More Mindless Stories on ‘mel gibson’
Somewhere hidden deep in a rusty rotted out dumpster, Lindsay Lohan is breathing a sigh of relief. As we all know by now, Mel Gibson is “having some trouble” with the mother of his child, Oksana Baiul Grigorieva. In fact, this “trouble” has been caught on tape and reviewed by the slampigs (allegedly) over at Radar Online. Here are some tidbits on the type of things that Mel, allegedly, spewed out to Oksana followed by some of my thoughts:
- “You look like a f***ing pig in heat” → Can’t that be taken as compliment? I guess it depends on what your goal for the night is.
- “I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.“ → In today’s hectic fast-paced technologically advanced world we live in, it’s great to have priorities and, clearly, Mel does. You see, he has a lot of things to do. He’s going to be busy burning down Oksana’s house but, like so many of us, he’s looking to get blown as well. I think he has his priorities in order and has completely set expectations letting Oksana know that she’ll blow him first and then, in return, he’ll burn down her house. I think it’s admirable he’s giving her a 15 second running start.
- “…if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.“ → Now that’s a tough one. I’m not sure why Mel thinks that only black people rape. Perhaps he forgot about all the white priests running around out there on a diddling spree? And who travels in “packs” anyway? I suppose the rat pack, but I don’t think that’s what he meant. Nope, just unacceptable racist terminology from an uneducated entitled old man with a receding hairline and alcoholics bloat.
- “You’re an embarrassment to me.“ → Now in Mel’s defense he could have easily been yelling at his television whilst watching a terrible episode of Glee. Motion to strike.
- “How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice.“ → Now Mel’s flip-flopping on the issues here. Is she a pig in heat or a bitch? I mean let’s decide on one crazy label and just stick with it, no? Unless he’s being clear neither Oksana or the American public can follow anything he’s saying. And if by “been so f*cking nice” he means “allowed you to blow me before I burnt your house down” well then I guess he is being nice.
Sadly I don’t think this is the first time I’ve written about a beaver and Jodi Foster in the same blog post. However, it is a first that I’m adding Mel Gibson and a New York park to the mix.
According to drunken reports and photos that kind of look like they may have been photoshopped (but not by me), Mel Gibson is filming his new movie “The Beaver” appropriately directed by Jodi Foster. I don’t get the connection, but you’d be surprised by the amount of photos that come up when you Google Image Search “Jodie Foster and Beaver.” Don’t try this at home, kids. Actually, try it at home…not work.
If you’re a big fan of Helen Hunt Jodie Foster and the beaver then you’ll be happy to know that Jodie will also be appearing in the film as well. I don’t know whose hand is going to be up that beaver more, but all I know is that you couldn’t pay me to smell that puppet. I’m kidding. I’d do it for $5.00. Kidding. I’d do it for $2.00. Kidding. I’d do it for an iced coffee. Kidding, I’d do it for the smell.