More Mindless Stories on ‘nicole richie’

Are We Doing That Trend Again Where Everyone is Really Skinny?

Meeting of the Lollipop Head Guild.  Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera were all awkward poses on the red carpet at TAO at the Venetian in Vegas for New Years Eve.  Nicole was fielding questions about her new darker hair and Christina was showing off her toothpicksand sporting a new short haircut to boot.  Making a difference, one follicle at a time.

Christina’s new album will be dropping (as “the kids” say) in March 2010 and has a working title of “Light and Darkness.”  I hope she goes back to skank like she did in the “Dirrty” video of yesteryear.  Meanwhile Nicole Richie has been talking up the television project she’s been working on (untitled at this point) and the clothing line she has coming out called “Winter Kate” this Spring. 

So, see, little girls of America?  If you’re stick thin you, too, can have all the success in the world.  Anyone notice how Jessie Simpson doesn’t have a new clothing line or album coming out any time soon?  Just a coincidence?  I think not.

Check out more red carpet photos of Christina and Nicole below.  Toothbrush with extra long handle not included.

Get Your Ass Back to Work Nicole Richie

You best get your lazy ass back to work, Nicole Richie, because the fine readers of Us Weekly have just voted you as the next new mom to get your own reality show. Quite the honor. The people of Us Weekly are selfless and help celebrities make important life decisions day in and day out. Why, just the other day the readers voted that it was not ok to break up with someone via text message. First text message insights and then directly on to world peace!

Wait, Nicole Richie Has a Sister?

Wait, Nicole Richie has a sister? Did we know this? Is this a own fact? Am I the last to have known this? Nicole and her sister, Sophia Richie, spent a little quality time together in Hollywood the other day doing things that sisters typically do such as being followed around by the paparazzi and being famous for nothing. I’m not so convinced that it’s her sister as much as it is Bindi Irwin with some dreadlocks. That little bitch Bindi is relentless. There’s nothing she won’t do for a little extra camera time.

Wait, Nicole Richie Has a Sister?

…In Other News…

Being pregnant must make you cold, even if you’re in LA. Nicole Richie wore her top hat, black leather coat and scarf while grabbing a bite to eat the Real Food Daily Cafe in LA the other day. Los Angeles at the end of August…Brrrrrrrrr. In other news…

~ How ‘Bout Some Britney Ass? ~ AgentBedHead
~ Owen Wilson Likes the Smack? ~ Yeeeah
~ What’s Michael Lohan Up to Now? ~ CelebritySmack
~ Bobby Brown Lives Out of His Car ~ POTP
~ To the Beat of the Rhythm of My Fist ~ Dlisted
~ Jodie Foster in W Magazine ~ PopBytes
~ Keira Knightly Got Wicked Fat ~ DSF
~ Is Lindsay Lohan Partying in Rehab? ~ NinjaDude
~ Dancing With the Stars Cast ~ EvilBeet
~ Alyssa Milano…Still Hairy ~ FatBack
~ Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx Has a New Video ~ MollyGood

Nicole Richie’s Mugshot From Heaven

So by the time I got around to blogging about it, Nicole Richie checked herself into jail and then was told she’s has served her debt to society just 82 minutes later. So it’s old new by now…even old news for my standards. However I got a kick out of her latest (yes latest) mugshot. Where the hell is the photographer taking this picture from? The ceiling? I picture that the photographer is literally hanging from the ceiling and Nicole is looking up to make her mugshot official.

Nicole Richie Got Bored. Yeah That’s It.

For whatever reason the interview with Nicole Richie conducted by Diane Sawyer needs to be in three parts. Clearly, the brilliance that comes out of Nicole’s mouth can’t be captured in just one segment. Regardless, we get to learn a lot about Nicole (insert sarcasm here) which is great! Nicole basically says that she was just bored and that’s what lead to her drug issues. Nicole did a lot of cocaine, which explains her current mental retardation. You know what I did one time when I was bored? I took a nap. Another time I was bored I read a book, which led to a nap. At no point was I sitting around bored and thinking “Hmmm, I should hit the streets and go find some coke.”

Celebrity Skanked Out F’d Up Report Card

A spin-off from everyones favorite game, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Cameltoe Rating System…to the Stars” I am proud to present a new game called, “The ImBringingBloggingBack Celebrity Skanked Out F’d Up Report Card…to the Stars!” Current messed up celebrities have been chosen, categories have been determined, and hot dog clipart has been discovered. Mix all of that together and add some remedial Microsoft Excel expertise and you’ve got yourself a future award winning game. You also can discover who’s the most skanked out and f’d up celebrity during this current period of time.

• Surprisingly Paris Hilton was much less f’d up and skanked out than I could have ever imagined.
• I was shocked by the fact that Britney hasn’t been busted yet for DUI and that she hasn’t had an alleged eating disorder.
• And the winner is….Lindsay Lohan! Lindsey has achieved more hot dogs than anyone else. What a real honor.

Congratulation Lindsay and thanks to your current arrest for DUI and future sentence that you will probably serve you really put a lot of distance between you and the rest of these skanks. Also, please thank Dina and Michael (mom and dad) as they also helped edge you out over the rest.

