More Mindless Stories on ‘lindsay lohan’

Oh That Lindsay Lohan! She’s Still Turning the Tables on the Paparazzi Like a Beat Down Knock Knock Joke.

Apparently we found exactly where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.  The answer?  West Hollywood, CA.  Riddle solved.  Finally!  Lindsay Lohan, the Dina Lohan of our generation, decided to have some lame fun with the paparazzi who were taking pictures of her by….wait for it……wait for it….wait for it….scrub your freckles……wait for it…..took pictures of the paparazzi.  Oh that Lindsay!  Quite the innovative thinker.

Lindsay, who looks like she leaves a ring around the bath tub, may be heading back to real work soon if E! Online is correct in reporting that she may be teaming up with Lady Gaga for a duet.  Producer Rodney Jerkins told E!, “I can pair them up.  I would love it.  I would love to see what happens.”

Uh.  I’ll tell you what will happen.  Lady Gaga will end up with a drinking and drug problem and will probably grow a freckle body suit and, well, no one needs that.  Not me, not you, not Gaga, not Linds, and certainly not the American public.  Something tells me that Lady Gaga may not agree to this.  I’m thinking we have a better chance of seeing Gaga duet with the ghost of Nell Carter.  In fact, I’m praying for it now.

Lindsay Lohan Looks….Wait For It….Wait For It…..”Decent” at the Golden Globes

I mean sure she was dressed like the person who controls the guillotine in Robin Hood, but Lindsay Lohan actually looked like she wasn’t about to collapse or implode while at the 2010 InStyle Golden Globes after-party in Beverly Hills last night. So, good for her.  She should always wear a hood like ET in disguise.

Channeling her inner Grace Jones (except the orangier version) Lohan was said to be in great spirits and out to celebrate with the winners and losers at the Beverly Hilton Hotel until the wee hours of the morning.  Others in attendance were Sandra Bullock, Cameron Diaz, Robert Downey Jr, and Courtney Cox.

Lindsay Lohan’s Bikini Must Stink Like a BINGO Hall

Lindsay No Pants was feeling easy, breezy, smokey, and beautiful whilst on a yacht (that I’ll assume she’s cleaning to made ends meet) in St Barth’s around New Year’s Eve.  Holding a cigarette over the railing of the boat like a skank in heat, Lindsay tossed her hair back in the  cancer filled wind and posed for a photo opportunity that she would soon post to her Twitter account. 

So what is Lindsay’s New Year resolution you ask (crickets, crickets, crickets)?  Well Linds Tweeted,

“To answer everybody’s question…My new years resolution is to stop letting the lucky few that have my heart, try2constantly tear me down.”  She later tweeted, “2010 is about moving forward, not backwards. Leaving the bad (people, habbits, and negative energy behind) time to make changes-right!?!? ”

Yikes, hopefully she tacked on quitting smoking and stop using so many exclamation points, question marks, and sidewards smiley faces to her future resolutions.

When Did Lindsay and Ali Lohan Turn Into the Olsen Twins?

Like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day, Lindsay Lohan, Ali Lohan, and Ginger Lohan all took part in some holiday family bonding while at the Rangers game in NYC over the weekend.  When I saw the first photo of all three “kids” yelling I assumed they were just around the Lohan family dinner table on Christmas, but then quickly realized that I had to be wrong as I typically picture Dina Lohan doing dances all around the table while spinning her extensions all over the dining room.  The kids would laugh and cheer and Michael Lohan would be hiding right outside the window with a tape recorder, telescopic camera, and a production assistant from Inside Edition.  Well that’s at least how I picture a Lohan family Christmas.

Anyfreckles, when in the F did Linds and Ali turn into the Olsen Twins?  I’ll assume that would make the little brother, Schecky Olsen, yes?

Fun With Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace! Humans Are Creepy.

 That’s right boys, girls, and those who have both a pee pee and a wee wee, it’s time to check in on Lindsay Lohan and see just how she’s doing on  Myspace and, more importantly, how her “fans” are doing.  Why Lohan’s Myspace page isn’t the next location for “To Catch a Predator” is beyond me.  No joke, I think I’m going to track these people down and make a citizens arrest.  Anyfreckles, Lindsay wanted everyone to know that they can follow her on her newer Twitter account.  I learned a lot.  I learned that people like to type the following words a lot: Wut Up LINZ!, HaTeRz, Do U!, LOLZ, and J/K.  I also learned that people are still nuts.  Below are handful of my favorite responses to Lindsay:

~ Yeah Mike, you totally have known Linds for a long time especially because she’s probably tied up in the trunk of your ‘85 Oldsmobile as I type this.  And, you have a point.  Being Myspace friends with someone you don’t really know really is an honor.  You should get down on your knees every day and thank Jesus that someone who is running Lindsay’s Myspace page clicked “accept” to your friend request.  Oh, and you should also untie her and let her out of your trunk.

~ This guy was so creeptastic that I’ve decided to also include his picture.  Hopefully this will save him the time of being lawfully obligated to introduce himself to all of his neighbors.  Something tells me that “Linds” isn’t missing him.  I also fear for Lindsay during her “alone time” with Lorne, especially since he is missin her “*****”, & “***”, & beautiful ****!”  Should I assume the last “****” is “arms?”  Oh wait, I got it.  He should have added “********” – freckles.  Calling the cops, Lorne, calling the cops.

~ Alright apparently we have someone from the KKK here.  It’ nice that they’ve taken their hate to the Myspace world.  Also, why do people just add “…” in between actual letters of words?  I guess it’s because this guy is a natural redhead too and that  i..n rare.  Seriously, is this supposed to get a response from Lindsay?  Like she’s going to write him back and be like, “Oh my God, you’re a natural redhead too?  Wanna come over so we can discuss that?”  Fa….il.

~ Sweet, yet another perv!  I’m sure if this d-bag was 30 years younger he would have a chance with Lindsay.  And I’m sure she would accept all your love and “kiss” too.  And what “good work” should Lindsay be keeping up?  Not falling down?  Even spray-tan blending?  Tweeting? I’m confused. 

~ Do people just blindly open up the dictionary, point to parts of words, and then just start typing?  What does any of this even mean? Does it really take that much more time to type in the full word?  I mean, in this case it still wouldn’t make any sort of sense, but at least it would show the effort.  “An 4 twits mak a flok?”  Huh?  Is that some kind of Al Qaeda message to signal Jihad?