More Mindless Stories on ‘nicole richie’

Nicole Richie Got Bored. Yeah That’s It.

For whatever reason the interview with Nicole Richie conducted by Diane Sawyer needs to be in three parts. Clearly, the brilliance that comes out of Nicole’s mouth can’t be captured in just one segment. Regardless, we get to learn a lot about Nicole (insert sarcasm here) which is great! Nicole basically says that she was just bored and that’s what lead to her drug issues. Nicole did a lot of cocaine, which explains her current mental retardation. You know what I did one time when I was bored? I took a nap. Another time I was bored I read a book, which led to a nap. At no point was I sitting around bored and thinking “Hmmm, I should hit the streets and go find some coke.”

Celebrity Skanked Out F’d Up Report Card

A spin-off from everyones favorite game, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars” I am proud to present a new game called, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Skanked Out F’d Up Report Card…to the Stars!” Current messed up celebrities have been chosen, categories have been determined, and hot dog clipart has been discovered. Mix all of that together and add some remedial Microsoft Excel expertise and you’ve got yourself a future award winning game. You also can discover who’s the most skanked out and f’d up celebrity during this current period of time.

• Surprisingly Paris Hilton was much less f’d up and skanked out than I could have ever imagined.
• I was shocked by the fact that Britney hasn’t been busted yet for DUI and that she hasn’t had an alleged eating disorder.
• And the winner is….Lindsay Lohan! Lindsey has achieved more hot dogs than anyone else. What a real honor.

Congratulation Lindsay and thanks to your current arrest for DUI and future sentence that you will probably serve you really put a lot of distance between you and the rest of these skanks. Also, please thank Dina and Michael (mom and dad) as they also helped edge you out over the rest.

Please note, no hot dogs were harmed during the making of this game, although one hot dog went missing and I found it somewhere….near Britney. I just let her keep it.

Nicole Richie With Child?

Everyone seems to be a buzz about Nicole Richie possibly being pregnant. The best part is reading some of the forums where they show a picture of Nicole Richie, like the one above, and then people comment and say, “Yeah she does look like she’s gained some weight.” Really, you think? Yeah she looks like a total fat-ass. So, two things. (1) If she is pregnant, is it possible that her fetus already weighs more than her? (2) I may not be a doctor, even though I am, but I heard a rumor that girls have to be over a certain weight before they can even get their period. No?
Who Shot That!?!

Breaking News: Nicole Richie Still a Stick

Wait, are the cops there to arrest Nicole Richie for being too thin? That would be my first guess, but I hear she had to call the police because there were too many paparazzi following her while she just tried to get a pedicure and manicure. Seriously, she’s a stick-figure. Now I’m not big into stereotypes, but aren’t Asian women typically known for being super thin? Yeah, they all look fat compared to Nicole. No joke, they look like sumo-wrestlers when sitting next to her. I think technically they could use Nicole as the nail file. What? I’m just saying.

Who Shot That Stick!?!

Nicole Richie to Burn in the Pits of Hell

• The ever popular “toothbrush”
• The always handy “finger”
• Prefect throat measurement with a “ruler”
• The gotta puke on the run “pen”

Seriously, is this a joke? Sadly it isn’t. Why would someone listen to Nicole Richie on eating advice? That’s like me giving “nice lessons” to kindergarten kids. It just doesn’t make sense. That’s like having Tyra Banks give “humble lessons.” Ok one more. That’s like Fantasia Barrino giving “smiling lessons.” Yeah, that’s right. Smiling lessons. They exist.

There were so many titles I could have given this post, but let’s face it, “Nicole Richie to Burn in the Pits of Hell” is all encompassing. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll be there too so save the hate mail. Like I said before as long as I can get a tan and an iced coffee every now and then I think hell will be a real hoot. I hope to interview Nicole while I’m there. The tough part will be finding a way to share that interview with all of you while I’m in hell. More than likely I’ll provide instructions on how to contact me via a Ouija board. Someone just remind me.

Who Shot Those Stick!?!