More Mindless Stories on ‘kelly rowland’
Beyonce? Are the Friends really friends? Dust off your “Say My Name” single because Destiny’s Child is together again. Sure they’re not making a new album or anything, but they did come together for Kelly Rowland’s 28th birthday at Opera in LA the other night. I’m not surprised that “The Other One” made it to the party, but am a little shocked that Beyonce took time out of her schedule to sing Happy Birthday to Kelly. I’m sure Beyonce started out by singing Happy Birthday, but then turned it into a mix of “At Last,” “Single Ladies,” and “If I Were a Boy.” Then I’m sure they handed Beyonce and award at the party and offered her a movie role to play another “famous woman in history” so that she can finally win that Oscar that she’s been chasing since her days as Foxy Cleopatra in Austin Powers. I’ll take a breath now.
“This current spate of reunions has given us ideas. Despite what people say we are all still really close. A couple of weeks ago Beyonce did a show in Los Angeles and asked me and Michelle (Williams) to join her on stage for Survivor. It was a real tearjerker. The fans were crying and going nuts. I’d definitely like us to do more stuff like that. As ever, Beyonce and I will spend Christmas Day together. It will be a real family affair.
Yes, Kelly, you will be joining Beyonce for Christmas Day, but I would double check your plans because I believe that Beyonce has hired you for service. Probably clean up and food prep. Eh, it’s not that bad. At least you’ll get to work in a mansion and rub elbows and mustaches with Tina Knowles.
I’ll be waiting for the announcement of a Destiny’s Child reunion. In honor of that I will play “Say My Name, Say My Name” on repeat in my CD player and will sing “Bootylicious” to every fatass that I see on the street. You’re welcome Kelly, you’re welcome.
Seeing pictures of Kelly Rowland got me to thinking about a bunch of different things. First off, I thought about how much I missed Destiny’s Child singing about their fat asses, breaking their lease so they can’t move, it’s 11:30 and the party’s jumpin’ jumpin’, and singing no no no no no when it’s really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. I realized that other members of Destiny’s Child on their own really bore me. To me, they’re kinda like a sober Lindsay Lohan. Pointless. Then I got to thinking how Kelly Rowland masters the spandex unitard, yes “unitard” without showing a glimpse of the cameltoe. That really disappoints me. Now if that was Beyonce in the unitard it would have been so tight I would have been able to tell what day of her period she was on. What?
Anyway, Kelly Rowland was “in concert” in London singing her greatest hits such as…..uh…and her other huge song…er….and then she closed with…umm. I would have been fine with her singing “Say My Name” on repeat. I miss Destiny’s Child. They better get their asses back in that recording studio. My iPod is missing them.