More Mindless Stories on ‘operation sellout’
Hello my good people. It’s been minutes since I’ve last asked you to help me sellout. I’m kidding. It’s been seconds. As you know (LuAnn voice) I started up this here blog almost 6 years ago and it’s been my goal ever since to sellout and sellout big time. Yes, I’m as pathetic as ever and, quite possibly, much worse. Well the time is upon (and up on us, all at the same time) as Watch What Happens Live is holding a contest where they choose WWHL (as “the kids” call it) biggest fan to stand behind the bar for an episode or two. Clearly, my life has lead to this road. This long, creepy, and partially dirty road. Either way, I figured after recapping the Real Housewives franchise for what seems like 2 decades they, well, owe me. Plus, I’m quite certain that when I win and get to stand behind the bar on an episode of Watch What Happens Live, they will all clearly fall in love with me and instantly provide me with my own show. I’m pretty sure that’s how people get TV shows anyway so I say sign me up! And, in fact, I have signed myself up but now I need YOUR help. Yeah, I’m talking to you.
You’ve all taken part in a Twitter-Bomb or two, but now I need to you take part in a Form-Fill-Out-Bomb (or F.F.O.B as “no one” calls it). The form takes under 60 seconds to fill out. Please click on the image above or this link right here to get to the Bravo form and suggest me (Patrick Varone) for the bartender gig. Please be sure to fill out your own name and address but in the “Why I’m WWHL’s Biggest Fan” section write a little recommendation about yours truly (that’s me). Yes, this is as horrible as it sounds but I thank you in advance. Once I get chosen I promise to give you all the side-eye on the air. I know. You’re welcome. P.S., one entry per person.
For some crazy reason someone has decided to pay it forward and I am the recipient that and now have my own personal Facebook Group! No joke, I have nothing to do with this group, but am now a member of the “We Want Patrick Varone to Host The Soup!!!“ I’m actually extremely grateful that someone would take the time to do something like this. I also pretty sure this is how you get hired for The Soup…through Facebook Groups. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Oprah tells me to dream big so, well, I’m doing just that. You never know, maybe this will take off. I mean it’s doubtful, but miracles happen every day. So feel free to join this group here and pass it along to all of your friends. Just think, if everyone can get 10 people to join, well, then that’s just math that I can’t even get my mind around. Like 100? Right? Maybe more.
Thank you all! Really.
Click Here to See How IBBB Answered This Question and Feel Free to Leave a Comment on the MTV Blog Demanding that I Be Added to the Cast and/or Get Invited to the Season Premiere and/or Finale and/or I Get Nothing…Whatever
Please note, that there were 3 people who contributed to this. 1. A writer from Spin Magazine. 2. A writer from NY Magazine. 3. IBBB. That’s right Mo’ Fo’s I was good enough. You know those other two writers are pissed I was included. Traded down for them! I will now sit back patiently and wait for the offers to pour in. I will push Best Week Ever to the top of the list. Followed by Chelsea Handler/Chelsea Lately. Followed by probably being knighted by the Queen. Crickets. Crickets. Crickets.
So, be sure to check out The MTV Blog by clicking here and show your love for their site and for my brilliant comments. There will be 3 more crapisodes in the next 3 weeks which I’ve provided my insight to. Stay tuned.
Thanks MTV. You’re Greeeeeeeat!*