This is the Most Ghastly Thing I’ve Ever Heard. It’s Like Something You’d Hear at a Horrid Karaoke Lounge on a Cruise Ship.

Posted by IBBB

Get ready to raise the tight black v-neck to the rafters because Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol after this upcoming season. The judge, who is reportedly paid $36 million a year, made the announcement at the Television Critics Association press tour just yesterday. This all comes on the heels of Ellen DeGeneres taking over Paula Abdul’s spot for the upcoming season. Somewhere digging through a dumpster searching for meth, Paula is surely smiling ear to ear. I mean, partially because of the drugs and partially because of the news of Cowell’s departure.

Dry your tears, however, because this may not be the last we see of Simon. Recent rumors over at TMZ are saying that Cowell has been chatting it up with Paula Abdul about possibly being a judge on the American version of the UK hit show, “X-Factor.” Uh, if that’s the case should they just call the show “American Idol” and we’ll pretend this whole mess never happened?

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Mar
05

Simon Doesn’t Feel Bad For Britney

Posted by IBBB

britney spears, simon cowell

With some stars offering support for Britney Spears as she rides her way through rehab, Simon Cowell of American Idol doesn’t really seem to feel bad for her. In fact, he sorta calls her a spoiled brat. Simon Cowell has recently stated (insert horrible British accent):

“I don’t know what’s going on in Britney’s head but my attitude is I couldn’t care less. She should go back and live with her mum for six months. I went to a deprived part of the world recently… It really opened my eyes. You can feel sorry for yourself over the smallest things, but then you look at the world and you think, ‘I’ve got nothing to complain about.’

“So when I hear about the Robbies and the Britneys going to into rehab, I think, ‘I’ll tell you what rehab is. Go to where I just went, where people are really suffering and then you’ll see just how good your life is.’ I mean, Britney is not working in a coal mine, is she? You are whisked to the studio in a very large limo, you are flown around in private jet, everyone will agree with you and physically making an album is a doddle.”

Well said Simon. You’re right, Britney does not work in a coal mine (nice job offending the people that do) and “yes” I think we would all agree that making an album is a “doodle.” I mean, I actually have no clue what a “doodle” is, but I’m sure it’s what making an album is like.

Paula and Randy couldn’t be reached for comment, but I’d assume it would go something like this:

Randy: “Dog, she’s a dog, dog. I’d tell Britney to get a dog. I mean, I’m sure everyone would agree that making an album is like owning a dog. Thanks for looking out.”

Paula: “Britney, I think you look beautiful tonight with your tattoos and shaved head. You really made it your own sweetie…..” (there would have been more of a quote, but I then assumed that Paula Abdul smelled burnt toast and then fell out of her chair).

Who Said That!?!

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