More Mindless Stories on ‘random ramblings’
28
China Claims World’s Fastest Train (Please Re-Read With Sarcastic Overtone and Eye Roll)
Just be lucky the conductor doesn’t have to change lanes. Ugh, China is claiming they have the world’s fastest train. This “missile of inevitable explosive fiery death” can go upwards of 217 miles per hour from Guangzhou and Wuhan. Are those places or appetizers? You know what other Chinese mode of transportation goes upwards of 217 mph? The Fung Wah bus that goes from Boston to New York City. I kid, it only goes 70 mph and it crashes 94.7% of the time between these two cities, so maybe having something like a train hit 217 isn’t the best idea. No joke, I once saw the Fung Wah crashed horizontal IN a toll booth on the highway. Horizontal. Crashed. Toll booth. You do the math.
02
Why Does Facebook Keep Wanting to Turn Me Into “Cartoon John Goodman?”
I never really pay close attention to ads that are on websites, including Facebook, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why Facebook thinks that I want to turn myself into a “Cartoon John Goodman.” Or, if they don’t why are they using John Goodman to sell this example? Really? John Goodman? Personally, I think Rhea Perlman could outsell John Goodman any day.
01
The Tiger Woods Story is Already Turning Into “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ For Me.
I’m already over it and not covering it. That is all. Actually, I just want to say that I bet his wife is really bat-sh*t crazy. Ok that is all.
31
2,100 Accidental Beatings
There’s about 2,100 excuses for black-eyes that kids are going to need to start explaining to their friends! A school in my hometown of Boston (yeah PATS) accidentally sent out 2,100 automated phone messages to parents claiming that their kids had skipped school. Oh, and it gets worse. A first-graders parent called the local newspaper and described the scene as, “It was quite a scene. There were parents who didn’t speak English who didn’t understand.”
Luckily for those particular parents, they typically tend to slap around their kids anyway so at least they can finally have an excuse now! i just hope that the next day was “class picture day.” All the kids with cuts and bruises…it will look like a police line up. Good going Boston! I miss you and your crazy antics!
14
Whores Told to Hide While in London