Please note, no hot dogs were harmed during the making of this game, although one hot dog went missing and I found it somewhere….near Britney. I just let her keep it.

Nicole Richie With Child?

Everyone seems to be a buzz about Nicole Richie possibly being pregnant. The best part is reading some of the forums where they show a picture of Nicole Richie, like the one above, and then people comment and say, “Yeah she does look like she’s gained some weight.” Really, you think? Yeah she looks like a total fat-ass. So, two things. (1) If she is pregnant, is it possible that her fetus already weighs more than her? (2) I may not be a doctor, even though I am, but I heard a rumor that girls have to be over a certain weight before they can even get their period. No?
Who Shot That!?!

Breaking News: Nicole Richie Still a Stick

Wait, are the cops there to arrest Nicole Richie for being too thin? That would be my first guess, but I hear she had to call the police because there were too many paparazzi following her while she just tried to get a pedicure and manicure. Seriously, she’s a stick-figure. Now I’m not big into stereotypes, but aren’t Asian women typically known for being super thin? Yeah, they all look fat compared to Nicole. No joke, they look like sumo-wrestlers when sitting next to her. I think technically they could use Nicole as the nail file. What? I’m just saying.

Who Shot That Stick!?!

Nicole Richie to Burn in the Pits of Hell

• The ever popular “toothbrush”
• The always handy “finger”
• Prefect throat measurement with a “ruler”
• The gotta puke on the run “pen”

Seriously, is this a joke? Sadly it isn’t. Why would someone listen to Nicole Richie on eating advice? That’s like me giving “nice lessons” to kindergarten kids. It just doesn’t make sense. That’s like having Tyra Banks give “humble lessons.” Ok one more. That’s like Fantasia Barrino giving “smiling lessons.” Yeah, that’s right. Smiling lessons. They exist.

There were so many titles I could have given this post, but let’s face it, “Nicole Richie to Burn in the Pits of Hell” is all encompassing. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll be there too so save the hate mail. Like I said before as long as I can get a tan and an iced coffee every now and then I think hell will be a real hoot. I hope to interview Nicole while I’m there. The tough part will be finding a way to share that interview with all of you while I’m in hell. More than likely I’ll provide instructions on how to contact me via a Ouija board. Someone just remind me.

Who Shot Those Stick!?!

Nicole Richie’s Ring Makes Her Look Fat

Alert! Alert! Alert! Nicole Richie may be off the market and I don’t just mean supermarket, I mean market market. Like “singles market.” I don’t even know what that means. I’m tired. There are rumors being blown around like Nicole Richie on a windy day that she is getting engaged to boyfriend Joel Madden of Good Charlotte (no relation to Charlotte Church…I don’t think). Those two crazy kids were spotted at a jewelry store not too long ago and, while Nicole did by a necklace, they also looked at engagement rings. No fast forward to present time (or like 24 hours ago) and Nicole was spotted wearing this ring. Da-da-duuuuun. Seriously, this is the worst news ever. I mean, I don’t mean “bad news,” I mean like most boring news. I only decided to post this story for the following reasons:

• Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke
• Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke
• Ability to incorporate Charlotte Church into a story
• Ability to take my photoshop skills to the next level by “blowing up an image and making the border blue.”
• Ability to make a Nicole Richie weight joke

Who Said This!?!

Is It Wrong When Mischa is the Fat One?

The title for this one was really hard for me. I mean, should I go with, “Is It Wrong When Mischa is the Fat One?” or should I have gone with “3 Bitches on the Beach?” There are just so many tough choices to make in life. Anyway, Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton were enjoying their long walk on the beach in Malibu with Nicole’s dog. By the way, what’s up with the Inspector Gadget hat? It always reminds me of something that Freddy Krueger would wear.

Mischa has had some tough breaks lately. First, her younger sister Britney’d herself into rehab and then shortly later Mischa crashed Nicole Richie’s car into another car. Ok, well not so much a crash as it was a bump, but “crash” just seems better. Mischa had just dropped off Nicole at the tanning salon when she bumped the other car and seemed pissed as she had to pull into a gas station to exchange papers with the other driver. Seriously if I was the other driver and Mischa Barton hit me in my car I would have either fallen out of my car or thrown myself through the windshield. That would have been my 15 minutes of fame. That’s it, the next time I’m in LA I’m just going to drive around all day and wait to be hit.

Who Said That!?! and Who Shot Those Biotches!?!

Is It Just Me or Is Nicole Richie Fat?

I actually would like to applaud Nicole Richie for doing her best “lollipop” impersonation. Wasn’t Nicole working on gaining weight? Maybe it’s the photos from “ParisExposed” of Nicole eating coke off of a plate that made her lose her appetite. Yeeeeah, I’ll go with that. Regardless of what type of lollipop head syndrome (LHS) that Nicole is suffering from, she and Paris spent some time at Mr Chow’s for a little din-din.

Nicole Richie Goes from 10 to 12 Yr Old

Nicole Richie Matches Everything