Poshtoria awkwardly showed her teeth while recently on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. At least it looked extremely natural. In other news…

~ What Happened to Jennifer Love Hewitt? ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ KFed Has New Girlfriend, World Implodes ~ CelebritySmack
~ Rebecca Romijn Officially Off the Market ~ EvilBeet
~ Fergie is Philosophical ~ AgentBedHead
~ How Raunchy is Raunchy: The Minnillo-Lachey Sex Tape ~ NinjaDude
~ When Blogger Attack and/or Brunch ~ PopBytes
~ VH1 Realized “Skank” Sells ~ FatBack
~ Courtney Love Needs a Bath ~ Yeeeah
~ R. Kelly Creates Another Hilarious Video ~ ASL

Hey creepy! What the hell is she looking at? Why is she looking at me like that. Anyway, Poshtoria and David Beckham skanked up the cover and the insides of W Magazine just in time to promote their new reality tv special that will premiere soon. Personally, I love how she can magically make her arm look “toothpick like” and how she is clearly wearing two sets of underwear. Perhaps she whizzes herself often. Perhaps she’s trying to conceal her penis. One may never know.

The Cruise-Beckham’s were out in full force to show a little support (and a ‘man-crush’ for Tom) for David Beckham and Real Madrid vs. Mallorca. Are the three characters seen above for f’n real? I don’t care how much money you have, why are you wearing that to any type of sporting event. Ever been to the bleachers in Fenway, Poshtoria? Yeah, you’d be thrown into the field with your kid still stuck to you. Sadly, Katie looks the most normal, but it’s doubtful she has any clue where she is or what she is doing. She almost seemed puzzled with the “clapping motion.” Next up is Poshtoria. I’m sure every little kid wants there mommy to be showing up to daddy’s soccer game with her boobs hanging out. And finally, we have saved the best for last. Yes, Tom is wearing what looks like a possible 3 to 4 piece suit to a soccer game. Suit to a soccer game. Suit. Soccer game. Suit. Soccer. I mean he does have a point. How in the hell are you supposed to down some beers and hot dogs if you don’t have your cuff links securely fastened to your bright purple-pressed shirt. And there’s absolutely no way in hell you fully enjoy yourself if you’re not wearing your 5 button suit vest buttoned all the way up. Clearly, they all blend in.
Who Shot This Crew!?!

At the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards (huh?), Poshtoria shows off her new little penis. Come on now Poshtoria, nobody likes a bragger. Seriously? You’re a mother. Where are you pants, or at least an apron that covers your man-penis? Yes, man-penis. Sometimes I need to clarify because if I don’t you could think I meant dog-penis and Poshtoria does not have one of those. Anyway, back to this random award show. Poshtoria was named “Woman of the Year” and “Entrepreneur of the Year.” What an honor. So what was her speech you ask? Brilliance. Here it goes (please insert horrific British accent while reading):

Wait, huh? What does that even mean? Oh, and by “tools” you mean “boobs and a penis” right?

Who Said That!?!