I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I like Rihanna. I do. I like her songs. I like her accent. I like the clothes she wears that make me try to find where her boobs are hidden like a giant puzzle of “Where’s Waldo.” Rihanna and Jay Z were taping a New Years Eve performance at Rockefeller Center in New York City the other day while the snow fell from the sky. Where else would the snow fall from? I’m not sure why I typed that last sentence or why I’m even typing this one.
Rihanna allegedly sang some of her new songs and then did a New Years rendition of “Umbrella” with Jay Z. Whilst it was snowing I’m not sure why she didn’t have her umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh eh. YES! I love using the Rihanna/Umbrella joke of 2007!
Check out some additional photos of Rihanna from New Years (thanks to my crystal ball) where she looks like she’s a street-walker in mourning. Oh, and I found her boobs too. Suck on it, Waldo!
Uh oh! Someone is gonna have some ’splaining to do! Us Weekly is reporting that Chris Brown has turned himself in connection to a domestic violence criminal threat incident that allegedly went down after that God-forsaken Clive Davis pre-Grammy party the other night. An unidentified woman called 911 and claimed that Chris Brown had attacked her. Police say the woman had visible injuries.
SatanPerez Hilton is claiming that the woman who was assaulted by Chris Brown was, in fact, Rihanna. Yowza, this isn’t a good thing at all. Although I did feel like a real reporter reporting this story. Reports. Reporting. Reported. Report.
Tale as old as time, Beauty and the Beast. Rihanna was showing off her new Pinocchio haircut at the BET Awards red carpet yesterday while in her Beauty and the Beast outfit. It really was a Disney day for Rihanna.
Rihanna was on The View the other day and when asked about her relationship with Chris Brown, Rihanna stated, “We hang out a lot. We are very close. But we are not dating. We are very close, very, very close.” However, Barbara Walters must have been smelling burnt toast because she then asked the difference between dating and how they see their relationship to which Rihanna replied back, “There’s a big difference and I think you know that.”
Whether or not these two are dating makes no difference to me. The point is, kids, is that Rihanna is dressed like a Disney character. That’s all.
I was listening to that little minx, Rihanna, the other day and all of a sudden I got very reminiscent of Beyonce during her “Irreplaceable” days. The song in question is “Take a Bow” by Rihanna. Ok look, it’s catchy (as is crabs) but so was Irreplaceable until you actually listen to the words. Rihanna suffers from what Beyonce had and clearly is “sing dumping” someone. Here are some of the words:
How ’bout a round of applause, standing ovation.
You look so dumb right now, standing outside my house.
Trying to apologize, you’re so ugly when you cry.
Please, just cut it out.
And don’t tell me you’re sorry cuz you’re not.
And baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show, really had me going.
But now it’s time to go, curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining.
But it’s over now.
Go on an take a bow.
Grab your clothes and get gone,
Better hurry up, before the sprinklers come on.
Ok so you get the point. This, like Beyonce sing dumping me during Irreplaceable, really starts to confuse me. Fine, I get that you’re dumping me, but you don’t have to call me ugly just because I’m crying. And I mean, I may look dumb but that’s because I’m standing outside your house, but you’re the one who told me to start the round of applause. I’m standing here and clapping and crying and there’s this curtain closing on me and I’m trying to grab my clothes because the sprinklers are soaking me. How good do you think you would look if you were trying to do all these things at the same time!?
Anyway, I’ve been dumped before but, again, never by being sung to. I really truly think I’d like it. I’d feel better about it and as I’m packing up my crap I’d have something to dance to. It’s a real win-win, in my eyes.
The Interweb is on fire and people are legit losing their shit like Jesus has come back to earth for a little victory tour when a photo of Rihanna and Chris Brown was discovered of them playing in a pool together. Now I don’t really want to write about this, but I feel like since everyone else is talking about it….I should too? It’s kind of like when you’re walking somewhere and everyone is stopped and looking up at the sky…you stop and look up at the sky too just because you don’t want to miss out on whatever they are looking at, but you don’t really see it, but you pretend you do and then once you see it on the actual news later that night you tell people you know that you were on the street and saw it…even though you didn’t. Well, this Rihanna/Chris Brown story is kinda like that for me.
Anyway, Rihanna and Chris Brown were Jamaican Me Crazy in Jamaica over the weekend and spent some time together in a pool, that I can only suspect tests positive for high amounts of piss. Just a thought. Moving on, these two crazy cats arrived in Jamaica after being in Barbados for the Smile Jamaica Africa Unite Bob Marley celebration in which Rihanna performed. I’m not sure if Chris Brown is holding Rihanna or if Rihanna is holding Chris Brown. Either way I added the umbrella with my slick photoshopping skills. You’re welcome.