More Mindless Stories on ‘jodie sweetin’
17
So Who Exactly Shows Up to a Jodie Sweetin Book Signing, You Ask? I know! I Know!
It’s times like this that I’m glad the world hasn’t ended yet. I’ve always wondered who showed up to a Jodie Sweetin book signing. Now had I been in LA I would have, for sure, showed up and just started yelling out Full House references like I was a pervert with turrets. However, I know I can’t be the only crazy who would be there and, well, I wasn’t wrong. Check out the dude in the green t-shirt sitting Right. Up. Front. In case you can’t read his t-shirt it says, and I quote, “Life is To Short to Hunt With an Ugly Gun.” And you totally know he was sitting there with his hands down his pants and foaming from the mouth. Now I can’t prove this for sure, but I’m almost certain the man in the left of the picture with the white (gag) ponytail (puke) that looks like it itches and smells like the ring-around-the-tub that Lindsay Lohan leaves is probably Papouli in disguise. I know that son-of-a-bi*ch wasn’t dead. I knew it!
Anyway, I hope to one day interview Jodie Sweetin for this here blog so, well, someone make that happen or never come around these parts again, ya hear! In the meantime, check out some other photos of Sweetits from her book signing of UnSweetined at Barnes and Noble in LA the other day.
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03
Getting To Know You: Jodie Sweetin Edition
Time for another installment of Getting to Know YOU! Here we take a look at what words people are typing into Google and somehow landing on ImBringingBloggingBack. With the upcoming release of her new book, “unSweetined,” people arriving to IBBB with Jodie Sweetin or Stephanie Tanner references is at an all time high. Brilliant. As always, I list out my favorites of the past week and add my own thoughts after. Enjoy it, but not too much.
- jodie sweetin cameltoe (how rude! but if someone has the pics, please send)
- was jodie sweetin on juvies? (i wish. maybe if there’s a relapse. we’ll hold out hope)
- when does jodie sweetin’s book come out (none of your business)
- is mr bear in jodie sweetin’s book (oh god if he is I hope it’s like a lifesize pop-up book!)
- jodie sweetin snorting meth on the today show with the olsen twins (i mean, who in their right mind thinks this actually happened?!)
- buy jodie sweetin’s meth pipe (i smell a bewing business deal!)
- jodie sweetin and kimmy gibbler doing drugs (leave kimmy out of this!)
- how rude sweetin is a meth face (punctuation? any punctuation? no? fine.)
- stephanie tanner walks in on uncle jesse and ant becky doing their taxes (rookie question. it was michelle tanner of course.)
- what is jodie sweetin up to now besides drugs (she’s clean and sober, so watch your mouth or i’ll wash it out with cheap meth!)
- does anyone know if jodie sweetin bought fake boobs? (guilty)
26
Jodie Sweetin’s Book, “unSweetined,” Will Be My New Bible
Praise Jesus Claus, Santa Christ, and the Holy Mr. Bear! Jodie Sweetin has a new book coming out titled, “unSweetined,” which is a memoir of her life. Now personally I would have called it either of the following: “How Rude: How Mr. Bear Got Me Hooked on Wine and Meth” or something catchier like, “I Never Got Over the Death of Papouli: The Jodie Sweetin Diaries.”
Moving on. According to our friends (who don’t know us) at People Magazine, we can learn a lot about the demons that Jodie fought after Full House wrapped after 8 mind-numbing seasons. For example:
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Jodie got so drunk at Candace Cameron’s wedding that she puked and was carried out: Oh shiz! Wait until Danny finds out about this! Stephanie and DJ are going to have to come up with a song better than “Dad, Dad, Dad…He’s So Rad, He’s Our Dad” to get out of this. Also, Jodie doesn’t confirm if by Candace’s wedding she meant the wedding to that hockey player or Uncle Jesse’s Greek nephew. Eh, scratch that. I’m pretty sure they got divorced by walking backwards around the kitchen table.
