More Mindless Stories on ‘shiloh’
Jul
24
24
They’re Country Too, Y’all!
Pull over ma’am. License and registration please. Ma’am, why are you sitting on that man’s lap, ma’am? Brad Pitt is ready to pull a bitch fit after this photo had been taken of him letting his little daughter, Shiloh, drive like a bat out of hell on the grounds of their stinky French home.
I mean, I don’t want to say anything but funny how none of the other kids got to drive the car….none of other “non-white” kids. Interesting. Now isn’t that the real issue? Geesh. Maybe Shiloh is driving them to a Klan meeting.
Jan
11
11
Ooops! Shiloh Was an Accident
I am shocked that Saint Angelina Jolie of Nazareth (no relation to Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx) did not plan on having Shiloh, or Shi-Shi as I like to call her. In a recent interview with Hello! Magazine, Saint Angelina Jolie of Nazareth has stated,
“I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant, I’m the one that got knocked up.”
That is sweet as pie. But I mean really Angelina, save that type of talk for Shiloh’s 16th birthday card! The card could read something like this:
My Dearest Shi-Shi,
On this, your 16th birthday, I wanted to express my love for you…even though your father and I never intended on having you. You see, we love adopting children from random-ass countries, as we feel better about ourselves when we are purchasing children as opposed to “birthing” children. Regardless, we are kind of glad that you are our daughter, but we are extremely happy that your other two siblings are loved a little bit more than you. So, Shi-Shi, on your 16th birthday we present to you your very own car. You get the 1985 Oldsmobile Cutless Sierra, while Maddox and Zahara can fight like animals over their Bentley.
Love Sometimes,
Mrs. Jolie-Pitt-Federline
Oct
23
23
Shiloh is the New Blanket
Uh, isn’t it like 115 degrees in India? I may not have kids, but I don’t think you’re supposed to put a wool blanket over a baby when it’s that hot outside. Ok I just checked my “Parenting for Dummies” book and it specifically said that you shouldn’t do that. Oddly enough it also said that armed guards surrounding you and your baby while in India can do permanent psychological damage to a baby. Odd.
You would think that Angelina would know about how bad the heat is since she literally fainted while filming her new movie, “A Mighty Heart.” In fact, it’s reported that she fainted 3 times over the past few days and claimed it was the heat. Well, nothing cools you down quite like being wrapped in a nice warm blanket. Somewhere in the world right now Michael Jackson is hi-fiving his kids (oh, and also dressed like a woman).
