More Mindless Stories on ‘mariah carey’

Mariah Carey Wanted to Remind You She Has Boobs at the Golden Globes

Similar to knowing that Audrina has teeth, Heidi has a chin, Paula Abdul has meds, Tyra has a high opinion of herself, and Snooki has a tan, Mariah Carey has boobs y’all…and she wants to remind us this every chance she gets.  This time, the chance to remind us was at the 2010 Annual Golden Globes last night on the red carpet.  With her hair slicked back and Nick Cannon holding her umbrella for her whilst she chatted with the press, Mariah Carey was all boobs and “dahhlings” in every mini-interview she gave.

While talking with elf-like Ryan Seacrest, Mariah was called “subtle” as her rack was being held up with some dress material and a little hope.  The singer/actress (yowza) was there to show her support for the cast of “Precious” and hopeful to take part in the an overall win for the Best Dramatic Film (which didn’t happen).  When Ryan Seacrest teased Mariah like a 14 year old school girl about being a little tipsy at some previous award shows, she didn’t miss the opportunity to tell him about her new champagne line that’s out now called, “Angel.”  Of course, she would call it that.  How old does she need to be before she stops liking things like “pink” and “butterflies” and “angels” and “charm bracelets?”

Mariah Carey Drunk is the Best Mariah Carey Personality Yet

I’m really hoping that “drunk celebrities” are the new “dead celebrities” for 2010.  Mariah Carey, who has been rumored to be pregnant consecutively since 1997, was awarded “Best Breakthrough Actress” at the Palm Springs Film Festival for her role in the movie “Precious“  and when she swung up on stage let’s just say that Slurry McSlurrerson entertained me more than that one time she passed out ice cream at TRL and then lapsed into a breakdown the following day.  Oh, allegedly.

Watching, hearing, listening, seeing, experiencing Mariah Carey any other way than drunk is just stupid.  She kinda turned into that girl at the party that’s blind drunk looking out of one eye with her arm around your shoulder and slurring, “I love you.  Comehere Iloveyou.  Comehere.  No! You don’t get it!  Youdon’t get it.  Youdon’tgetit.  No, you don’t loveme. No you…………………………………………………………………………..don’t.  Youdon’t.”  And cue the vomiting and cue her friends carrying her out by her arms and legs.  End scene.

What’s Up With the Mariah Carey “I’m Taking a Dump” Pose Lately?

I’m not sure, really.  There were rumors since 1997 that Mariah Carey is pregnant, but I think it only takes 9-months to shoot out a baby. Simple math explains to me that Mariah has not been pregnant for the entire 12 years.  Anyway, Mariah was all awkward bent-over poses while on the red carpet that the Halo Awards in Washington DC the other day.

As a sidenote, I saw Mariah on Regis and Kelly yesterday and when asked about the talent that is Gabby Sidibe from “Precious”  Mariah spoke of how good of friends they were and then Kelly Ripa asked Mariah how to pronounce Gabby’s last name and Mariah acknowledged that she didn’t know how to say her “friends” last name.  She continued by informing us that she’s not good with names, dates, people’s birthdays, and time.  So basically if given a test, Mariah would have to stay back in 1st Grade.

Mariah Carey Turns On the Christmas Lights and Turns Up the Cameltoe

Mariah Carey was in jolly ole’ England yesterday at the Westfield Shopping Center in London to give a little “pip-pip” and turn on their Christmas lights for them.  Touching.  More importantly, Mariah was turning up her Christmas cameltoe, perhaps a first for the cameltoe society.  Seeing these photos reminded me that we haven’t played the “ImBringingBloggingBack Cameltoe Rating System….to the Stars!”  in a while.  So, here go!

As you know the rules, I can award up to 5 camels.  This time around, IBBB has awared Mariah with 3 out of 5 camels, paritally because we’re in a recession and I’m feeling generous and partly because it appears that her cameltoe may actually be busting her zipper and, well, that deserves a game all of its own.  Check out some of the additional Mariah photos below and see if you can spot a little ghost boobs action!

Mariah is Pregnant With a Butterfly Baby Wearing a Tube Top

Second in line to the official “There’s going to be a ‘Friends’ reunion” rumor, the official “Mariah Carey is with child” rumor has been making its rounds again.  Jeesh, just because an older woman who wears the clothes of a 19 year old Fly Girl and has been prancing around with her boobs falling out and her ass sticking out so you can’t really see her full stomach does NOT mean she’s having a baby. 

I also don’t believe that she’d go to this magazine and say “I’m going to be a mom.”  I believe she’d go to the magazine and say, “Hey lambs I’m carrying a butterfly lamb.  Try it on me!”  She would then do that “scream yell” that she ends every song with that she’s ever sang.

In closing, if Mariah Carey is pregnant, (1) where are the receipts? (2) you know she’s going to name the baby something like “Princess Baby Bottoms” or “Diamonds” or “Precious.” (3) she will still be wearing 12 inch heels while she carts her fat ass around NYC and will also give birth in them…and on them.

Congratulations?