More Mindless Stories on ‘mariah carey’
28
Mariah Allowed to Play Baseball
Mariah threw out the first pitch at Japan’s baseball game between the Yomiuri Giants and the Rakuten Eagles in Tokyo. I’m pretty sure the Japanese baseball fans saw Mariah and assumed the Hello Kitty came to life. I think it’s official that Mariah has become an actual caricature of herself. She’s a complete goon, dressed like a $2 dollar whore (who does $5 dollar sucky sucky) and throws like a girl. In an ironic twist all three pitching poses above are actually 3 of Mariah’s best dance moves. If you edit out the baseball you wouldn’t know if she were throwing a pitch or filming one of her horrific music videos. 
25
Mariah F’s Up on Good Morning America
23
Mariah Celebrates #1 By Dressing 16
Mariah left her NYC apartment the other day dressed like a futuristic farmer in heat (no clue). At what age do you stop dressing like this? I assumed 17, but I could be wrong. Anyway, Mariah has achieved first week sales of 475K, which is an all time high record for Mariah in her first week. Leona Lewis came in a close second with 90K. Ohhh so close. I could have sold more than that. In fact I’m going to start myself up an one of those albums and see how it does. I’ll sing into my tape recorder and ask The Hills to play the song and then I’ll put it on iTunes. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll show you Leona. I’ll show you Mariah. I’ll show all of you! 18
Mariah Isn’t the Whore I Thought She Was
Mariah Carey disappointed me, again. Look, I’ve always assumed she was a pain in the ass and that seems to hold true, but I always thought Mariah was a big slam-pig-whore too. Apparently, she isn’t. Why even go on, you ask? Well, I’m holding out for another Mariah breakdown and I’m sure that increases the chances of her “going to skank.” We’ll see. Fingers crossed.
Anyway, Mariah is on the cover of Allure Magazine and there’s a ridiculous interview inside. The topics Mariah covers is people thinking she’s a ditz, Mariah never having a one-night stand, Mariah having 3 personal assistants, Mariah being Mary Poppins, Mariah having low self esteem, Mariah losing arm fat, and more! Check out a little bit of the non-whorey craziness:
“It’s a dichotomy, I understand. I understand that people think I’m a ditsy moron.”
And don’t let Carey’s short skirts fool you!
“I’m Mary Poppins: I’m what the button-up girls are supposed to be.”
Despite her micro-mini skirt from Saturday Night Live this weekend, she sees herself as
“eternally 12.”
“I’ve always had really low self-esteem, and I still do. What’s weird about that is being onstage, and the love that you get, and the adoration that you feel from your real fans. It’s hard for a partner to compete – just imagine.”
Carey, who’s newest single, “Touch My Body,” is on track to become her 18th No. 1 single — tying her with the Beatles for having the most chart-toppers — also says she’s never had a one-night stand and considers herself a “freakin’ prude.”
Check out the rest Here
25
Mariah is Technically Frolicking
You may remember the picture of Mariah Carey with her boobs to the wind a few weeks ago on the beach, but now even more pictures of Mariah have been released. I believe these are photos of Mariah technically frolicking on the beach. More people should frolic and should say frolic. Anyway, Mariah is looking really good. There are rumors floating around that Mariah dabbles in cocaine everyone once in a while, but I say good for her. If it keeps the weight off then that’s just a diet plan that works for her. Maybe Kirstie Alley wouldn’t have to start up her own diet program if she just got back into coke. Just a thought.
