Yow and yowza! So who got the privilege of seeing Kanye West ruin music on Saturday Night Live over the weekend? I did! I did! This is basically how I would sound if I were to sing in public, which now assures me that I clearly have what it takes to break into the music industry and take Motown by storm!
Kayne, of course, is getting a lot of crap for how horrific he performed, but if we all stop and think about it, even listening to “Love Lockdown” on the radio doesn’t really sound that great either. It was a little pitchy, dog. But don’t get me wrong, while Kanye appears to be an ass, I’m actually a huge fan of his music and, particularly, Love Lockdown. I actually just downloaded “All Falls Down” on iTunes, so even butchering music can still make Kanye money.
I got a bunch of emails asking me if what I thought of the rest of the Grammy Awards, as I poked a little fun at Beyonce and Tina Turner/Tina Knowles. I was asked specifically about Kayne West’s performance. Now as you know, I am typically never serious on this blog except when it comes to my love for Lisa Lovelss from “The Hills.” But “yes” I did see Kanye’s performance/dedication to his mom. I will probably say that for me, this is the best performance I have ever seen. I am not a huge fan of Kanye, but I have to say this one was completely intense. There really aren’t words I can put around it. If you’ve seen it you’ll know what I’m talking about. Incredible.
First off, I thought Evil Knievel was dead, but I tried to contact him via my Ouija board and when he didn’t answer I assumed he was alive….he is. Not only he is alive, but he’s also realllly slow. Evil is suing Kanye West for his “Touch the Sky” video (which I think came out like a year ago) because Evil feels that Kanye ripped off his jumpsuit and death defying feats. Um, can you say “death defying feats” if you’re not Wile E. Coyote? Anyway, Evil is pissed and has filed suit against Kanye and Roc-A-Fella Records.
Evil feels that the music video damages his reputation and earning power due to vulgar and offensive sexual images, language, conduct. Where to begin? Where to begin? Hey Evil Knievel, up until about 15 minutes ago I thought you were already dead. I would think that most people think that as well. I think that being thought of as “dead” will probably damage your earning power more than a Kanye West video that hasn’t been played on MTV in about 9 months (not that MTV plays videos, but I won’t go there).
Oh, and here’s the best part. A statement from Evil himself:
“The guy just disgraced me. I have done the best I can to set an example for children, and then this guy comes along and tries to rip it apart.”
Uh, yeah. No, no. Kanye didn’t disgrace you. Oh, and setting an example for your children? Yeah, I wouldn’t want to set the example for my children of trying to jump like 400 buses over a pit of fire on my motorcycle.If you really want to make a comeback try something really crazy like trying to jump your “Lark” scooter over Rosie O’Donnell…..that’s the same thing as a motorcycle and 400 buses, no?
At this time there has been no comment from Kanye West or his lawyers, but I think if you are really really really really quiet you can actually hear them laughing all the way from here.
**Breaking News*** As a side note I did my little schtick on Evil and his “Lark” scooter and then I searched for a picture of him. What did I find? A picture of him on a Lark scooter! Seriously, I amaze myself.
I wish my blogging program would allow for a “sub-title” because this title was a real toss up for me. I wanted to call it “Kanye West is an Asshole,” but then I thought well I really need people to make the Karate Kid connection and everyone already knows that Kanye West is an asshole, so I decided for the Karate Kid.
Back to the topic at hand. Is he for real? Is Kanye mocking Paul McCartney because Paul is starting to look like a skeleton? And, more importantly, what the hell are these two doing together? They look like they’re having a real blast at the Stella McCartney fashion show in Paris during, my favorite, Fashion Week. They need to stop calling it “Fashion Week.” It goes on for months.
Kanye should zip that hood all the way up and call it a day.