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Jodie did ecstacy in high school and cocaine in college: More shocking that Jodie went to college?
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At the Olsen Twins premiere of their movie, “In a New York Minute,” Jodie was “high as a kite” on the red carpet and snorted meth in a bathroom stall. Jodie brags, “I look at photos from that event and I didn’t even look strung out!” : Impressive. I wonder if Jodie was a little more strung out than she thought because I think she confused the “red carpet” from “In a New York Minute” with her “living room couch” whilst watching the direct-to-video of the Olsen Twins singing “I’m the Cute One.”
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Jodie was adopted when she was 9-months old and her real mom abused drugs and her dad was killed in a prison riot: Um, her dad was Danny Tanner and her mom died shortly after Michelle was born. Drugs much?
I’m hoping Jodie’s book also is available in the audio version because I’d like to listen to it on repeat whilst I sleep. Also, if Jodie is asking for my advice, and I think she is, she’s going to need a huge bomb to really sell the piss out of this book, similar to the way Mackenzie Phillips did. Oh, I don’t know…off the top of my head…uh….em…er….uh….ok, perhaps she had a consentual sexual relationship with both Papouli and Mr Woodchuck? Did somebody say…..wooood? Or maybe she used the one Olsen who wasn’t filming scenes that day, as a drug-mule? Maybe she gave sexual pleasure to Comet? Maybe she had a three-way with Kimmy Gibbler and DJ’s Spanish teacher that kissed Danny? Sky is the limit, Sweetin, sky is the limit!
I would like to interview Jodie for this blog. Just putting it out there.
“unSweetined” comes out on November 3rd. Buy it, read it, buy it again. Buy it for all of your Christmas gifts. Buy it, read it, record you reading it, put it on iTunes, have Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta remix it, and then buy that song version of the book.
18
Who Will Get Custody of Mr. Bear?
Oh Sweetin. Oh my little Sweetin. My little Sweetin, poor Sweetin, I’d love to brush that meth out of your hair.
Jodie Sweetin is totally trying to ruin my dream of her getting her own reality show and/or taking part in a future Full House reunion. Poor Stephanie Tanner is not allowed to see her 8-month old daughter without the supervision of one of her parents (Danny Tanner?). This is all thanks to her husband, Cody Herpes, who told a judge that Steponme Tanner is an unfit mother and even drove drunk one time with her daughter in the car. Is that a big deal? Haven’t we all been in the car with our drunk parents before? How else were we supposed to get to school?
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25
The Jodie Sweetin Divorce = IBBB’s Opportunity
Jodie StepOnMe Tanner Sweetin has filed papers late last week in Orange Country, CA for legal separation from her husband of 16-months.
If Stephanie Judith Tanner Chung ends up getting an actual divorce hopefully she’ll follow in the same footsteps of her chunky sister, DJ, and get divorced by walking backwards around the kitchen table. If it works for Greek weddings it should work for Jodie.
What a terrible time. Someone dig up Papouli and see if he can fix this crap. How rude!
17
The Jodie Sweetin Book. IBBB’s Dream Come to Life.
Looks like StepOnMe Tanner is no longer the awkward duckling, as today she as transformed into an awkward swan. Magic. Jodie Sweetin, apparently sporting red car paint on her lips, was looking slim and trim on the red carpet of the 15th Annual Lint Roller Party (Best Friends Animal Society) in Hollywood, California. Surprising not her arm was Mr. Bear. I’ve put out an ABP on Mr. Bear and hope he returns safe and sound.
How did Jodie lose all the baby weight you ask? NutriSystem and daily TV workouts. My guess? Back to meth. Ok, low blow. Oh, maybe blow?
29
Someone Take a Brush to Sweetin
Jodie Sweetin, her rack, and her baby were all strange facial expressions and awkward poses whilst on the brown carpet at the “Celebration of Babies Benefiting the March of Dimes” at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills over the weekend.
www.myspace.com/ImBringingBloggingBack
23
Jodie Sweetin’s Reality Show: Jesus Claus Has Answered My Prayers!
