More Mindless Stories on ‘samantha ronson’
16
Freddie Kruger Tries to Kill My Little Lohan!
My little Lohan, orangey Lohan, I love to see your horses-mane hair.
Freddie Kruger and Freckly McOrange Freckle were reportedly walk-fighting whilst walking and fighting (hence the name) on the streets of New York City after Freddie Kruger’s sisters fashion show….that Whitney Port also attended. Of course the paparazzi were there to capture each magic moment. While we don’t know exactly what they were saying, I’m going to say the faux-fight went down like this:
Freddie Kruger: I have a “boys-regular” haircut and you have orange tan stains all over you.
Freckly McOrange Freckle: Your Kruger sweater smells like the basement of a church. I’m drunk.
Freddie Kurger: I’m high.
Freckly McOrange Freckle: Let’s be white-trash and fight on the street while we get our picture taken.
Freddie Kruger: I look like I stink like a fish wrapped in a week old newspaper.
Freckly McOrange Freckle: My mom’s a joke.
End scene.
17
Get Ready for the Layup Joke of the Day….
15
Celebrities are Just Like Us! They Can Smoke in the Airport!
The 2 visions of pure beauty, Lindsay No Pants and Samantha Rotten are back from their tour of the cultural country called Miami. Linds and Sam were in Miami because Sam had to DJ (not Tanner) an event, but just 16 hours later they were heading back to Los Angeles. What a treat. Sam, of course, was dressed in her traditional Freddie Kruger sweater, which you know must have ring-around-the-collar by now. And Lindsay sported the same black leggings that must smell like a cat who’s recently been run over by a 16-seat yellow school bus and left for dead on the side of the road during a summer rain storm.
01
Lindsay and Her Little Brother Hit the Beach
I think it’s good that we live in a world where Lindsay Lohan’s little brother can wear a pink bikini on the beach and everyone can be ok with it. I always thought his hair was red, but maybe he dyed it and cut it for the Fall.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
21
Ne-Yo Thinks Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Suck as Bad as He Originally Figured
R&B singer, Ne-Yo, has apologized for thinking that Lindsay Lohan was going to suck (and not in the good way) while he was producing her single “Bossy.” Personally, I had assumed that the share number of freckles covering ones body somehow negatively impacted ones vocal chords, but apparently I was wrong as well. I’m sorry too Lindsay.
05
Oh My God, Lindsay is Totally a Lesbian!
29
When She Gets All Steamed Up Then She’ll Shout. Tip Her Over and Pour Her Out!
Lindsay is a little teapot. She’s a little freckled teapot. She’s a pale little teapot with freckles. And you know, you know, Sam Rotten is totally going to tip her over and pour her out when Linds gets all steamy. Yeah she will. Yeah she will. She’ll pour Lindsay’s tea in her Freddie Kruger hat. Yeah she will. Yeah she will. Ok, I don’t know what that last one meant.
Lindsay Lohan, her paste white legs, her freckles, and Samantha Rotten enjoyed a nice and sunny lunch in NYC at Bar Pitti. After the meal Lindsay and Sam enjoyed coffee and a cigarette. And totally know that Lindsay must have taken a huge freckly dump minutes after the cigarette. The poor patrons at Bar Pitti. Speaking of which, have you have been to Bar Pitti? I’ve been 4 times. Technically I only ate their once, the other 3 times I couldn’t be seated for over 2 hours. Oh, and they don’t accept credit cards…or checks…or seashells. Good luck trying to pay the bill without money. They tend to not like that.
I wish I was at the table next to Lindsay, who was taking a break from filming Ugly Betty, and Sam. I would have just looked at them the whole time and tried to get into their conversation. I would have been like, “Hey, what are you guys talking about? Lesbian stuff?” Or maybe as they were talking I would have just interrupted and been like, “Dina what?” If none of that worked I would have picked up my cell phone and would have been like, “Hey Ali. Yeah, I’m good, how are you? I like the new song. Oh, hold on I have a beep. Hello? Hey Dina, what up!” That totally would have messed with Linds. Then when Linds asked who I was talking to I would just say, “Ugh. Can I just have some privacy please. I’m a person too, you know!” Wow I’m a tool.
18
A Very Special Lohan New York City Party
23
Lindsay Lohan is Sidewalk Camouflage
I don’t know why Lindsay No Pants will never listen to me. She’s always about 2 inches from Freddie Krueger and just doesn’t seem to care that she’s about to get slashed at a moments notice. Anyway, Samantha Rotten and Lindsay No Pants were reunited over the weekend after Lindsay was busy filming more scenes from her upcoming film “Labor Pains” which I hope they change to “Growing Pains” and just hire the actors from the show Growing Pains and call it a day Moving on.
02
Hang on a Second
I didn’t know Samantha Ronson had a twin sister?
29
The Lohan Sisters Need a Bath
The jet-setting Lohan’s arrived in NYC yesterday with their sidekick, Samantha Rotten, and apparently some chick that I’m pretty sure is a Sarah Jessica Parker stand-in. Lindsay and Helen Hunt were even hand-in-hand at one point as the paparazzi followed their stank asses around town.
