More Mindless Stories on ‘paris hilton’
Jun
06
06
This Time Last Year: Paris Hilton
Happy Friday and welcome back to everyone’s favorite lazy segment called “This Time Last Year.” This Time Last Year will take a brief look at what was going on in the celebrity world…this time last year (go figure). Oh, and also I’m lazy so this is pretty easy to do on a Friday. Here’s what was going on with Paris Hilton going to the slammer this time last year…Well it’s official. Paris Hilton is officially fighting off bitches in prison. Paris, her mom, and her lifeless sister, Nicky, got together and took Paris to jail to turn herself in and start her 23 day sentence. This comes just hours after Paris was at the MTV Movie Awards, which by the way besides the opening with Sara Silverman was horrible. I think Paris sitting through that entire award show was punishment enough. Halfway through I was thinking, why do I care who wins these categories? What do these categories even mean? My God, I’m 65 years old. Anyway, back to Paris. Paris was interviewed during the pre-show by SuChin Pak, awkwardly, and Paris talked about being scared to go to the slammer, but was ready to do her time and wants others to look at her situation and make better decisions in their lives. That’s hot.
Enjoy prison Paris. Become a woman or perhaps even a mother while you’re there. We’ll miss you these next 22 remaining days and look forward to seeing your wonky eye back on television and your bad acting back on the silver screen soon.
Mar
03
03
Mr Miyagi Alive and Well!
Posted by IBBB
paris hilton 
Looky eye, always looky eye! Mr. Miagi of Miyagi-do Karate is alive and kicking and is ready to apparently live the simple life with Paris Hilton. He may have taught Danileson how to do the crane technique, but he’s moving on to bigger and better things such as teaching Paris how to not squint one eye, how to talk in a normal voice that a 26-year old should be talking in, and how to look less like Martha Stewart. If Mr. Miyagi could help Daniel win a major karate match and even lead him to victory in Okinawa, then I’m sure Paris will be in top shape a well.
By the way, Paris is either with Mr. Miyagi or motherhood isn’t really agreeing with Nicole Richie. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, it’s been rumored for a little while that Paris has been having some quality time with some spiritual guru and apparently this is him. To be honest, I like my story that incorporates Mr Miyagi much better. Sweep the leg!
Feb
27
27
Paris Hilton Shoe Shopping Cameltoe
Ah good times. Clearly, it’s time to play everyones favorite game The ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars! You know the rating system, you can be awarded up to 5 camels. Paris Hilton and one of the male versions of The Olsen Twins were out and about doing a little pointless shoe shopping when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Paris was struck down with a case of camelitis. I am awarding Paris 3 out of 5 camels. Originally I was going to give her 2.5 camels, but then I thought, “You know what? Paris’ pants are the color of camels so let’s award her another half camel to make it a whopping 3 camels.” I really thought all that. I have problems. Many problems.
In other Paris Hilton news she is reportedly getting her own reality show again. This time she’s looking for a new friend and will film her challenging journey. The writers strike is over. Do we really need this?
Special thanks goes to Shira from cyberspace who emailed me this photo just to show me the cameltoe. Now that’s dedication to the cause. Thanks Shira! You win nothing.
Nov
26
26
Breaking Paris Hilton News
Posted by IBBB
paris hilton 
Breaking Paris Hilton News: Paris Hilton has now officially had everything in her mouth. What an accomplishment. After Paris’ trip to Shanghai for MTVs Style Gala she stopped by a restaurant to shove some more things down her throat. Paris was later quoted saying about Shanghai that the city “looks like the future.” Wow! It must be awesome to see what the future looks like. Does the future have underwear and celebrity sex tapes? Nevermind, don’t ruin it for me. I’ll just wait it out.No word if Paris was also in China to help pick out Britney’s Chinese twins.
Nov
14
14
Paris Hilton is F’n Stupid
Posted by IBBB
paris hilton 
Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better title then that one. Does Paris Hilton’s t-shirt say “I Heart Hoe Bags and Boys?” I guess it’s good to have self acceptance and, clearly, she is a Hoe Bag…or ho bag…whatever. At this point Paris is a caricature of herself.
Besides being a consistent douche-bag or “bagadouche” as my friend Janine says, Paris Hilton would like to set the record straight that she is not helping raise awareness of the binge-drinking elephants of India. Therefore, Paris Hilton must be in support of drunken elephants. I know I am. I like everything and everyone drunk as a skunk. I see a person, I want them drunk. I see see a dog, I want it drunk. I see a chair, I pour vodka all over it and try to get it drunk. Then I take chair rides. It’s a long story. Regardless, Paris Hilton is a retard. Good day.
