More Mindless Stories on ‘kelly clarkson’
Kelly Clarkson is one wild and crazy SOB. Get this. Once, while in Amsterdam, Kelly tried a…wait for it….wait for it…..wait for it….cookie that was laced with marijuana. FINALLY a logical reason for the fat ass. What? It’s medical. Now don’t jump ship yet you die-hard Kelly Clarkson fans. Little Kelly only tried this one time because it was legal in Amsterdam and insists that she has never done it again. So kids, what’s the big life lesson that Kelly is trying to teach? It’s ok to do anything in any country as long it’s legal. I think in some countries it’s ok to have sex with chickens. Go have fun kids! Gobble Gobble!
Kelly Clarkson, famed actress of award winning movie “From Justin to Kelly” and winner of American Idol Season 1, is the latest celebrity to admit to having an eating disorder back in the day. It appears that Kelly was bulimic for a short period of time, although I think the official medical term is “EatAndPukeitis.” Apparently when Kelly was in high-school she didn’t get the big role in her high-school musical and told CosmoGirl Magazine, “I thought…If I came back and I’m cuter and thinner…then I’ll get the role. One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarrassed. I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it.”
Really? Cold turkey? Are you sure you just didn’t have the stomach flu that day and now you’re using that story to help sell your failing album? I’m just assuming. Since Kelly’s album isn’t doing as well as everyone would like, expect to see Kelly thinner than ever in the coming months, perhaps due to her “cold turkey” diet.
Posted by IBBB
When did Kelly Clarkson become a mother?
Oh, and by “mother” I mean “the old Italian lady who goes to the beach, steps into the water just up to her ankles, and then bends down a bit and splashes the water on her arms like she was taking a bath.” Yeah, when did she become that lady? Kelly Clarkson remains completely unsexy on the beach in a long black dress as she and her friends vacation in Hawaii. Why the dress? Never mind, maybe she can’t afford a bathing suit. I think those things are really expensive.
Posted by IBBB
I’ve said before that Kelly Clarkson is angry, has mom hair, has mom ass, and now I can add something new to the list. Kelly Clarkson is Sally Field (who also happens to be a mom).
As a side note, in other breaking Kelly Clarkson news, she has enlisted Mike Watts to help her out with her upcoming 3rd album. With the help of Watts, there are sure to be a bunch of angry songs in which Kelly can yell at all of us, tell us she’s moving on, she’s independent, and make us all feel bad about ourselves…well the guys at least.
Posted by IBBB
…meaning, she has your mother’s haircut….literally. Go check on your mother and see if she is missing her hair. Kelly Clarkson was at the “CMT Giants Honoring Reba McEntire” last night and was performing for Reba. Honestly, I think she was mocking Reba a bit by making fun of the haircut that Reba had in 1991. I believe in order to get this particular haircut a few things need to happen (1) you must be a minimum of 43 years old (2) you must first start with a home perm (3) you need approximately 1.5 cans of Aqua Net (4) you must use the curling iron for 3 sessions of 45 minutes (5) you must have children and (6) you must be a newscaster. Is Kelly Clarkson trying to tell us something? I mean she already has the “mom hips” and “mom ass” and she is literally seconds away from rocking the cameltoe. If she lifted up that shirt (??) about 2 centimeters she would be full on cameltoe. Well, just another reason why country music and anything to do with Reba McEntire frightens me.