More Mindless Stories on ‘shakira’
Jul
10
10
Shakira Goes Troll Doll
Posted by IBBB
shakira 
Shakira Shakira (that joke never gets old) was “rocking” out at the Live Earth Concert in Germany this past weekend. I don’t get it. I’ve heard a few of Shakira’s songs and I have no idea why she would need to dance like she is in these pictures. Do you really head-bang to “Hips Don’t Lie?” I mean I do, but I’m not normal. I also head-bang to “When the Saint’s Go Marching In.” Do people even say head-bang anymore? Am I 75? Anyway, rumor has it that Shakira will be getting married in the Dominican Republic this coming September. Supposedly fans of Shakira have been waiting for 7 years for Shakira to get married. I have no idea why. I just thought Shakira looked like a Troll Doll, so I ran with it. Good day.
May
18
18
…In Other News…
Posted by IBBB
shakira 
Why is Shakira dressed like she works at the “It’s a Small World” ride in Disney World? She actually is bringing gifts to the “Mazahua Native Community in Mexico City. Seriously, what kind of gifts are those? Is that a basket of clams? Why would this community in Mexico City want clams? As a side note, I think her dress is made out of cray paper? I think she can burst into flames at any minute. That’s danger. In other news…
~ Lindsay the Thief ? ~ BreeBuzznet
~ Is R. Kelly Still Real? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Andrew Dice Clay Can Write ~ CelebritySmack
~ Dita Von Teese Shows It ~ NinjaDude
~ Jenna Fischer Out On Workers Comp? ~ FatBack
~ Pam Forgot Her Pants ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ Angelina Goes for a Swim ~ Yeeeah
~ Heather Locklear and Who?? ~ PopBytes
~ Sarah Silverman Does Maxim ~ POTP
~ Toni Basil is Alive! ~ DListed
~ Jerry in a Bee Costume. Sure. ~ MollyGood
~ Is R. Kelly Still Real? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Andrew Dice Clay Can Write ~ CelebritySmack
~ Dita Von Teese Shows It ~ NinjaDude
~ Jenna Fischer Out On Workers Comp? ~ FatBack
~ Pam Forgot Her Pants ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ Angelina Goes for a Swim ~ Yeeeah
~ Heather Locklear and Who?? ~ PopBytes
~ Sarah Silverman Does Maxim ~ POTP
~ Toni Basil is Alive! ~ DListed
~ Jerry in a Bee Costume. Sure. ~ MollyGood
Apr
06
06
Hey Shakira Shakira, I Have a Question
Posted by IBBB
shakira
Mar
01
01
Beyonce Sings With Kermit the Frog
In a move that would have been pulled by one Miss Tyra Banks, Beyonce wanted to double up her exposure by teaming up with Kermit the Frog/Shakira. Her new nickname will be Shakira the Frog. Beyonce made Shakira the Frog dress and look exactly like her in the video for their new song, “Beautiful Liar.” For me, this is kinda like when Tyra has a whole show just about herself, equipped with Tyra cardboard cutouts, video clips, news footage, etc.
Anyway, if you’ve seen the video I’m sure you’ll agree that it looks like something that cost about $19.95. Wait a minute, I bet they used a Harriet Carter video camera to shoot this! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I just don’t get Shakira. She shouldn’t be a solo performer, she’s more like a group. Her voice changes about 13 times in each song she sings. She’s about 1/2 Kermit the Frog, 1/4 Pee-Wee Herman, and 2/3 Ray Romano. Is my math off? Anyway, you get the point. Seriously as Beyonce is singing, Shakira is in the background saying something and I keep thinking, “why is Kermit the Frog yelling at Beyonce?” I probably need this song to be force fed to me 15 more times before I know if I like it or not, but for now it sounds like cats are being strangled while someone is quickly clapping in the background.
Nov
27
27
Shakira Works at My Bank
Posted by IBBB
shakira 
I’d been wondering what in the hell happened to Shakira. I mean, I know that “Hips Don’t Lie” is still #1 on the Billboard Charts (trust me, it is), but I really hadn’t seen or heard from Shakira in what seems like months. Then after I saw this picture of her from over the weekend I had remembered! Shakira totally works at the bank that I go to. That’s what she’s been up to. I’m actually really happy for her because according to the poster that is framed and hanging in the banks lobby she has just been promoted to “Head Teller.” I think that’s great. She’s already dressing like a business woman from the early 1980’s, so she must be taking her new promotion seriously. I just hope that one day she gets promoted to “drive through” teller. I would love to hear her voice over the microphone.
Moving on, why the hell is she protecting that bag in both pictures? What’s in it? Perhaps she robbed the bank? Perhaps she is trying to hide a bit of the cameltoe that’s trying to peek out? The possibilities are endless. Shakira, let me tell you a little something…none of your employees are going to respect you if you wear business suits that show off the cameltoe. You’ll be demoted to “bank greeter” before you know it!
Moving on, why the hell is she protecting that bag in both pictures? What’s in it? Perhaps she robbed the bank? Perhaps she is trying to hide a bit of the cameltoe that’s trying to peek out? The possibilities are endless. Shakira, let me tell you a little something…none of your employees are going to respect you if you wear business suits that show off the cameltoe. You’ll be demoted to “bank greeter” before you know it!
