More Mindless Stories on ‘matty mc’
Posted by IBBB
, matty mc
Hopefully he fit in his last shirtless run because Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend, Camila Alves, gave birth to their first child, a boy, last night. Camila shot the newborn out of her vagina at 6:22 pm and he weighed 7 lb, 4 oz. While his name hasn’t been named public yet I am throwing in 3 guesses: Chicken, Randy, or Champ. Either way, his middle name will be “Bastard.” I’m thinking these are good guesses.
Matthew McConaughey and his sex partner, Camilla Alves, have confirmed that they are in fact having a bastard child! Matty Mc’s rep has informed Us Weekly that this story is true. Matty Mc has said, himself, and I quote, “My girlfriend Camilla and I made a baby together. It’s 3 months growin’ in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far.”
This actually isn’t a joke. He really said that….like that….in those words. I’d assume Matthew would continue on by telling others, “Well yeeee haw! Me and my special lady have gone on and done it again and are havin’ ourselves a fancy lil offspring. Yeeeeee haw (guns in the air)! Y’all see I dipped my business in Camilla’s naughty bits and next thing we’s know was that she was all pukin’ and cryin’ every mornin’. I strapped her to my roof of my truck and we’s took her to the doc. Doc said, well whatdaya know. Y’alls havin’ a kid. So there we are. Yeeeee haw!”
Seriously this 3-month old fetus already has more money than I’ll ever see in my life and it’s father is Jed Clampett.
Who Claims This?!
Matthew McConaughey Pregnant
While many are writing about Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves because they are now dating, I couldn’t care less. What I want to know is, where in the hell are these two going dressed like that?
Clearly he is going to a yard sale and Camila (Brazilian model) is heading off to the Grammy Awards? Although, I must give bonus point to Matty Mc Skat Kat for bringing his keg-cup with him. Walking up the street any other way than drunk is just plain old stupid and boring. Good for him. Truth be told, these two spent some time together at a friends party and then walked home. At least she wasn’t overdressed for the party.
Matty Mc has been spending some time down under (Australia for those of you who don’t know what that means) filming his new movie, “Fool’s Gold” and also spending time making out with randoms. While there isn’t a name attached to this random drunken chick I do believe that is Tootie from “The Fact’s of Life.” Seriously? Way to keep your cool while hooking up with a celebrity. Nothing says, “this really isn’t a big deal for me” quite like jumping up, wrapping your legs around them, and giving your best “#1″ sign. That is totally what I’m going to do when I finally meet Mandy Moore….or Diane Keaton, whomever comes first. If it happens to be Diane Keaton first I’m going to take off her gloves, wear them myself, and give then “#1″ sign.
Meanwhile back at the random Irish bar these two crazy minx danced it up and sweat it out until about 3am and the left to get some food. Oh and by “food” I mean “head.” Good day.