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Aug
21

So Who Isn’t "With Child?"

It’s baby palooza in the celebrity world these days. While I never care about celebrity children, I figured I’d give you all a quick run down on the baby situation since I am, of course, a credible news source. I figure it this way: If Anne Curry is going to quickly mention it during her Today Show news updates then I should too. Here’s the baby run down:

  • Matt Damon and his wife Luciana just gave birth to a baby girl named Gia. I love this name as it reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of Full House where Steph went to Gia’s “make-out” party and was too afraid to start making out. That didn’t stop Gia. Oh no it didn’t. If Danny didn’t show up at the last minute Gia would have been going through her moms medicine cabinet looking for the morning-after pill. Anyway, Matt Damon’s daughter’s name is Gia.
  • Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn just announced they are expecting their 3rd child, to which the homeless man they announced it to responded, “So do you have any spare change or what?”
  • Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have confirmed they, too, are expecting their second child, although they wouldn’t reveal their due date. Jennifer joked that she wasn’t pregnant, she just had a lot of carbs for breakfast. Ok. Let’s hope this new baby doesn’t have the same sense of humor as Jennifer.
  • Ricky Martin has had twin boys via a surrogate mother a few weeks ago and is “elated” to spend the rest of the year with them out of the spotlight. Once the year is up, expect to see Ricky back in the spotlight the same way he has been in our faces since 1999.

Well folks, that’s the baby wrap up. I’m a little disappointed that I can’t report that Bindi Irwin is pregnant, but what can I say, she’s not on her period yet and boy is she fast.

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Jun
11

Saint Jennifer Lopez Loses at the Parade

Yesterday was the famous “Puerto Rican Day Parade” here in NYC yesterday and you know what that means….Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx would certainly be on a float plugging something that she was doing. J. Glow didn’t disappoint and plugged her movie, “El Cantante” which just happens to be Spanish for, “I Don’t Believe in Acting Classes.” Although, J. Glow got trumped at the parade because Ricky Martin was named “King of the Parade” and took duties as the grand marshal very seriously which consisted of holding two flags at once and smiling. However, don’t feel too bad for Saint Jennifer because she was the grand marshal last year. Lucky her.

So for those of you who don’t know about the Puerto Rican Day Parade, it takes place every year and has been doing so for 50 years. The parade parades (??) up 5th Ave and is greeted by thousands and thousands of Puerto Rican onlookers and tourists. Just think the “Disney Parade,” but if everyone there was Mickey Mouse.