More Mindless Stories on ‘random celebrities’

Lisa Love: Forever in Our Hearts

I’m not sure why I titled that like she’s dead when, in fact, Lisa Love is alive and kicking and refusing to show us any teeth whatsoever.  An IBBB reader sent me this touching photo of my old crush from The Hills who “played the role” of Lauren Conrad’s and Whitney Port’s boss at Teen Vogue.  For me, Lisa Loveless was the original Kelly Cutrone but, well, it was time to move on and, so, I did.  I’m typing all of this with a British accent, by the way.  Lisa may be best known for coining the phrase in which she said to LC, “You’ll always be known as the girl who didn’t go to Paris” and, well, she was kinda wrong because to me LC will always be known as the girl who quit The Hills and refused to take care of that pesky mustache.

Anyway, Lisa Love attended “The World in Vogue: The Oscar de la Renta Book Signing” with a man whom I orignally assumed was Leon from “Roseanne,” but apparently is actually Harnish Bowles.  I don’t know what those two words mean.

Why Does Jesse McCartney Always Look Like a Wax Statue? More Importantly, Why Do I Know Who Jesse McCartney Is?!

I don’t have much to say on this except any time I see a photo of Jesse McCartney I always think they’re showing a wax statue at Madame Tussauds…but, sadly, they never are.  And I always thought this kid was like 14, but he’s suffering from a case of the “Lauren Conrad Youth Eye Wrinkles” and a disturbing bout of “Hilary Duff Capped Teeth.”  However, what scares more than any of these things is the fact that I actually know who he is.  I think he sings.  I think he spanks Aubrey O’Day in front of the paparazzi late at night.  I think he’s also someone called “Zac Efron.”  I also think he spends some time in a band where he takes a vow to never put his penis near anyone until he’s married.  Correct me if I’m wrong with any of this, but I. Don’t. Think. I. Am.

Anywax, Jesse McCartney attended “Variety’s 3rd Annual Power Youth Event” in sunny Los Angeles over the weekend.  Los Angeles is in California for those of you who fall in the 4 – 7 years old category who found this blog via Google when your mother was in the other room making lunch.  Oh, and if that’s the case it’s important that you know that Elmo actually typed this.  Then he OD’d.

The Tiger Woods Story is Already Turning Into “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ For Me.

I’m already over it and not covering it.  That is all. Actually, I just want to say that I bet his wife is really bat-sh*t crazy.  Ok that is all.

Katie Couric Drunk Dancing? I’m Officially Switching to the CBS News!

I can finally check #167 off of my Bucket List:  See Pictures of Katie Couric Allegedly Drunk Dancing.  Check!  A site that I’d like to work for, although they’ll have nothing to do with me, have posted these glorious pictures of Katie Couric dancing-up-a-shit-storm on the dance floor, apparently, at the CBS Evening News after-party when she debuted as their new anchor back in 2006. I mean, they almost look like something I would photoshop, but I’ll go with it…

Is it wrong that I’ve printed out all five of these pictures and flip through them like a cartoon-book with a black-light on all whilst listening to “Brick House.”  That’s normal, right?  I’m really torn if I prefer “Action Couric” bent over or “Action Couric” hiking up her skirt.  Hmmm.  Perhaps I’ll go with “Action Couric” getting ready to bust out the “z-snap.” 

Now if Katie could just have a dance-off somewhere in the Middle East, I gaurentee Bin Laden would pop out of his cave for a rendition of “Come on Eileen” or “Cotton-Eye-Joe.”  It’s worth a shot.

Ramona Singer: Let’s Get Ramona on the IBBB More Often

You know who we never discuss enough?  Ramona Singer.  Good old Ramona.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I like her.  I do.  I want to have some beers with her and then go knock over a 7-11.  I think she’d be into that.  I feel like she’d back the car up right through the 7-11 front windows and then I’d toss the Slurpee machine into her trunk and then we’d go back to her NYC mansion and have Slurpee’s and vodka.  Yeah, she’d be like that kind of friend to me.

Anyway, Ramona showed up to the premiere of “New York, I Love You” in New York City the other night.  She’s looking like a hotter version of Kathy Lee Gifford and, well, that’s just all kinds of wrong.  But you know what?  Ramon Singer, I Love You.  Keep looking young and hot and still be a little bit crazy-train because, at the end of the day, that’s what’s important. 

Oh, and I want to dance with her.  Dance and drink Slurpee’s and vodka.  Someone make this happen.