More Mindless Stories on ‘jojo’
So remember that Kira Plastinina story I ran earlier this morning about Audrina and her teeth attending? Yeah, well that little bitch JoJo was also there. If you don’t recall, JoJo was that 14 year old singer who sang such songs that included lyrics such as “Come with me, stay the night” and “Get out (leave), right now.” It was at that time I assumed (and wrote about) how JoJo was totally going to get knocked up. However, now I’m seeing her again and she’s suffering from what I like to call GUABF. GUABF can happen to any younger star that was sorta cute, but then they grow up a bit and their face totally loses it. Oh, and GUABF stands for “Grown Up Amanda Bynes Face.” Yeah. Amanda Bynes is all grown up now and just isn’t hot even though her body is. It’s not looking too promising for JoJo, but we’ll give her a few more years for her face to grow into her body…literally. Although, JoJo is rocking the Angela Bower 80′ power business woman suit, sans shoulder pads.
Remember the little singer JoJo who sang, “Too Little Too Late” and “Leave (Get Out)?” Of course you do because these songs were played on repeat in the summer of 2006. You may also remember her from the open letter I wrote to her in 2006 letting her know that she was on her to becoming pregnant. I thought it was a touching letter, which you can read here.
Anyway, J. Jo is taking to her myspace blog and setting the record straight about the rumors that 2 people have heard about in regards to her passing up the opportunity to have played the role of Hannah Montana due to her crazy “busy” schedule. Well, that’s not the case at all according to J. Jo. Here’s what Skanky McSaggy Pants had to say:
“I was not interested in doing a television show like that because I did not want to be that kind of artist. I am more concerned with being a legitimate artist; not one created for the captive tween audience, from a television show. They were going to use the same formula that they did with Hillary Duff and her show, and I did not want to be a manufactured artist. I wanted to do it on my own; the old fashioned way; with talent, determination, and hard work, and without a television show, which is fed to the tween masses. This is the same reason I have turned down every reality show that has been offered to me, since I signed my record deal. For me, it is about integrity.”
Uh yeah. I would have sold out in a second, clearly. I must admit, I’m liking how J. Jo is calling out Miley Cyrus and Hilary Duff. I think I could really help JoJo bring it to the next level though. She could have easily tossed in a joke about Miley’s busted teeth and Hilary’s sisters banged up nose. I’ll cut JoJo a little slack though since she is still about 16 years old. It takes a little time for the heart to turn completely black, like mine, and you go straight to evil. Good day.
Singer JoJo or as I like to call her, J Jo, is really keeping busy making snow cones. No really, she is. J Jo was at the Nice and Icy Party at Knotts Berry Farm
just the other day and was randomly making snow cones and awkwardly looking kinda like Snoopy. Look again. She could be a Snoopy impersonator, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, I’m a dead ringer for Captain Caveman.
Anyway, not too long ago JoJo said that she didn’t think she would end up having a nervous breakdown like other child stars such as Britney Spears because, “…very close to my family and they keep me grounded and I don’t think they would ever let me do that.” Yeah, well if by “never let you do that” you really mean “force me to make snow cones and take pictures with Snoopy” then yes you’ll be fine. I mean you’re career could tank, but you totally will sidestep Promises Rehab…..unless you get addicted to snow cones, which could happen. Just ask Linus.
I had reported last month with my award winning journalism that singer JoJo was spotted at Hyde (a club/bar) in LA. Being that little JoJo is only 15 years old it was odd that she would be at a bar in which you must be 21 to enter. I know, the horror. Anyway, Multiple Persons Magazine followed up with JoJo about a month later at the American Music Awards and has asked her what that was all about.
Basically, JoJo said that she was an f’n retard, but let me show you what she specifically stated:
“I didn’t know it was 21 and over….it’s a freakin’ restaurant and I was there with my mom and two other underage friends. I had milk and cookies…..[but] it was great!”
Oh JoJo, way to throw your mother and two underage friends under the bus. I’m calling DSS and having them take you out of your house since your mom forces you to go to bars. And, “whatever” that you didn’t know it was 21 and over. I sometimes make that mistake as I walk into a “bar” and am there all night and then am like, “wait a minute this isn’t a bar at all…it’s a nursing home!” It happens to me all the time. I mean, even though there are old women in wheelchairs, under blankets, being fed applesauce does not mean that I’m just “suppose” to know that it isn’t a bar. Besides, I get way lucky at a nursing home. I do well with old women. Hmm, I miss them.
Anyway, watch your step there J. Jo because it won’t be long before you end up just like Lindsay Lohan….an unwed mother! Oh wait, that isn’t true? Oh well, you get the point. P.S Next time you say “freakin’” in an interview I’m going to wash your mouth our with sour milk. Good day.
Why won’t people ever listen to me? I tried to warn singer JoJo that she was heading down a slippery slope. I predicted she would eventually be the new/next Lindsay No Pants. Looks like I am slowly on the right track. JoJo was spotted leaving hotspot “Hyde” in Hollywood. Did I mention that you need to be 21 to get into Hyde? Did I mention that JoJo is 15? Do you want to know what I was doing when I was 15? I was getting my braces tightened.
Be careful Jo Jo! You’ll be knocked up before you know it!