), dodge the paparazzi, all while sporting your wife’s haircut. Bangs is the new mullet.
As a sidenote, what in the hell is Suri starring at? Rude. Don’t Scientologists teach their kids specifically not to stare? They do, right? Maybe Suri wouldn’t be so nosey about everything if her mother was allowed to scream during the birthing process. Anyway, Suri is the new Bindi Irwin. Sorry Bindi, hit the bricks you tramp.
Jun
18
18
Tom, Katie, and Crew Still Dress Like A-Holes at Every Sporting Event They Go To
The Cruise-Beckham’s were out in full force to show a little support (and a ‘man-crush’ for Tom) for David Beckham and Real Madrid vs. Mallorca. Are the three characters seen above for f’n real? I don’t care how much money you have, why are you wearing that to any type of sporting event. Ever been to the bleachers in Fenway, Poshtoria? Yeah, you’d be thrown into the field with your kid still stuck to you. Sadly, Katie looks the most normal, but it’s doubtful she has any clue where she is or what she is doing. She almost seemed puzzled with the “clapping motion.” Next up is Poshtoria. I’m sure every little kid wants there mommy to be showing up to daddy’s soccer game with her boobs hanging out. And finally, we have saved the best for last. Yes, Tom is wearing what looks like a possible 3 to 4 piece suit to a soccer game. Suit to a soccer game. Suit. Soccer game. Suit. Soccer. I mean he does have a point. How in the hell are you supposed to down some beers and hot dogs if you don’t have your cuff links securely fastened to your bright purple-pressed shirt. And there’s absolutely no way in hell you fully enjoy yourself if you’re not wearing your 5 button suit vest buttoned all the way up. Clearly, they all blend in.Who Shot This Crew!?!
Jun
14
14
Katie Gets Tom’s Haircut
Now did Katie get Tom’s haircut or did Tom get Katie’s haircut? It’s a tough one. It’s like what came first, the chicken or the egg? Tom and Katie left their bratty kid at home and had a nice dinner quiet dinner at Cut restaurant in Beverly Hills the other night. As a side note, when did Katie turn 42? Isn’t she like 26 or something? What a waste. She could be out every night of the week having the paparazzi take pictures of her “lady business” or she could be taking part in the latest trend, “prison sentence.” Oh wait, she kinda is serving a sentence right now. Eh, she’ll learn.
Jan
24
24
Jessica Alba & Tom Cruise to Horrify You
I think there’s an open seat at the Scientology club! Jessica Alba has just signed on to star in a horror film, The Eye, for Tom Cruise’s production company. Jessica signed this $4 million dollar deal, but all the Scientology jokes that will comes from this? Priceless. There is no word yet if Tom Cruise will co-star in the film, but either way phonebooks are already being stacked on all the chairs on the set so Tom can feel like “a big boy” when he sits down. They are starting to film this next month in New Mexico, so if you see Katie Holmes going “south” with Tom you’ll know why.
I don’t know if this is a good move for Jessica. I think I’d stay clear of the “Tom Cruise Train Wreck of Horror” for a while. Although, I typically make the wrong decisions so maybe she should go with the opposite of what I say.
By the way, these photos are of Jessica Alba pumping gas in LA yesterday….riveting, right? Well, the thought of Jessica “pumping” anything is pretty hot, so just go with it.
Jan
17
17
The Most Expensive Celebrity Clown Car
Beep Beep! Here comes the talentless mobile! I never knew that a car actually existed that could fit all of my least favorite celebrities. No joke, after the Golden Globes party, one of their cars broke down so the following people all had to squeeze into one car: Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx (rode shotgun, of course), Poshtoria Spice, Marc Anthony, Katie Holmes, and Tom Cruise. Tom rode bitch, go figure. I can’t even imagine what the conversation must have been. I’m sure Saint Jennifer Lopez put in her “Jenny from the block” CD, while Tom tried to convert the entire backseat to Scientology. Meanwhile, the driver must have fought with his thoughts of crashing the car and putting an end to his misery. Who Shot That Car Load of Talent!?!
