I Can’t Not See Kristen Wiig

snatchy-lee-gifford

I can’t.  Every time I see Snatchy Leak Kissit and Honda Codpiece all I can think of is Kristen Wiig and my love for her.  Did I ever tell you that time I ran into her and what I said?  Oh, of course I did.  Anyway, Snatchy Leak and Honda were all creepy smiles at the 9th Annual Woman Who Care luncheon held at Cipriani in NYC.  I’m not really sure what that is, why a luncheon is needed, and I know you’re not here for that anyway. I just wanted to test out my new nicknames for Kathy Lee and Hoda and, well, I think I like them.  I hope I see more of them so I can use them and use them and use them until even I get sick of typing them.

In conclusion of this essay, is it just me or does Kathy Lee look like Ramona from Real Housewives of New York City?  Or maybe Ramona looks like Kathy Lee?  I’m not sure who’s older and I’m not so good with “the math.”  The only thing separating them is the good old fashion “crazy eyes.”  This got me to thinking, Kristin Wiig could and should start working on her Ramona impression.  I give that idea for free.  The next one I’m charging.

Kathy Lee Impressions Still Crack Me Up

Every once in a while, SNL pleases me. This was one of those times.

Kathy Lee Gifford at “The Ivy” Because, You Know, That Was Expected?

If you paid me $10,000 to guess who was at The Ivy yesterday and gave me 45,839 guesses, I would have never guessed Kathy Lee Gifford. I’m so pissed. I’m going to be in LA this time next week and like the celebrity stalker I am I will, of course, sit my fat ass down at the over-priced, under-tasty, restaurant. Why couldn’t Snatchy Lee be there when I was there. Imagine if I was sitting next to her? I would have constantly asked if I could build a tree-house for Cody and Cassidy. I don’t care how old they are. They need a tree-house.

Now that my Snatchy Lee chances are busted, here are some of my other top choices for people I hope I run into at The Ivy:

  1. Jodie Sweetin (duh)
  2. Bill and Cassie (the two old people who lived in the basement of “Webster’s” house – you’d take the ladder that was behind the clock to get there)
  3. The lady who co-hosted America’s Funniest People
  4. Sally Jesse Raphael

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Worst. Lunch. Ever.


No joke, this would be one way to keep me from eating lunch. Snatchy Lee Gifford and Fran Dresshits hosted a lunch at the Friars club in NYC yesterday. Seriously can you imagine the awkward schtick these two would be doing? I imagine a lot of loud cackles and strange eye twitches. Snatchy Lee will be talking about “Reg” and Corky and Snatchidy all while Fran will be doing that annoying laugh and talking about her parents living in Boca. Yeah we get it. We got it all through the 90′s and we get it now. They’re like the Charro of the 90′s. They have one piece of material that they’ve built a career on. I, of course, am jealous. Coochie coochie!

Source It Up!

Snatchy Lee Gifford on The Today Show?

Since The Today Show is apparently up to 16 consecutive hours, so NBC executives need to staff the absolute piss out of every hour with rambling hosts. One of the people that may in the running towards becoming Today’s next top host is Kathy Lee Gifford. Snatchy Lee is up for one of the co-hosts for the 4th hour of Today.

One of Today’s executives, Jim Bell, said about Snatchy, “I think she’s a great talent.” Oh Jim Bell, you know that we now have this quote from you that will last throughout history. There’s definitely a part of me that wants to see Snatchy on Today, as I miss her doing that eye-winking thing she would always do on Regis and Snatchy Lee each morning, but then there’s another part of me that feels like hour 4 of Today will end up basically being an update of Cody and Cassidy’s lives. I picture it like their Myspace page updates, but on television.

If Snatchy Lee doesn’t get it I would like to toss these names into the ring as possible co-hosts:

  • Bindi Irwin
  • Della Reese
  • The lady who played the grandmother with the red hair on The Cosby Show
  • Carmen Rasmusen
  • Rachel Platt (from the Harriet Carter catalog)
  • The little kid who played Billy for 1.5 seasons of “Who’s The Boss”
Hopefully we’ll be seeing one of them in hour 4 of The Today Show.

Kathy Lee Blows, Literally!

Do you ever wonder what happened to Kathy Lee Gifford? If you’re like me and have lost sleep at night wondering what happened to her, you’re in luck! Kathy Lee has been very VERY busy. She’s been blowing bubbles, helping other people blow bubbles, and…er…that’s about it. It looks like she’s finally catching up with good old Frank (age-wise). It is odd to see her actually helping people blow bubbles. I figured that she’d have some kids in a third world country behind the scenes blowing bubbles for her. Oh that’s right, I reverted back to 1992. What? I wasn’t old enough to blog back then when the actual Kathy Lee scandals were taking place. I don’t even think there were blogs back then.

Anyway, the whole Gifford family were celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Cassidy’s Place. What in the hell ever happened to Cody and Cassidy anyway? Perhaps they’re sewing labels into Kathy Lee’s clothes?