More Mindless Stories on ‘roseanne’
I just got off the phone with Roseanne and she would like Ellen DeGeneres to join the strike. Oh, did I say phone? I meant her blog. Easy mix up. Happens all the time. Anyway Roseanne would like Ellen to start striking because she, too, is a writer. Roseanne also misses the mafia. Here’s what she had to say (butchering the English language worse than me):
“hey ellen, you’re a writer, you should strike.. everyone has a contract not just you, that’s the point hun! Support every pro union thing in this country while we still can! This bush shit makes me long for the good old days of the mafia!!! IMPEACH TO PREVENT FURTHER RIPPING OFF OF YOUR MONEY!!!!!”
Ok so I’m not sure what 75% of her message means, but I’m pretty sure she’s making fun of Ellen’s dog.
Roseanne Wants Ellen to Strike
Wow and I thought the way to get a message across to Britney Spears
was to write an open letter to her crotch one day and then to her new lips the next day. Hmmm. I never thought of writing an open letter to her mom. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I’ll never learn. Well leave it to Roseanne (and Beaver) to write a little ditty to Britney’s mom blaming her for everything. I think the letter is award winning, but she could have been a little more effective if she tossed some “y’all” in there. Oh well. Here’s what Roseanne had to say:
The judge is trying to teach you a lesson, shut your mouth and learn it! You are a bad mother, and so is your mother! Get your shit together and take care of your kids!! Your mom needs to lock your spoiled ass in the basement or wherever it is that you cannot get anymore drugs. Stop drinking immediately too! If you are too weak to do that, then you are no better than a crack whore on the street, and your mom should stop pimping your ass and do what mom’s do…lock up your kid, and sit there with her for as long as it takes to get her right!!! Get guards around her to sober her up! SIT WITH YOUR KID, MOM! AFTER YOU AND HER DAD PIMPED HER OUT LIKE JON BENET, SIT THERE WITH HER AND STRAIGHTEN HER OUT…THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! (not even hers, but yours, put pimping out your other daughter on hold til you make your grown one better).
Awesome! Bonus points for tossing in my favorite “Jon Benet.”
Source it Up!!