More Mindless Stories on ‘mary kate olsen’

Don’t Look at Me Like That, My Little Olsen!

Look at her looking at me.  It’s like you can cut the sexual tension with a knife…..a Play-Doh knife because, you know, Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashley-Gibbler-Tanner-Olsen is not old enough to use a “big peoples” knife.  She will be in big trouble, mister!

The indistinguishable Olsen, dressed Fraggle head to dwarf toe in Kelly Cutrone black, hit up the Burberry show during London Fashion Week yesterday.  Since, typically, Olsen’s don’t want to grow, this particular Olsen made sure that someone was following her around with an umbrella as to not get wet.

Now I’m not 100% sure, but I’m 105% certain that this outfit was inspired by the getup that Stephanie Judith Tanner wore when she was trying to sneak out of the house and called herself “Connie Chung.”  You know it, I know it, and she knows it.

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My Mail-Order Olsen Bride Finally Arrived!

They promised me 5-7 business days, but my mail-order Olsen bride actually arrived on my doorstep in 3 business days, which was a refreshing surprise.  I haven’t been able to tell, yet, if this indistinguishable Olsen is alive or dead but, frankly, it doesn’t matter.  We’ve been running lines from some of my favorite Full House episodes and she even let me put her in a shopping carriage and sing “Lollipops and Gummi Bears are My Favorite Treat” 4 times in a row the other day.  She even let’s me bend her thumbs up and says, “You got it, dude” while I clap and squeal with delight.  I love my little Olsen bride.

Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Gibbler-Tanner-Olsen was all “walking corpse” on the red carpet at the 3rd Annual Art of Elysium Gala in Beverly Hills (90210) over the weekend.  She apparently had Ant Becky’s Elvis inspired wedding dress taken in 3 sizes and painted blood onto her lips to really make the entire outfit pop.  I’m actually looking for some ropes around her a la “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

My Own Personal Two-Headed Olsen Monster! Just In Time for the Holidays!

 I do believe in Two-Headed Olsen Monsters!  I do believe in Two-Headed Olsen Monsters! I DO believe!  Indistinguishable Olsen’s were all creeptastic smiles and bug-eyed glares whilst they attended the NYC premiere of “Nine” at the Ziegfeld Theatre last night.  So I’m almost certain that the Olsen Monster on the left snuck into Aunt Becky’s closet and stole her “Wake Up San Francisco” wardrobe and the Olsen Monster on the right glued all of the wigs that John Stamos had to wear while he played Uncle Jesse’s cousin “Stavros” together and made it into a Stavros coat of horror.  But, well, I could be wrong.  Doubtful though.

What ever happen to the cute little Olsen’s?  You remember the cute little Olsen’s, right?  Like the time when Mary-Michele-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen was sitting in a shopping cart and being pushed around the set of Danny Tanner’s 24-hour telethon by DJ while she sang “Lollipops and Gummibears are my favorite treats….”  Imagine that scene with the Olsen Monster on the right in that shopping cart?  Yowza!  It looks like the Olsen Monster on the left should be pushing that shopping cart….with all kinds of junk in it….and talking to herself….and living under a bridge…..and selling her coochie for meth money…and hot dogs!

Anyyougotitdude, check out some more creepy Olsen photos below.  If you print out these pictures and tape them to your wall, the Olsen eyes follow you as you walk by.  I, um, er…uh, I heard that.  I don’t know for sure.  I gotta go.

Uh-Oh! Looks Like Little Michelle Tanner Got Into Aunt Becky’s Stuff Agaaaaain!

An indistinguishable Olsen was all “creepy face” as she attended the Tim Burton Tribute at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City the other night.  If Papouli was still alive and knew that his little Michelle was rummaging around in Aunt Becky’s personal makeup collection (from Walgreens) he would be rolling over in his grave.  Oopa!  On the other hand I think it’s outstanding that in today’s tough economic climate even the Olsen Skanks can show how they’re trying to make the best of these tough times by utilizing Kimmy Gibbler’s old wardrobe.  Recycle and pay it forward.  That’s not only the Olsen Way, it’s the American Way. God bless you Mary-Michelle-Kate-Ashely-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen, bless you.

Is My Little Olsen Sassin’ Me?

Ohhhhhh the Olsen Sluts are pissed!  From the looks of it, it looks like they just knocked over a 7-11.  I bet their bags are filled with hot dogs and Slurpee’s.  Mary-Michelle-Ashley-Kate-Tanner-Gibbler-Olsen and her sister, Shecky Olsen, were all angry looks and side-eye huffs as they made their way through LAX over the weekend.  I like to picture the Olsen’s on a plane.  It makes me happy.  I bet they don’t have to pay for a seat if they sit on someones lap.  If I were on the plane I’d let Shecky Olsen sit on my lap and I’d put my hand up her shirt and turn her into a puppet.  We would, of course, reenact scenes from the Full House episode where Papouli kicked the bucket and Michelle asked Uncle Jesse if it was ok to cry.  It’s not ok, Michelle, it’s not.  You’re not ok.