More Mindless Stories on ‘martha stewart’
Jun
26
26
Paris Hilton is a Free "Woman"
Here-ye! Here-ye! Parents, keep an eye on your kids because Paris Hilton is free to walk the streets again as she has just been released from the most popular prison stay ever. Never has there been more attention of someone leaving a place since Jesus left his tomb three days after his Crucifixion and, let’s face it, Paris is as close to Jesus as you can get.
Some prison workers claim that Paris has lost 10 pounds since she started her prison sentence, which I think is brilliant since she was only there for 23 days. Someone tell Valerie Bertonelli to hang up on “Jenny” and just start a short prison term. People are also saying that Paris is in “good spirits.” The photo above is one of the first of Paris exiting prison. No joke, I think she’s looking more and more like Martha Stewart.
You can check out Paris Hilton on Larry King tomorrow night and I’m sure you can check her out taking advantage of every photo opportunity in the next 24 hours as well. This will consist of Paris driving, stopping to get something to eat, waking up Robertson Blvd, walking into Hyde, walking out of Hyde, having lunch at the Ivy, and at all other “low-key” places.
Dec
19
19
Martha Stewart: Prison, Bitches, & Stern
According to a recent Martha Stewart interview on the Howard Stern show, Martha talked about the many women she had lunch with in prison, who had mustaches and beards, that all had business plans. Wow! Prison seems like a real hoot! Here’s more of the interview:
Martha Stewart: “I don’t have a lot of offers to go out on dates.”
Howard Stern: “I thought there was a point you wanted me.”
Martha: “I did…but then I met you.”
On her brief courtship with Sir Anthony Hopkins:
Howard Stern: “I thought there was a point you wanted me.”
Martha: “I did…but then I met you.”
On her brief courtship with Sir Anthony Hopkins:
Martha: “I wish more men would ask me out, actually.”
Howard: “Men are afraid of you.”
Martha: “I know, that’s the whole problem.”
Howard: “Sir Anthony Hopkins…you dated.”
Martha: “Oh, I loved him, but he was…scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine, I have this beautiful home in Maine…but then I revisited because I saw that movie again, [Silence of the Lambs]. I couldn’t get past the Hannibal thing with him. I couldn’t get past it – do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?”
Howard: “What you bring up is true because I had Linda Blair when she was very young on my show, it was after The Exorcist and she was kind of coming on to me, and I was like ‘That’s the chick who’s possessed.’”
Martha: “I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins but I couldn’t get past the Lecter thing.”
Howard: “Men are afraid of you.”
Martha: “I know, that’s the whole problem.”
Howard: “Sir Anthony Hopkins…you dated.”
Martha: “Oh, I loved him, but he was…scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine, I have this beautiful home in Maine…but then I revisited because I saw that movie again, [Silence of the Lambs]. I couldn’t get past the Hannibal thing with him. I couldn’t get past it – do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?”
Howard: “What you bring up is true because I had Linda Blair when she was very young on my show, it was after The Exorcist and she was kind of coming on to me, and I was like ‘That’s the chick who’s possessed.’”
Martha: “I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins but I couldn’t get past the Lecter thing.”
On her fellow prison inmates asking for dates and business advice:
Martha: “I managed to find a group of women there who were intelligent, had a lot of talk about.”
Howard: “Who came on to you?”
Martha: “Some girls that looked like boys.”
Howard: “What would they say to you?”
Martha: “They would ask me for lunch, a lunch date. They also wanted to learn. I’d have lunch with them. There were girls with mustaches and there were girls with beards. First they’d ask about business. They all had business plans. Everybody in prison has a business plan.”
Howard: “Who came on to you?”
Martha: “Some girls that looked like boys.”
Howard: “What would they say to you?”
Martha: “They would ask me for lunch, a lunch date. They also wanted to learn. I’d have lunch with them. There were girls with mustaches and there were girls with beards. First they’d ask about business. They all had business plans. Everybody in prison has a business plan.”
End scene and fade to black.