05
So Who Shows Up to a “Bob Saget Roast?”
While random celebrities like Judy Tenuta, Alan Thicke, Cloris Leachman, Jodie Sweetin and many of the other Full House cast members made it to the roast, the Olsen Sluts were missing (as I reported yesterday). Well, the Olsen Skanks should count themselves lucky for missing the event because E Online is reporting that the Olsen’s were the butt of many of the jokes, including jokes about Bob Saget having sexual encounters with them while they were underage. Yeah, because that’s always funny. You totally know that Danny Tanner would make Michelle stick her thumb up his bum while she said, “You Got it Dude!” and gave the “thumbs up” sign. Pervert.
04
I’m Totally Watching This and Recapping the Ever-Loving Crap Out of It!
Jodie was at the Maxim Extreme Sports party in LA the other day and told reporters that “We’re going to start shooting in a couple of months. We are in talks with a couple of networks right now. We have one picked out, but nothing is signed yet.”
Oh God. I can only imagine what network this is going to be. Why do I feel like it’s going to be like God-forsaken “Oxygen” network or like The Hallmark channel. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m already in progress of programming my TIVO. I know my TIVO is going to try to fight me on this too. I’ll program it and my TIVO will totally try to delete it.
Oh, and here’s the best part. When asked why they were going to do the show, Jodie said, “I think it’s sort of a fun way to show the other side of celebrity and a semi-normal life.”
Oh really? That’s cool. So, uh….er….um….er….what celebrities will they be showing on Jodie’s reality show? I. Can’t. Wait. For. This.
04
DJ Tanner and Stephanie Tanner: Reunited and It Feels So Good!
Not only did I get a ton of emails from you, the readers, about Candace Cameron and Jodie Sweetin together having lunch at The Ivy on Robertson Boulevard in LA, but the majority of you also let me know in the emails that Santa has answered my prayers. And you know what? It’s totally true. I say my prayers to Santa using my Santa Rosary Beads, which consist of all the reindeers and Mrs Claus, and look what happens! DJ and Stephanie are together again. Ole!
24
Jodie Sweetin Out and About (Minus Mr. Bear)
New first time mom, Jodie Sweetin and her husband, enjoyed a night out on the town while they had dinner at Hollywood hot spot, Koi. Damn! Looks like Jodie lost all of that baby weight. It also looks like Jodie lost a little something else and I can’t put my finger on it. Does her nose look different? Does she have less chin? Has her old meth addiction somehow rearranged her face? Hmm, I can’t seem to figure it out.
14
Jodie Sweetin Has Baby. How Rude!
Stephanie Judith Tanner has just given birth to a baby girl, named Zoie via a c-section. The baby weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz, which is about twice the size of the Olsen twins tied together. Anyway, Jodie was too busy to talk to People Magazine, as she had a human cut out of her, but her rep told People, “Jodie says the she and her husband and family are absolutely thrilled and in love with baby Zoie.” Wait, Jodie Sweetin has a rep? For what?
26
Jodie Sweetin Pregnant. Uncle Jessie, Where Were You?
Update: Even though I linked multiple times to the source of a sweet Jodie Sweetin story, they contacted me and requested I remove the pictures and shorten the story. Lame. I’ve decided to remove all of it, including their links, but I added a photo of Stephanie Tanner in her bee costume, just because. Geesh. Papouli would be extremely disappointed in them. Feel free to discuss your favorite Full House moments here. Boooo to them.12
…In Other News…
~ Madonna Buys Some Party Favors ~ AgentBedHead
~ Fergie Hearts Britney and Lindsay ~ CelebritySmack
~ Sara Evans Freaks It Up ~ FatBack
~ Britney Shows a Little…Again, Again. ~ NinjaDude
~ Jennifer Hudson Gets More Movie Work ~ POTP
~ Jessica Simpson Tries Different Ways to Sell Albums ~ Yeeeah
