More Mindless Stories on ‘kelly cutrone’

Let’s Go Meet Kelly Cutrone at Her New York City Book Signing!

Blessed Mother Kelly “Kiki” Cutrone will, literally, be about 3 stops on the A Express Train from my apartment in NYC and assuming all restraining orders are null and void in the new year I may just go and see her.   You see, My Little Kiki Cutrone will be holding a book signing on February 2nd at 7pm at the Barnes & Noble in Lincoln Center for her new book, “If You Have to Cry…Go Outside.”

Is this something that I should live blog?  Is there an after-party I need to know about?  Do I wind up in prison if I show up to this?  I’m not sure of the rules.  All I know is that Kell on Earth starts up on Feb 1st on Bravo and then Kelly Cutrone is signing books the next day just minutes from my apartment.  Should I invite her over for a beer?  A 30 pack?!  It’s all coming together now!  Maybe she’ll finally want to add me to her new show where I just follow her around all day giving her hugs and laughing at everything she says?  Maybe she’ll put me in a headlock and we’ll take a picture?  Sky is the limit.

If I can drag someone to go with me I just may have all my dreams come true.  Oh, and by “my dreams” I really mean “Kelly’s nightmares.”

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My Little Kelly Cutrone’s Night on the Town

I mean it’s like she won’t ever invite me to anything!  Blessed Mother Kelly Cutrone made a public appearance and showed up all smiles to the “Objects of Life” opening at the Robert Miller Gallery in New York City last night.  Braving the frigid temperatures and howling winds, my little Kiki Cutrone sported her black hood and multi-layered black clothing to keep warm.  Soon thereafter we got a little smile from the Kikinator 3000.  Other celebrities in attendance were Jessica Lange, Michael Stipe, Calvin Klein, Patti Smith, and Not Me.  So, well, thanks for the invite.

As popular as Kelly is from her kick-arse career and her time spent as the boss from the heavens on The Hills and The City, Kiko is going to blow up even more when her new reality show, Kell on Earth, begins airing on Bravo on Feb 1st.  That’s someone else who won’t hire me.  Bravo.  Geesh.  I mean Oprah tells me to dream big, but I’m having a hard time believing her!

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Kelly Cutrone in, “The Cunty Mouse and The City Mouse”

Gather around your nap mats, boys and girls (and those with both a pee-pee and a wee-wee) because it is story time with IBBB.  Let us mix my favorite things:  Golden Books and Kelly Cutrone.  Enjoy and rest your eyes if you’d like.  I’ll wake you when it’s over.

Ok, eyes open everyone.  Now get back to work.

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Reason #6,639 Why I Love Kelly Cutrone and Want to Split a 30 Pack With Her

I don’t care that you’re all probably getting sick of my obsession with all things Kelly “Kiki” Cutrone.  I may start calling her Kiki.  I’m not sure yet.  Anyonlywearblack, while performing my daily rituals which consist of saying my prayers, thinking of new ways to sellout, trying to figure out why in the hell my teeth are so damn white, looking for my Chapstick, and searching for new video clips of Kiki Cutrone….I found this quick clip, in which we get to see Kiki enjoying some animation poking fun at herself, Lauren, and Stephanie Pratt.  Hearing Kiki squeal with delight whilst watching this clip has given me hope that she reads my “The City Recaps” and beams with pride over my writing and jokes.  One day I will split a 30 pack of Coors Light with Kiki Cutrone and we will video tape it and post it on Youtube.  Actually, I’m asking Santa for that to happen this Christmas.

Speaking of cartoon Cutrone, check out my own cartoon of Kiki Cutrone.

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Cartoon Cutrone: IBBB’s Animated Daydream With Kelly Cutrone

For me, this is my own personal “Kell on Earth.”  See how fun I would be if I were part of the show!

THE END!

Thoughts?  Besides me being clinically insane….more cartoons or less?

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Kelly Cutrone Launches an F-Bomb on Fox News. Yes, It’s Possible That My Love For Her Has Grown Stronger.

