More Mindless Stories on ‘steve sanders’
Sep
25
25
And You Know the Homeless Are Like, "Eh, I’ll Pass Thanks"
Heidi and Steve Sanders are continuing on with their “We Help People” press tour. This time around they’re scooping mashed potatos and toilet water sundae’s (I’d assume) at the Union Rescue Mission House.
I have a question. Why are Heidi and Steve Sanders wearing white gardening gloves WITH plastic gloves over their gardening gloves? They’re probably afraid they’ll “catch homeless” if they accidentally brush hands with the housing impaired. How come 2 sets of gloves, yet no hairnet? It doesn’t matter that these people typially eat out if dumpsters, I’m sure they don’t want to choke on Heidi’s Barbie hair that’s stapled to her head or Steve Sanders Santa pubes that are glued to his face. They’ve suffered enough. Let them alone.
P.S–> Before you send me hate mail saying I never do anything to help people you’d be right 99% of the time, but I recently donated some cash to Stand Up to Cancer and I did my good deed without a photoshoot. I mean, mainly because no one would want to take my picture, but still….
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Sep
22
22
You Know What? I Don’t Want to See the Slaughtered Cow on the Wall, Why Would I Want to See This?
Unless this is their obituary photo, I don’t want to see it. Heidi and Steve Sanders, from The Hills, are now hanging from the wall at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant, “Cut.” It’s not as promising as it sounds. Their pictures are hanging there, not them themselves. Ugh. Better luck next time. Seriously the last thing I would want to see as I’m stuffing my fat face is Heidi’s chin looking at me or Steve Sanders creepy wife-beater eyes watching my every move. I am, however, pleasantly surprised that Heidi has almost completed her transformation into a cartoon duck. So that’s the upside.
Correct me if I’m wrong (no, don’t) but I believe it was one of Wolfgang Puck’s restaurants that exposed a bunch of celebrities to Hep A. Yes? No? The answer is “yes.” Mmmmm Heidi and Steve Sanders on the wall AND a shot at getting Hep A? When’s my reservation!?
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Sep
17
17
Oh God, Where Do I Go With This One
Look, even I’m not going to make some dumb joke about these kids. IBBB does, in fact, have a heart….contrary to popular belief. I just think that these kids have already suffered enough. To have to sit there and pretend that they’re happy to see Heidi and Steve Sanders is just like adding salt to the wound.
I mean, what kind of example are Heidi and Steve Sanders to these kids anyway? It’s like having Omarosa swing by the burn unit. Why? They could have had Whitney visit the kids as she at least is a good example. She may not be the smartest, but at least she is wholesome, positive, and hard working.
I don’t even know how this was set up. I’m sure Heidi just happened to be at the hospital getting another layer shaved off her chin and added to her rack and then she probably saw some photographers down the hallway and jumped behind the wheelchair. I want to see the security camera tape because I’d bet my life that’s how it went down.
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Sep
15
15
When Did Spencer Start Dating Cindy McCain?
So is this Cindy McCain sub-storyline going to make it into future crapisodes of The Hills? Steve Sanders and Heidi Montard, who literally looks like a Q-tip, walked the gray carpet at the Pink Party in Santa Monica yesterday. Elyse Walker played host to the 4th Annual function that was held in Hangar 8 at the Santa Monica airport. Proceeds to the benefit will go to the Cedars-Sinai Women’s Cancer Research Institute. That’s a mouthful.
Anytip, Heidi is almost unrecognizable. I mean, not to me. I totally know every feature of Q-Tip Montard as I’ve followed her every move from when she walked that fashion show back in Laguna Beach, you know, the one where Dieter and crew tried to raise money for the millionaires who multi-million dollar homes started to slide off the hill during a major storm. Yeah, that one.
Moving on, it also looks like Steve Sanders may have eased up on the Sun-In he sprays on his head and face (for the Santa pubes) and, apparently, he’s back to the Brady perm. Let’s face it, there’s a lot going on with the both of them. A lot.
Aug
11
11
A Two-Headed Montag Monster…..and Heidi’s Mom is Suddenly the New Dina Lohan
I couldn’t decide on what to title this post so I combined them. I own this crap. I get to decide. Anyhills, my worst nightmare has come true (Siamese Montag sisters) at the same time my dream has come true (Darlene Montag is totally the new Dina Lohan!). It’s almost like Hills implosion for me. Heidi Montag, her more than likely douche-bag sister Holly Montag, her MILFless mother, Darlene, and Steve Sanders were all teeth and fake blond hair while they had a little dinner at STK in LA the other night.
I tell ya, a little lighting from below the face really takes years off. With the camera lights on Darlene looks like 25 year old. When the camera lights fade, Darlene is looking more like her horse that lives at Crested Butte. I miss that damn horse.
I know I said the other day that Holly Montag looked gross, but these pictures make me feel differently. I’m confused. I’m in Montag turmoil. At least you can always count on Heidi to be a complete fright-fest. And Steve Sanders with that extra shiny black shirt? Looks like someone raided Darlene’s closet before they went out. And is that a new perm I see, Spencer? Seems like setting it in rollers the night before is really doing the trick.
6 more sleeps until The Hills is back on!
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