Heidi Calls the Cops on Her Mother Darlene. More Importantly, Who in the Hell is Watching That Damn Horse?

Maybe one of Darlene’s naaaaaaaaaybors is watching her horse. Hey-oh!  In breaking news, Heidi Montag and her husband, Steve Sanders, reportedly called the police on Heidi’s mother, Darlene, when she wouldn’t leave their private property.  When Heidi spoke with TMZ (go figure) she robotically said, “My mom just showed up to the house unannounced…and after […]

That Salad Doesn’t Have a Fighting Chance

Ugh, that poor salad.  The last thing it sees before it will more than likely be vomited out in 35 minutes is Teefs Pats.  What a world. Audrina was out filming more scenes for the final season of The Hills with Raspy Coke Voice (Kristin Cavallari) over the weekend at Toast restaurant in Beverly Hills […]

Some “Hills” Castmembers Replaced by Robots…Just Like “Small Wonder” Did With Vicki. Worked Then, Works Now.

Beep. Beep. Beep.  Do. Not. Get. The. Robots. Wet.  They. Will. Combust.  I.Do. Not. Compute. Stephanie. Pratt.  Beep. Beep. Beep.  When. Did. She. Turn. Into. Tits. On. A. Stick?  Beep.  Beep. Buzzeep. That’s my best “typing robot” I can possibly do.  Trust me, it sounded way better when I was saying it out loud and […]

“The Hills” Gets Canceled….as Does My Life.

You know what?  I think it’s pretty damn rude that “The Hills” will be ending before the actual world ends.  I always assumed it would be a neck and neck (or rack and rack) race to the finish line of world implosion.  MTV, who is now officially dead to me, has decided that we’ve all […]

Watching Them Film Scenes For “The Hills” is More Interesting Than Actually Watching “The Hills”

Teefs Pats, Raspy Coke Voice, and Boobs-Bot all were recently spotted at Villa Blanca restaurant in Beverly Hills, CA the other day filming new and exciting scenes for the upcoming season of “The Hills.”  Well, they were filming scenes.  The “excitement” part lies within the rack of Teefs Pats.  I have a feeling this is […]

Raspy Coke Voice and Teefs Pats Film “Scenes” for the New Season of “The Hills.”

Remember when you were little and your parents would take you to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap and take your yearly Christmas pictures?  Remember how much you loved that when you were little?  Remember you thought it was the best thing when you were at the age when you totally understood who Santa […]

Who the Hell Tried to Kidnap Enzo?

I swear to God if they hurt Enzo in any way I swear to God someone will pay.  I’m kidding, they can sell him on the black market.  I dont’ care.  Although, Enzo was the first person I thought of when TMZ reported that someone placed a 911 call at Heidi and Spencer’s house of […]

The Hills Reunion. Thanks 2010!

So far 2010 is turning out to be a real mind crowd pleaser for me.  First, the world did not, in fact, implode as I was pretty sure it would and, second, my eyes get to witness a mini Hills reunion of sorts.  Celebrating the New Year at Beso in Hollywood were some Hills favorites […]

10 Ways to Save "The Hills"

As you know, The Hills has been hitting tilt on the “shit-0-meter” as of recent and by “recent” I mean “since season 2.”  As much as I want to give Kristin Cavallari the spanking of her life and send her to my her room, she’s just not cutting it and the show is sliding down […]

With the Heat in LA, I'm Sure Heidi's Outfit Smells Like the Basement of a Church

  Ah yes, two of America’s sweethearts, Audrina Patridge and Heidi Montag, filmed scenes for an upcoming episode of this little show known as “The Hills” in LA yesterday.  Audrina, playing the role of the beaver-toofed-dead-eyed whore stands and listens to Heidi as the cameras roll.  I will only assume that Heidi is telling her […]

So, Uh, This is the Future of The Hills

Good morning.  If you’re like me (a loser) and have been up at night trying to figure out how they’ll continue to shoot The Hills without the beloved Lauren Conrad, I may just have the answer for you.  You see, the wondrous photos above are from actual scenes that are being shot for the new […]

American Royalty

Wow, everyone is totally committed to the script of The Hills.  I mean, this circus consists of a wedding dress, a priest, and tuxedos!  Thankfully, Brody is being budget conscience and is sporting some sneakers with his suit.  Anyway, America has new royalty.  IBBB is proud to present “Mr and Mrs Chin-Boobs Pratt Sanders.  Similar […]

Heidi Reads Her Lines While Driving Away from the Church

Heidi looks like she’s trying to perform long-division on her hand and Spencer lets us know just how small is penis actually is.  I think it’s great that they can fit an entire portion of the script directly on Heidi’s hand.  I guess it makes sense since 20 out of the 22 minutes of the […]

If Brent Bolhouse Didn't Ever Want to Be Around Spencer, He Probably Shouldn't Have Gone to Their Wedding and Stood in the Front Row

It’s fun to play “Where’s Waldo” with past cast members of The Hills at Heidi and Steve Sanders wedding.  This time around I spotted Brent Bolthouse, who kinda looks like Waldo.  I also thought that Brent told Heidi he didn’t  ever want to be around Spencer again?  I’m pretty sure his odds increase of seeing […]

A Lot of Troll Dolls Had to Die For This….

  Well it looks like all fences have been mended and 16 pounds of troll doll hair were ordered and hot-glue-gunned to the head of Heidi and crew.  Past reports that Heidi and her horse from Crested Butte trotted down the aisle together have turned up false as you can see from the above photo. […]

Lauren Conrad Quits "The Hills"

Well you have some nerve, Lauren Conrad, SOME NERVE!  I have half-a-mind to take you over my knee and give you the spanking of your life!  We’re in a recession and you’re going to pull this crap?  I should wash your mouth out with cheap gin and force you to wear your own clothing line. […]

The Hills Gang Filming in Wonka-Vision?

  Oompa Loompa Doopity Do I’ve got 3 Talentless Skanks For You. Oompa Loompa Doopity Da, Follow the Script and You Will Go Far. What Do You Get With The Hills Season 5 Eating and Stares and Eye Rolls and Sighs. None of These Girls Have 1 Ounce of Fat, Speaking of Which, Where is […]

The Hills Season 5 Preview: Scripted Punches, Scripted Tears, Scripted Hugs. Scripted Scripts.

    So yeah, uh, I’m playing it cool.  I could care less that I just saw the teaser for The Hills Season 5.  Yeah, who cares, right?  That show totally sucks.  Ok, now that that’s over.  I’m completely pumped that The Hills Season 5 is going to start soon and after seeing the ridiculousness […]

The Hills Gang Goes to Hawaii! I Hope They Return the Tiki to Professor Whitehead!

Bonus points to whoever got my joke in the title and by “bonus points” I mean “imaginary nothings.” For those of you, like me, who are are trying to fill the void in your lives ever since The Hills has been on hiatus, well do I have the perfect fix for you!  It’s two parts […]

The "B Team" of The Hills Has a Reunion!

I don’t want to oversell this, but….JACKPOT! Remember Brian and Jordan from the first season of The Hills? One of them played the boyfriend of Heidi and the other played the kid who was chasing after Oddrina. (Insert sarcastic overtone) I’m sure these dudes are kicking themselves for not sticking with those two prizes. Just […]