More Mindless Stories on ‘snooki from jersey shore’
04
Why Did Snooki’s Makeover Turn Her Into an Asian Extra on Dynasty?
If there’s one thing you know I love it’s Snooki. Snooki for breakfast. Snooki for lunch. Snooki for dinner. Hell, even Snooki for a sensible mid-day snack. This time around Snooki was getting a complete makeover which basically consisted of brushing out her “freakin’ poof” and removing her slut clothes.
Snooki spoke with Inside Edition about being ready, yet nervous, for a quick makeover. Snooki waaaahed, “I can’t even walk out of the house unless I put bronzer on. My hairstyle is called “the poof.” I’m actually 4′9″, but maybe 4′11″ with the poof!”
According to IE, “Celebrity hairstylist Francky L’official brushed out Snooki’s sky-high poof. Then, her heavy bronzer and dark eyeliner and shadow were replaced with much lighter neutrals and Us Weekly’s Fashion Director Sasha Charnin Morrison stripped off the “Jersey shore” and put Snooki in couture.”
31
Snooki Goes to the Grammy Awards
Nope, you’re eyes aren’t deceiving you. That is not Lil Kim on the red carpet at the Grammy’s just now, and it’s not Danny Devito in a purple dress either. That is one Ms. Snooki “Nicole” Polizzi and I have no idea why she gets to go to the Grammy Awards (very early I might add) and I’m stuck here in NYC sitting on my couch and writing about it. Fine, she landed a gig for MTV to be a red carpet correspondent, but still I definitely need to up my “douche bag status” in time for next years Grammy’s.
I have to admit that Snooki looks like she lost a little bit of weight. I mean, don’t get me wrong, when she exhales her dress will likely snap up like a rubber band and expose her “gentlemen greeter” whilst the photographers snap it up…but she still looks decent. Maybe the lack of “poof” makes her look thinner, you know, like when you paint a house a dark color it looks smaller? Yeah, like that.
I’m telling you, without the “freakin’ poof” Snooki is almost looking a little like Christina Aguilera. Maybe we’ll hear a duet from them soon.
Check out some other pictures of Snooki from the 2010 Grammy Awards. Fist pump, fist pump, fist pump.
25
I’ll Take, “Things That Are Taller Than Snooki” For $200
People always ask me how tall is Snooki and you know what I tell them? Google it. That’s what I say. Google it. However, this really got me to thinking, how in the Guidette hell tall is Snooki from Jersey Shore? After that thought, I then thought, “I wonder how many other random things are taller than Snooki” and, sadly, this is what I came up with.
- Snooki stands somewhere around 4′9″ – 4′10″, maybe 4′11″ but that depends on two things: (1) The size of her freakin’ poof and (2) the wind.
- Danny Devito (the father of Snooki in my mind) is taller than Snooki standing at a whopping 5 feet.
- 15 duck phones stacked on top of each other are taller than Snooki quacking at 5′ 1″.
- 10 Dep gel bottles carefully balanced one on top of the other stands stiff at 5′ 4″.
- One official leg lamp from “A Christmas Story” is taller than Snooki by standing sexy at 5′ 5″.
- 34 of Snooki’s “freakin poofs” hair-sprayed together (thanks to ample AquaNet) is taller than Snooki at an outstanding 5′ 8″.
Well there you have it, folks. Don’t say you don’t learn things like math and science when you visit IBBB because, clearly, you do. Studying this Snooki Height Chart is likely to help raise your SAT math scores up to about a 250 so, well, you’re welcome!
19
Brad Ferro, the Dude Who Punched My Little Snooki, Suing MTV?
As if this couldn’t end up anywhere else but Judge Judy. Brad Ferro, the teacher who allegedly snooki-punched Jersey Shore’s Snooki in the Burnt Sienna face, may be suing MTV after he was fired from his Queen’s High School teaching position. My random drunken sources claim while Ferro, 23, did sign the release form for the production company/MTV to show and use his image in any way they see fit, he also may have signed this form while not of sound mind (aka three-sheets to the wind).
As you know, after weeks of promoting the Snooki punch, MTV ended up removing the punch from the actual crapisode of Jersey Shore but, let’s face it, that image has been burned into our minds and runs on a constant loop in slow motion. Isn’t it a little too late from Ferro to sue for defamation of character? Even if it’s not, his best bet is to stop drawing any additional attention to himself…unless it includes him being added to a future cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Dancing With the Stars? Sky could be the limit, although I’m sure Jersey will be his limit.
I always knew that I held a special bond with My Little Snooki and now I finally realized the the punch took place on August 19th, IBBB’s birthday! It’s like all the stars have aligned.
Catch up on all the Jersey Shore recaps before the season finale which airs this coming Thursday, January 21st @ 10pm on MTV.
Let’s Be Facebook Friends! Follow IBBB on the FB.
11
Snooki Puts on Everything She Owns for a Fist Pumping Competition
Originally thinking that her “freakin’ poof” came to life, began to learn, and then started attacking its owner, I soon realized that Jersey Shore’s Snooki was just wearing a hood with some fur whilst on the gel’d carpet at the Opium Nightclub inside the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida on Saturday (1.9.10).
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi put on everything she owned in order to host the night. Yes, she is, in fact, the host of the night. What is the event, you ask? Why it’s a “Fist Pumping” competition, but of course! So how much does Snooki get paid for something like this? Oh, the answer to that would be $10,000. Yes, really.
Snooki is taking a cue from the “Lauren Conrad Mustache of Success” book and making sure that she is milking every last second of fame while she can. Now I personally think that LC’s mustache is a bit thicker, but that could just be because we’re looking at dark hair on pale white skin, versus looking at Snooki’s mustache which is dark hair on orange skin. I believe that’s called an optical illusion.
Also interesting to note is that this fist pumping competition takes place in the same location that Anna Nicole Smith was found dead so, well, good luck with that foreshadowing Snooki, good luck with that.
