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More Mindless Stories on ‘kirstie alley’

Jan
10

Kirstie Alley Ups Her Street Cred

Click Here To Watch The Commercial
Hysterical! So has anyone seen the latest and great Kirstie Alley/Jenny Craig Commercial? Yeah, so I was watching a little Tivo and wasn’t really paying much attention as I was on the InterWeb when all of a sudden I started thinking, “Wait, is Kirstie Alley talking like a white girl who’s trying to add a little “flavor” to her speech?” Awesome! So, I hit rewind on my Tivo and low and behold, “hell to the yes” Kirstie still thinks she’s on Oprah. You know how Oprah talks all “white” when she is on her show except when there is a black person on her show and the she gets all “ohhh child!” Yeah, same thing. Kirstie has actually been quoted saying the following things:
  • No Girl!
  • Way!
  • Snap!

Oh yes, all brilliant sayings. Kirstie even does the “talk to the hand” motion and then does some type of “z snap.” I mean, I don’t want to oversell this commercial, but it is BRILLIANT! Look, I don’t need Jenny Craig, but I’ll totally call her if Kirstie answers the phone and talks to me like that. You Go Girl!

Nov
03

Kirstie Alley to Scare Oprah Audience

It’s almost time to go blind ladies and gentlemen! Kirstie Alley will be living up to her end of the bargain and appearing on Oprah this coming Monday in a bikini. Yes! Or no! Last year when she was on Oprah she said that in one year she would be “bikini ready” and thought of it as an experiment. For some reason Oprah agreed to this mess and the show will air soon.

Alley has said, “The most important reason I want to wear a bikini on Oprah, however, is because if I, a 55-year-old woman, can look even halfway decent, imagine how all of you could look in a bikini. Hell, I’ll never look like Giselle, I never did! But maybe close to Bridget Jones or a Dove girl or something that is just fine and healthy and happy, with no surgery, no lipo and no drugs – that’s saying something!”

Yeah, I don’t know if this is the best idea she’s ever had. What if she looks like shit? Don’t you think people will be like, oh no Jenny Craig totally doesn’t work!? Maybe, if anything, Oprah will give her a car or something. Hell, maybe Oprah and Gayle will get in bikini’s and the world can officially end.

Who Said That!?!