More Mindless Stories on ‘operation sellout’
Feb
01
01
Old Navy Event & IBBB. Never a Good Mix
Gather around kids because it’s time for “Story Time with IBBB.” Pull out the nap mats and pour that 3rd cup of coffee that you typically sneak a little alcohol in. I know you do. I won’t tell. Anyway, I was lucky enough to be invited to this Old Navy event in NYC on Wednesday night. Yeah, I don’t know why either. I’m sorry though because if you’re going to have me show up somewhere with open-bar that’s your own fault.
I had no idea what to expect at this event, but I did hear that some celebrities from the CW would be there. I immediately prayed to my sweet and loving Jesus that it would be Tyra Banks so that I could FINALLY live out my dream of placing her in a headlock and taking a picture. No dice. However, some people from Gossip Girl were there….you know, that chick that had her nose done and she kind of looks like she’s 40, but still kinda hot. Blake Lively? I’m not Googling it. Anyway, she was with that dude from Gossip Girl that looks like Zac Efron’s sister….Chase Crawford. Oh, and Sophia Bush was there. I did not get any pictures of those people as they were roped off in a VIP section that I, clearly, will never be invited into. But, don’t get me wrong and think that after about 9 drinks I didn’t walk right over and try to hop over the rope. Note to self: Security does not enjoy people jumping over the rope.
Next up, Natasha Bedingfield shows up and is ready to perform her songs. Now let me say that the British accent turns my stomach, but it seems to disappear when she sings. I also hate to admit that she did sing live and sounded insanely good. She sang some of her old stuff, her new stuff….and then she closed with “Unwritten” from “The Hills.” Keep in mind that there were only like 150 people at this event (how was I there again?) and I was right up front when she was singing. I made sure to yell out such phrases as, “Talk about Audrina,” “What’s Heidi really like,” and my personal favorite, “Did you meet Lisa Loveless!?” I really know how to class a place up. I also hit “tilt” on the “class-o-meter” when I realized that I was missing out on a wonderful opportunity to snap a photo of the beginning stages of some underdeveloped cameltoe (see photo # 4).
The whole night, DJ AM was there Dj’ing. It was comical watching girls constantly going up to him while he was “scratching.” Do the kids still say “scratching?” Regardless, I’m saying it. He was pretty good about it and even took some pictures with them. I, of course, wanted to ask about his thought process of going from Nicole Richie to Mandy Moore, but I had a moment of self control and didn’t. See, I can be an adult.
Here’s another good story. Remember that Russian kid, Andre, from “America’s Most Smartest Model?” Yeah, well so he was there wearing this insane fur hat. No joke it had measure about 2 feet off his head. It was huge. My friend Kate (person responsible for these pictures) goes up to him say hi (basically she did it for our viewing pleasure only). Yeah, well he completely ignores her as does his douche-bag girlfriend who kinda thought she was a model, but she wasn’t smiling with her eyes so she definitely wasn’t a model. We laughed. Kate really took one for the team and is willing to do anything for a laugh. Brilliant work.
But…my favorite part of the whole entire night was when I saw the girl who was in credit card debt from the episode of “True Life: I Live on Staten Island.” She was just walking around. No one I was with cared in the least, but I thought it was great.
Ok, well that’s all….that’s all I remember. Now get back to work. God bless Old Navy and God bless performance fleece. Mix it up Magic!
Jan
25
25
…In Other News…
Posted by IBBB
operation sellout 
Operation Sellout continues to make strides and go off without a hitch (whatever that means). Yesterday, your favorite dirt-bag blogger (IBBB) got to live out one of his dreams (non-Olsen related) and shoot a commercial! I got to play the main guy in this gum/tv show commercial and got to smile a ton, which I truly felt watching endless episodes of The Hills really helped me out. I mean, clearly, Audrina alone was pure inspiration to show my teeth. I’ll fill you all in with more details, what the commercial is, and when it will start airing (I believe Feb 7th). Let me tell you though, if a national commercial can’t get me in the Harriet Carter catalog, nothing will. I will not give up. I will never give up. Ok enough about me (for now). In other news…
Jan
11
11
IBBB Running the Boston Marathon?
Posted by IBBB
operation sellout 
Yeah, no. IBBB won’t be running the Boston Marathon as I believe that exercise is the “devil’s dance.” But move over robotic Katie Holmes, Kate Scott (brilliantly pictured above) will be running the Boston Marathon and doing it for charity! But wait, it gets better. Kate will be running the marathon and helping IBBB sell out all at the same time! She will, of course, be running in a shirt that will sport the “ImBringingBloggingBack” website right across it. I, of course, will be giving her 14 cents per mile completed for doing so. Kate, an avid IBBB reader, will be my own personal running billboard. How can you help, you ask? Great question. PLEASE donate to Kate’s charity so that she can reach her personal goal of completing the marathon and helping out those less fortunate AND help me continue to sell out. Suck on that Perez!
As Sally Struthers would say, “for the price of a cup of coffee…..” Even if you can only donate $10.00 (you cheap, cheap, cheap bastard) that will even help. Check out Kate’s charity and donation form by clicking on the link below.
Kate Runs the Boston Marathon and Helps IBBB Sell Out! Click Here to Donate!
Good luck Kate. You truly are a complete dirt bag who cares!
Dec
14
14
…In Other News…
Posted by IBBB
operation sellout 
Operation SellOut continues to be paying off as I surprisingly find new ways to sellout. However, this time someone came to me to sellout. Hopefully you will be able to see how this panned out next week. I’ll give you a hint, Harriet Carter better watch out because I’m coming for her next. Have a good week everyone and I’ll see you next week. In other news…
~ Ashlee Simpson the New Yoko Ono? ~ CelebritySmack
~ Commercials in Your Brain? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Wait, Does Oprah “Like Like” Obama? ~ PopBytes
~ Megan Fox Continues to Show a Little ~ FatBack
~ Karolina Kurkova Shows a Little ~ NinjaDude
~ Tony Parker Text Messages ~ POTP
~ ANTM Yaya is Back. Yaya. NoNo. ~ EvilBeet
~ Someone Robbed the Piss Out of Paula ~ Yeeeah
~ Miss The Hills? Walk Down Memory Lane ~ JustinBobby
Nov
07
07
Operation Sellout Update: London. Check!
Posted by IBBB
operation sellout 
Suck it Canada! London loves me! Is that England? Regardless I just got these pictures sent to me via “the email” from Hannah and Ally. They say that they love IBBB and I will forgive them for forgetting the “Im” in ImBringingBloggingBack. Operation sellout is going really well and I’m grateful for Hannah and Ally bringing IBBB overseas. I’m not sure if Hannah and Ally are London streetwalkers or not and, lets face it, it really doesn’t matter. It’s like this site is turning into Elvis status and by “Elvis status” I really mean “getting fat and moments away from a depressing death.” My new favorite London skanks are promising to hunt down the Olsen Sluts if/when they make it to England. God! It’s like I’m bringing a message of peace to England from The United States. We are still at war with England, right?
Watch your fat-ass Perez, IBBB is hot on your trail. You may have been on MTV, but I’m aiming for public access. Perhaps PBS. Either way, it’s none of your business….just watch your back.
Thanks again H and A…now don’t forget to brush your teeth real good as I hear the British are terrified of a tooth brush and toothpaste. Please, let Audrina’s teeth from The Hills be London’s goal.