Is it just me or is Kelly Cutrone taking over the world?  Thank Santa Christ because everywhere I look, there she is.  Perhaps it’s just me stalking her.  Hard to tell.  Anyway, IBBB has legit received over 36 emails yesterday with some form of Kelly Cutrone information.  From “Kell on Earth” airing on Feb 1st on Bravo, to Kelly Cutrone recapping episodes of The City on MTV, so this fine gem of Kelly Cutrone say the F-word live on Good Day New York. Somehow I’ve become your one-stop-shop for all things Cutrone.  Anyway my favorite part is at the end when she just yells out, “Whoa there you go!” after she drops the F-bomb. I couldn’t love someone I don’t personally know any more than I do.  I could try, but I would fail.

*Special thanks to PantyLinePress for the additional heads up on this

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So is Kelly Cutrone on a Meth Binge?

I may have mentioned once or thrice that not only do I want to knock over a 7-11 with Kelly Cutrone, but I also want to mug an albino midget with turrets with her and spoon until the cows come home.  Normal?  Sure. 

Anycrap, I found this gem of a clip of Kelly Cutrone at London Fashion Week and I’m almost certain she is in a meth-induced rage.  I’m obviously kidding, but am really hoping that’s what it is.  The clip is almost 7 minutes long so if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, let me break it down into some high-level magical bullet points for you.  We learn from Kelly that….

•  Disney steals you by the age of 2.
• Kelly got married twice, then divorced, then got pregnant, then got white furniture.  Hmmph. Ok.
• Kelly talks about Christianity and says, “Look at Mary.  She gets pregnant and she doesn’t even get to get f*cked.”  Ruh-roh!  Jesus Claus and Santa Christ aren’t going to like that one!
• Kelly also talks about “Other fun advice, like how to use an anal probe.”  Kelly says she’ll be the one to tell you because “mom” is not going to tell you which are the best ones.  Oh that Kel.  So helpful.  Such a pistol.
• We learn that Kelly is 43, she wears no make-up, wears no make-up on television, and is mean on TV, but wants to help “these girls” out.
• There are 4 things that Kelly really does want to do: (1) Teach young woman because she loves them. (2) Use everyone she knows to raise money for people who need it. (3) Get 15,000 people to carry white flags in Central Park to represent the 15,000 homeless kids that live in New York City. (4) Go to India to teach young women how to sew.
• Perhaps the best thing that Kelly talks about is replacing Fashion Week by having people spend that same amount of time and energy doing things that actually matter in the world.

Kelly may get a lot of crap on TV, but you have to admit she is pretty genius and down to earth.  I would like to be the offical blogger of Kelly Cutrone.  Someone make that happen.

Our pal, Kel, will soon be appearing in her very own reality show,  “Kell on Earth” sometime soon, but most importantly she will have a new book out in March 2010 titled, “If You Have to Cry, Go Outside.”  Seriously, I think I just did Shasta McNasty in my pants, I was so excited.  I’m sure her follow up book will be something titled, “If You Have to Put Out Your Cigarette, Do It on My Forehead.”  Here’s to hoping.

Kell on Earth. Can’t Top That. Just Can’t.

And on the 7th day, God rested.  And then on the 8th day, He woke up and created Kelly Cutrone.  I bet you guys didn’t know that whole “8th day” thing was in part two of the Bible, which I believe was called, “The Bible Part II: Electric Boogaloo.”  Anywednesdayadamslookalike, my prayers have been answered because The Hills’ own Kelly Cutrone has been given her very own reality show that will premiere on Bravo. 

Now, I don’t want to say she’s getting  her own show because of my constant prayers, letter writing campaigns, and blog posts, but I kinda think it’s because of my constant prayers, letter writing campaigns, and blog posts.  Kelly’s new show will be called, “Kell on Earth,” which I think is pretty fitting considering I created the above Cutrone image months ago for a Hills recap. 

“Kell on Earth” will follow Kelly Cutrone running her company, Pubic Revolution, and balancing being a single mother.  How she’s not married is beyond me. 

As a certified tool bag (CTB) I will, of course, be recapping the absolute urine out of this show.  Stay tuned.

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