More Mindless Stories on ‘mariah carey’
May
18
18
Someone is About to Lose Their Job…and Possibly Their Life
Posted by IBBB
mariah carey 
Who DARE force Mariah Carey to hold her own umbrella whilst on the red carpet like she is some wild animal…or a cave person!?!? Not only will someone be losing their job over this, I’m sure, but I’m confident that someone will also be losing their life and my guess is that they will die by a horrific umbrella beating. Visualize Britney with the green umbrella beating the bag out of the SUV a couple years ago, but substitute Mariah for Britney and the green umbrella with a black umbrella….and a lot of butterfly jewelry…and a whole-lotta boobage. See how that works?
Anyglitter, Mariah and her rack trotted the red carpet in Cannes (fitting) at the premiere of her new movie “Little Precious.” There is already some Oscar buzz around Mariah’s role in the movie. Ok, I made that part up. Let’s start a rumor.
Dec
04
04
I’m Confused. Are There 2 Grammy Awards on This Year?
Posted by IBBB
mariah carey 
What happened to television? It seems like all that’s on anymore is reality shows and television specials. Bring back 227 for Christ sakes! Last night I thought the Grammy Awards was on. They weren’t. It was an hour long “live” special in which there were performances by randoms and then they would announce who was nominated for the Grammy Awards in question. Didn’t they used to announce these at like 8 in the morning?
At one point, Mariah Carey came out to sing a Christmas song dressed in 1960’s garb that looked like it was flammable. I’m not used to seeing Mariah dressed in something that isn’t sticking to her back-ass-boobs-vag. It was a nice change of pace, but I was left a little disappointed. Oh, and she, of course, had to toss in that high-pitched scream during her song. Yeah we get it. You can do that. We can’t. Does it need to be in every song? By the way, she missed a bunch of other notes in the song as well. I’m not a singer, but I’ve learned a lot from 5 seasons of American Idol and, well, it was a little pitchy, dog.
I officially shut off my television when, during the song, Mariah started throwing out Teddy Bears into the audience. The way she was holding and throwing them you would have thought they were covered in AIDS. Worst. Ever.
By the way, I’m pretty sure after all this Mariah wasn’t even nominated for a Grammy. Craps for her.
Oct
30
30
Newsworthy Statements from Mariah Carey. Thanks US Weekly!
Posted by IBBB
mariah carey 
Leave it to US Weekly to get the hard hitting entertainment stories. I am sad to report that as of Thursday, October 30th in the year of 2008, Mariah Carey and her husband are still undecided on a Halloween costume. I know. Give me a minute to pick up the pieces of my shattered existence. Although there is a glowing light at the end of this dark tunnel. You see, Mariah and Nick are considering being either sexy firefighters, Egyptians, or chocolate chip cookies. What wonderful choices. How ’bout Mariah just goes as something really spooky….like her actual age. Ohhhh! Stop me if ya heard it before! Tip your waitress. Try the veal! End scene.
Jul
23
23
We Get it Mariah, You Like Pink and Purple…Pink and Purple Slutty Clothes
Posted by IBBB
mariah carey 
The newly married Mariah Carey tied up her boobs, stole a skirt from her Bratz doll, and headed over to TRL to visit “the kids” in the audience and promote the hell out of her album. Sure she looks good, but you know if she wasn’t famous she’d just be that chick at the local city bar that is almost 40 and dressing like that, thinking she looks good, and ends up going home with the 55 yr old dude who probably also dabbles a little in the Mafia and owns a couple of dry cleaners that have slot machines that pay out in the back room. Yeah. That’s totally it.
In other Mariah news, she will be performing at 5th Annual Fashion Rocks concert that combines the love of fashion and music on Sept 5th at Radio City Music Hall. Proceeds of the concert will benefit Stand Up Cancer, a foundation that raises money for cancer research. See how I ended this story on a nice note? I mean, Mariah still looks like a slam-pig whore, but she’s a slam-pig whore that helps people. Technically speaking, that’s the best kind of whore. A helping whore.
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Jun
10
10
A Step Up From Her "Honey" Onesie
Posted by IBBB
mariah carey 
Ok I need to guys to stay with me for a second. Does anyone see a slight resemblance of Mariah to Kathy Lee Gifford with a tan? I’m owning it. I’m sticking with that. Anyway, Mariah Carey was filming new scenes from her next video, “I’ll Be Lovin’ You Long Time.” No really, it’s called that. I can’t wait for Japan to lose their shit over that! They’ll probably be so mad they’ll barely be able to focus on crashing their cars and buying an excessive amount of Hello Kitty crap. Oh I don’t care.
A lot of people have been talking smack about Mariah in her bikini, but I think she looks good and I’ve always had a thing for Kathy Lee, so it’s clearly a win-win for me. I think she’s definitely stepped it up from when she shot her “Honey” video and wore that rubber onesie. Although I’m not totally satisfied until I see at least 4 ribs on my celebrity crushes, but that’s me. Perhaps you only like to see 2 ribs. The point is, we’re all different. On the set of her video was her first husband, Nick Cannon, and I guess that’s news worthy so I decided to share it.
