More Mindless Stories on ‘michael jackson’
18
For 2 People, This is Completely Normal
At some point “Blanket” and his siblings will be having a conversation that will go a little something like this:
“Hey remember when we were little and Daddy Jackson used to make we wear Mardi Gras face masks and pajama pants with a navy-blue suit jacket while he trailed behind sporting a huge umbrella even when it wasn’t raining and usually had a surgical masked strapped to his face that was falling off his, well, face? Yeah, well that’s why I shot up my entire office and am serving 25 consecutive life sentences.”
Michael Jackson and Blanket were caught leaving a medical building in Beverly Hills over the weekend. I wonder how the paparazzi ever spotted them?
15
Hey Kids, Daddy’s Home!
Looks like someone has been upping their diddling game! I think this is a brilliant move. It’s nearly impossible to identify your diddler in a police lineup when you walk the streets wearing a face mask, all black clothes, and a black Freddie Kruger hat. I mean, your diddler could be anybody, really.
23
…In Other News…
Diddlers are really bringing back business casual for the Spring this season. I mean, if you’re going to molest, you might as well dress respectfully. Michael Jackson had just arrived at Heathrow Airport in London yesterday to meet with some major record executives. Hopefully he’ll be back to making awkwardly bad music with insane dance moves that weren’t cool since 1989. In other news…
~ Shameless Plug: Brilliant Interview with Jesse Brune, Reality Star ~ GuessWho
~ Poshtoria Heads to the DMV, Yet Ready For GlamourShots~ DListed
~ Katie Holmes the Porn Star? ~ CelebritySmack
~ Dancing With the Stars is Still On. Who Won? ~ EvilBeet
~ Mischa Barton Smokes Marijuana Cigarettes ~ NinjaDude
~ Avril is a Loser ~ FatBack
~ Celebrities Without Airbrushing ~ PopBytes
~ Eva Longoria Goes Dirty Dancing with Slater ~ POTP
~ Jessica Alba is Looking For a Partner. Yes Please! ~ AgentBedHead
~ Napoleon Dynamite Is a Dad ~ ImNotObsessed
~ What the Hell is Julia Roberts Up To? ~ GabSmash
~ Angelina Jolie’s Man Hands ~ Glunp
~ Doc Martin Ad Campaign See’s Dead People ~ DrunkenStepFather
~ Paris Hilton’s Boobs Like the Bible ~ CityRag
05
Michael Jackson Can Scare You for $3500
“My friends and fans in Japan have been so supportive of me and my family for many, many years. My fans in Japan helped me achieve historic milestones in the music industry.”
No word if he ended his statement with “hee hee” or “shamore!” However I can only assume he tossed in a “Mamma Say, Mamma Sa, Mama Cu Sa.”
26
Jackson Moves In, Vegas Gets Creepier
It looks like Jackson may actually be set to make his comeback. Vegas (baby) entertainer Jeff Beacher has said to US Weekly, “He wants to make his comeback here…Jackson wants this to be his new Neverland.”
Uh, yeah that’s cool because the original Neverland ended up being so successful? I can’t even imagine what this show will be like. Do you think that Jackson wants to relocate to Vegas (baby) because of that old saying, “What happens in Vegas (baby), stays in Vegas (baby)?” Someone should tell him that it doesn’t apply to “diddling.”
