I’m Not Kidding, This is What My Personal Hell Would Be

Posted by IBBB

If this doesn’t make me behave like a better human so that I don’t end up burning in the fiery pits of hell, nothing will. This is, without exaggeration, my own personal nightmare and my own personal hell wrapped up into one big box that is then shat on by Satan himself.

Jordin Sparks (blurp) and David Archuleta (gnaaaaw) performed at the 3rd Annual Jordin Sparks Experience at the Eden Roc Resort in Miami, Florida the other day. 3rd annual? Sounds like 2 too many. Both sported their under eye war paint as a festive way to attract attention away from their weight and height and sang a duet that I don’t even need to know what it was in order for me to close my 30th floor window in an attempt to save my life.

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Apr
22

How Do I Sing With No Vocal Cords

Posted by IBBB

jordin sparks

Tell me how am I supposed to breathe with no air. Tell me how am I supposed to sing with no vocal cords. Enough of the questions, Jordin Sparks! See what can happen!? Jordin Sparks, American Idol winner for 2007, has been struck down with a career-threatening throat injury. Supposedly it’s so bad that she’s had to cancel three of her shows. Only 3? You’d figure “career-threatening” would cancel at least 5 shows.

A rep at her first concert stop has said, “Because of the risk of permanent vocal cord damage, Sparks has been ordered to strict vocal rest and will not be able to perform anywhere until her condition improves.”

In an ironic twist, Paula Abdul’s vocal cords are fine and she can continue to sing. Life is sometimes so unfair.

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