More Mindless Stories on ‘prison’
Aug
24
24
Nicole Richie’s Mugshot From Heaven
So by the time I got around to blogging about it, Nicole Richie checked herself into jail and then was told she’s has served her debt to society just 82 minutes later. So it’s old new by now…even old news for my standards. However I got a kick out of her latest (yes latest) mugshot. Where the hell is the photographer taking this picture from? The ceiling? I picture that the photographer is literally hanging from the ceiling and Nicole is looking up to make her mugshot official. Anyway, Lindsay Lohan (old news) will only be serving 1 day at best for her DUIs, etc. So what’s the messaging here, kids? Feel free to drink, do drugs, and then use your car as a missile as you drive up and down the wrong side of the highway and/or crash into a pole, over the sidewalk, etc and worst case scenario you will only serve a day in jail. No big deal. It’s like a vacation day!
Props to Nicole for adding more beautiful pictures to her unborn child’s baby book. One day she can flip through her baby book with her son/daughter and say, “Now this one was taken when mommy was 5 months pregnant with you an went to jail….” Clearly a Norman Rockwell moment.
Jun
22
22
Paris Hilton: A Brand New Skank
Don’t think that once Paris Hilton exits prison she’ll be going back to her old partying ways. Sadly, we won’t be able to play the favorite IBBB game, “Is That Paris Hilton Ass, Boob, or Stanky Putanky?” anymore. Sad. Very Sad. Paris had a brief prison interview with Ryan Seacrest and claims, “I’m so much more grateful for everything that I have, even just to have a pillow at night or food. You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it. Frankly [I'm] sick of it and I want to use my fame in a good way.”
Now, will Paris give up her skank-ways? I hope not. If I can’t write about Paris whoring around town, I’m not sure what the point of me having this site is. Maybe it turns into a 7-day a week Harriet Carter blog? Let’s hope Lindsay doesn’t get on the straight and narrow or I’m in trouble!
Jun
13
13
Paris is "Hanging In There," Hopefully Not Literally.
Hollywood parents must be beaming with pride this week. First, my personal favorite, Dina Lohan visits her daughter Lindsay in rehab and now Rick and Kathy Hilton visit their daughter Paris in prison. With Father’s Day just around the corner, Rick must feel like he’s already received his gift. According to US Weekly Rick has said that it was “hard” visiting Paris in the slammer and that Paris is “weepy…but doing the best she can…and it hanging in there.” Uh, yeah “hanging in there?” I wouldn’t give Paris any ideas. Wait, or was Rick trying to tell us something? Later as the Hilton’s were leaving their visit with Paris, Kathy Hilton (who kinda seems like a douche bag) was quoted as saying “It is what it is.” Really Kathy? Is it? I thought it “is what it isn’t” or “it was what it wasn’t.” That’s your quote, really? I hope you used those touching words when you finally saw Paris behind the bulletproof glass. She must have felt warm all over. Jun
11
11
Paris is Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs
Did you guys know that Paris was back in the slammer? I wasn’t sure if you had seen the 24 hour news coverage, magazine covers, front pages of every newspaper and the United States, radio discussions, the CNN scroll bar, and the fly-overs. Anyway, there is no doubt in my mind that once Paris gets out she’ll make even more money from this. And the rich get richer. According TMZ, Paris may have dried her tears and stopped freaking out now that she’s back on her meds. Apparently Paris is eating cereal and bread. Oh, and she’s in the psych ward. They even allow visitors, but only two visitors are allowed on Sundays so she chose her sister Nicky and her ex-boyfriend Starvros Niarchos. See, now I would have chosen two entirely different people if I were her. Just to rub it in Lindsay Lohan’s face, I would have chosen Dina Lohan. For my second choice I would have really thrown the American public for a loop and would have chosen the girl who played the original Becky on “Roseanne.” What? Is that not normal?
Jun
07
07
And Paris is Out of Jail
According to my close friends at TMZ (they don’t know me), Paris Hilton has been released from jail early this morning after serving what seems like 12 hours in the slammer. I’m sure in this short period of time Paris has learned a lot, such as:
- How to become someones bitch
- How not to become someones bitch
- Proper hair braiding etiquette (thanks to the girls from MTV’s “Juvies”)
- The difference between the words “shank” and “skank”
- And finally, multiple excuses to use on why you have a black eye such as: I tripped and hit the door knob, I accidentally answered the iron, and (my favorite) dinner was a little late.
Best wishes to you Paris on your freedom. If it is true that you are writing a book, I would just make it a brochure at this point. For the latest and most update information on Paris’ freedom, be sure to come to the source that always has it waiting for you. Uh, yeah not me because I’m busy. I recommend doing a Google search.
