More Mindless Stories on ‘temp-2’

Everybody Gets Reruns Onllllly!!

Oprah’s Big Give!!!!!!!

• Oprah’s new reality show started up last night. I’m pretty sure this is a big trick and this will really be Oprah’s Favorite Things episode, but I’ll watch anyway.
• In typical Tyra Banks fashion, Oprah calls the contestants personally. If Oprah called me I would definitely ask her if Gayle was in bed next to her. I’d then, for sure, be asked to no longer be on the show.
• Some of the contestants react like the normal audience members at the Oprah show…well the women do. The guys are just like, “cool, thanks Oprah.
• It’s been 5 full minutes. Why hasn’t Oprah given out a car yet? I’m bored.
• It’s been 6 minutes and Oprah already started yelling and is even showing about 3 centimeters of cleavage or “Oprage” as I like to call it.
• 7 minutes in and Oprah yells, “you’re very fiiiiiirst challllennnnnngggge!” I’m officially watching the entire season.
• Teams are formed and the challenges are ready to begin. The first teams stops off at this ladies house. She doesn’t know who they are, but she (and her two little daughters) let in the strangers. Note to self, bring a camera crew and just start burglarizing people. Oh, and say you’re with the Oprah show too. Clearly everyone buys that.
• Ok IBBB readers, we have an issue. These stories are kind of sad…horrific even. I don’t think that even I can make fun of them. Crap. I’ll have to just stick to Oprah. I hope she pops up soon!
• Ok there’s the car. I assumed Oprah would find a way to toss one in. Where has Oprah been though? I miss her.
• Why are the judges yelling at the fashion show team? It’s like, “You’re helping people and raising money, but I don’t like fashion shows so why did you do it?!” Can you really do charity wrong?
• Isn’t Jamie Oliver a chef? Why is he a judge? I thought Oprah once said only God could judge us. Why didn’t she get God?
• Nate Berkus and Ryan Seacrest are the same person right?
• Kimberly gets the boot this week. Thanks Kimberly, you can stop helping people now.

Oprah’s Reality Show: Oprah’s Big Give

I cannot wait for Oprah’s new reality show to start up, called “Oprah’s Big Give.” I was hoping they’d title it “Oprah’s Big Hips,” but after many letters I sent to ABC requesting this were returned I guess they decided to stick with the original title. Boring. Anyway, I’m not really a big fan of Oprah’s as I feel that people who came from nothing and had to overcome many horrific obstacles in their lives should not be rich later in life. Nope. The only people who should be rich are those that had privileged upbringings without struggle…especially none filled with dirty molestation – but I digress and digest as I am eating whilst I type.

Moving on. I’m pumped about her new show because I KNOW it’s going to chock full of Oprah yelling and repeating herself and then yelling again. And I saw in the preview that John Travolta is making a cameo so I will be sitting by with a beer and some popcorn just to hear Oprah yell, “JOHN TRAVOOOOOOOLTA!” I’m hoping the focus is mainly on Oprah, though, and not the contestants. Actually, if someone could just film Oprah all day long (perhaps by using one of those fancy helmet cameras) I would quit my job and dedicate my life to watching Oprah just live life.

Alas that will not happen, so here’s how the show will go down. Each contestant is given a photo, directions, and $2500. In five days you must change the lives of the needy and less fortunate. What they “don’t” know is that in the end, the person who raises the most money actually wins $1 million. Or as Oprah will probably say, “$1 MILLION DOLLLLAAAAAAAAAARS!.” I can’t freakin’ wait. I’m beside myself with excitement. The only thing that would make this better was if Della Reese was Oprah’s co-host.