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More Mindless Stories on ‘tara reid’

Dec
17

Tara Reid Trades Addictions


Seriously, Tara Reid is a genius. Tara was at the opening of “The Basement” in Australia and I won’t say that she has an eating disorder of any kind, but I will say that bulimia is the new rehab and the old “knocked up un-wed celebrity mother.” Tara Reid is brilliant because she’s apparently taken the opportunity to steal some of Lindsay Lohan’s boring thunder while she is all “clean and sober” and pays homage to all the girls of 2005/2006 that suffered from Lollipop Head Syndrome (LHS). Ahhhh 2005/2006 was such an innocent time when celebrities were only starving themselves and shoving Crest toothbrushes halfway down their throat. They were simpler times really. And, clearly, Tara Reid is trying to bring back 2005/2006 with all of the trucker hats that I guess people are still wearing in Australia?

I only have one thing to say to Tara Reid and her recent weight loss. “Want a Viper? Ya want some money? Like my boooooody? TrimSpa baby!” And we know how that shitshow turned out.

Tara Reid Trades Addictions

Aug
22

Hey! Remember Tara Reid??

A little hurricane isn’t going to ruin Tara Reid’s trip to Mexico. No sir. Where aren’t the paparazzi? Tara continues to be followed around even though she hasn’t done much in the past few years, which is great because that’s my favorite kind of celebrity and what I aspire to be. Tara is actually looking decent as of late, although she definitely isn’t as fun since she gave up the booze. I hope Lindsay is taking notes. No booze = no fun. I mean come on, everyone loves that girl who slurs her words, is all sweaty, and falls down a flight of stairs at a club. Trust me, everyone loves it.
Feb
19

Tara Reid Looks Normal, World Implodes

While it was freezing in Boston this weekend, Tara Reid was sunning it up in Santa Barbara and actually looking normal. While most people are happy that Tara Reid is really turning herself around I find it disappointing. It’s hard for me to be funny when Tara isn’t falling down, drunk, or falling down drunk. I guess it is good to see Tara looking normal again. What happened to that crazy stomach that she use to have? Even that’s gone (insert sad music). Ok, I must go now and find a celebrity who is currently in “train-wreck” mode. I wonder what Britney Spears is up to?
Feb
05

Tara Reid Pounds Sand, Sober?

Tara must really miss “Taradise” and all those beaches that she use to report from. Oh, and by “report from” I really mean get “get trashed and scream into the camera…from.” Poor Tara Reid was at the SuperBowl XLI MarketAmerica Party where she stopped for a quick photo opp and then she fell into a pile of sand. The good news is that once she was down she gave the “thumbs up” sign to let us all know that she is ok. Phewww! That was a close call. I don’t know what we’d do if we lost lost Tara to some quicksand.

Don’t worry though because moments later Tara found out that she and Joey Fatone won “2007 SuperBowl High School Prom King and Prom Queen!” What an honor that must be! Oh, and yes my photoshop skills continue to improve as the days go on. I bet you didn’t even know that they really weren’t wearing those crowns did you? I’m awesome!
Jan
11

Tara Reid Gets Busy With Horses

Tara Reid has been VERY busy lately. I mean, not with working or her career or anything, but with animals. Tara was first spotted yesterday at a horse auction in Australia (no joke) and then later on she was spotted riding some dolphins at Sea World. What an action packed day! Surprisingly she doesn’t look half bad and I don’t believe that she was drunk in any of these pictures, although I’m sure the horses know a bit more than I do.
Anyway, when Tara was riding those dolphins into freedom, she was quoted as saying that it was “one of the most magical moments of my life.” Tara went on to say something that sounded a little crazy to me, but then made sense because she said she was high:
“It’s so funny because in America everyone has dreams of what they want to do. That’s one of the things I’ve always wanted to do in my life and never accomplished and I just did now. I’m on a tour high.”
Uh, yeah Tara we get it, you’re in Australia and you’re from America. Guess what, other people besides Americans have dreams of what they want to do. Jesus no wonder why other countries hate us! I now blame you for the problems that we’re having in Iraq. Nice work.