More Mindless Stories on ‘poshtoria’
Apr
30
30
Victoria Beckham Attacked By Ghost Boobs (or Booooooobs!)
It’s been a while that a celebrity has been attacked by ghost boobs, but it looks like Poshtoria is the latest victim. Poshtoria was just getting in to LA from London when the ghost boobs attacker her right in front of all the paparazzi. What are the odds of that happening? In even less interesting Poshtoria news, the Beckham’s are reportedly suing a lookalike couple who got a sports car, jewelry, and a table at a top restaurant after posing as the Beckham’s. I guess the real life Beckham’s feel that their reputation is being damaged by the lookalikes. Uh, I think her reputation is being damaged by showing her boobs to the paparazzi. Actually scratch that (not literally). I think her reputation is improving by showing her boobs to the paparazzi. Check her out on Fox’s new “When Ghost Boobs Attack!”Who Said That!?! and Who Shot Those Ghost Boobs!?!
Apr
23
23
Victoria Beckham Has Combover Cameltoe
It’s time for another installment of “The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars!” Now not all of these celebrity contestants can be winners each time. In this case, Poshtoria is entering in this cameltoe rating system even though she doesn’t have some full-on cameltoe. However, she does suffer from some slight cameltoe AND even sports a combover at the same time! Brilliant. Therefore I am giving Poshtoria one camel, BUT with two humps and even a combover. Yes, clip art does have everything.
Anyway, these photos of Poshtoria were snapped while she was shopping in London over the weekend. Bonus points for the “bullets belt.” Rambo rules.
Apr
18
18
Poshtoria Beckham Wears Bra, Becomes Less Interesting
Poshtoria celebrated her 33rd birthday by wearing a bra and shopping for a video camera. Interesting, yet not so. Looks like Poshtoria took the advice of US Weekly by putting on some type of bra contraption. I think this makes her less interesting. Let’s face it, she’s pretty uninteresting as it is, but at least we could always count on figuring out if we would have 6-more weeks of winter if Poshtoria wasn’t wearing a bra…if ya know what I mean….and I think ya do. What’s by favorite picture, you ask? That would be the one where they’re trying to buy a video camera from the sales guy who’s wearing a Ghost Buster’s t-shirt that says, “No Crackheads.” Yeah, I’d definitely buy something from someone who wore that. I mean, I did buy my car from a guy who sported a Members Only jacket, so I just assume that’s the same thing, but I digress.
Apr
03
03
Victoria Beckham Tans on Skis
Posted by IBBB
poshtoria 
Poshtoria Beckham is the most tanned skiing snowman I have ever seen. Good for her. I’m not sure that you wear a belt with ski-pants, but clearly I don’t ski enough to know proper ski attire etiquette. I think I do know, though, that you don’t wear Santa Claus’s belt. Poshtoria was in the French Alps (Alps is French for “Alps”) skiing up a smileless storm with her brother, father, and son (the holy trinity).I think it’s really hard work to manage to not smile, ever, under any circumstances. Even at the one moment where Poshtoria’s teeth were chattering in the cold, she still managed to block any form of smile from the camera. Between the tan and the snowsuit I bet she could totally glow in the dark.
Mar
30
30
David Beckham Mocks His Wife’s Hairdo
David Beckham wanted to show his wife, Poshtoria, how stupid her haircut was so he went out and got the same exact haircut so she would have to look at it every day too. Brilliant move. Both of them are, in some way, really paying respect to Carol Brady, but that’s a whole different story. David and Poshtoria were at the Sports Industry Awards (2007) the other day. I hope he one for “Girliest Hairdo.” What? That’s a real award.In other David Beckham news, D. Beck is no longer the highest paid soccer player. Ronaldinho, the two-time world player of the year, just scored the $30 million salary. Tough break Beckham. I don’t know how you’re going to live on just $25 million. Good luck. Next time learn how to kick the ball, dumbass.
In other Poshtoria Beckham news, US Weekly has written a nice open letter to Poshtoria requesting that she start wearing a bra. To quote them, “It is obvious to us that the bra may be a foreign concept to you, much like American football, or the good sense to avoid Tom Cruise, so allow us to explain: You’re a 32-year-old woman with perky breasts that apparently like to breathe. But keep shunning that bra and in five years you’ll end up with pendulums hanging off your clavicle that hubby David Beckham might mistake for soccer ball bags.”
Wow you really got her, US Weekly (insert sarcastic overtone here ____)! Actually, thanks for ruining it for the rest of us. If Poshtoria wore a bra all the time, how in the hell would we ever know if there was going to be 6 more weeks of winter? Thanks for nothing.
