More Mindless Stories on ‘janet jackson’
Sep
24
24
Why is Janet Jackson Dressed Like a Cartoon Spy?
Posted by IBBB
janet jackson 
Janet Jackson was with her fauxband, Jermaine Dupri, for his 36th birthday fiesta at TenJune the other day in NYC. There have been many rumors lately that Janet was fat again, but obviously these pictures put those rumors to rest. She’s doesn’t look fat at all, she just looks stupid. There’s a difference. Ok fine, she looks good and looks the same as she did when she was singing Escapade in that Mexican village. I just don’t understand the leather gloves. I mean, I’m sure those are the same gloves that daddy Joe Jackson would use on the kids when he felt bad for making them walk outside in the cold to get a switch from the tree, but why would Janet want to wear them and bring back all those memories? Because she liked it, that’s why. Good day.
Feb
22
22
Hi Janet Jackson! Please Stop That.
Posted by IBBB
janet jackson 
Hi Janet Jackson. How are things? For a 72 year old woman you still looking amazingly hot, but I have a bone to pick with you. I had my boombox cranked up to 7 yesterday when your new song “Feedback” came on. I had heard it a few times before so I figured I would give it a chance. Here’s what I heard and here’s what I think.
You sing: Strum me like a guitar, blow out my amplifier. When you hear some feedback keep going take it higher. Crank it up, give it to me come on. Crank it up, give it to me come on.
I think: Janet must be singing about making sweet sex to someone. Perhaps a guitar. Perhaps a car jack. It’s hard to tell. Regardless, she’s singing about porking her way to freedom.
You Sing: Flyer than a pelican, find another chick better then I don’t see her. Cause my swag is serious. Something heavy like a first day period.
I think: For the love of all that is good and holy in this world, please stop. Look Janet, clearly Ms Jackson at a time like this, but you’re still hot. You could be clubbing baby seals and artificially inseminating a cow with your hand, but if you were topless while doing this you’d still be hot. Wanna know what makes you not hot at all? Saying things like, “something heavy like a first day period.” Now I’ve tossed some smut around on this site from time to time, but the thought of your heavy first day period is just about, well, all I can really take.
What’s with these people lately? First Jane Fonda drops the c-word on the Today Show and now Janet is singing about “that time of the month.” What ever happened to the simpler says of the Olsen Skanks singing, “I’m the Cute One?”
Anyway, in closing, please stop this at once. Thanks, in advance, for your cooperation.
Jan
03
03
You May Have Been Born Because Your Parents Wanted to Do Sex to Janet Jackson’s Music. Sorry Tito.
Posted by IBBB
janet jackson 
Ever feel that the subway may be a little crowded? Well you may be able to blame one Janet (not sure of her last name) Jackson for too many people in this wacky population. Janet Jackson is out promoting the crap out of her new CD and single “Feedback” and told a cute little story to Extra about what many fans come up and say to her. In her best Michael Jackson voice, Janet said, “You don’t know how many people come up to me and say, ‘This child was conceived listening to you.”
If I were Janet I would have responded by saying this, “Gross.” Then I would have called DSS and got those kids out of their whore-bag parents house. I mean, forcing your kids to listen to Janet Jackson music while conceiving them is just wrong and…er…impossible. Fine, so maybe I won’t call DSS, but still.
Anyway, what was more shocking to me besides this quote is the fact that Janet Jackson is 41 years old, which means she’s probably really like 45 or even 50. I don’t want to listen to or see anyone who is 41 doing anything…well maybe except filling out their will or something. If Janet is 41 then that means that I’m getting old too and that’s not fair. Thanks Janet. Thanks for nothing…especially “Pleasure Principle.” I don’t even know what that song is about or what it means. Thanks.
Finally as a sidenote, why is everyone getting the Dora the Explorer haircut? I somehow blame Tyra Banks for this mess.
Aug
07
07
So is Janet Jackson Fat or Not?
Posted by IBBB
janet jackson 
So, uh, is Janet Jackson fat or not? About 2 weeks ago I saw some recent pictures of Janet looking like she was back in her “Nasty” video days, but now looking at her from these pictures of her in Miami the other day makes me wonder is she fat or not!?! Janet, stop jerking us around like this. It’s tough to write about you with all these weight fluctuations. It’s either (1) you’re fat and I make fun of you for that or (2) you’re skinny and I write about how hot you are even at 40 (ok so it’s a backhanded compliment). Regardless, this yo-yo dieting can’t be good for you and it certainly isn’t good for me being witty (minus the wit).
Feb
14
14
Janet Jackson Clearly Hasn’t Been to the Supermarket Since 1973
Posted by IBBB
janet jackson 
Sometimes it’s a complete stereotype that the rich and famous are out of touch with reality. Sometimes it’s dead-on accurate though. Janet Jackson seems to have lost touch with reality right around 1973 apparently. Miss Jackson (because I’m nasty) was hanging out with Missy Elliot a little while back when the two decided to run to the supermarket, late night, to grab some food. Janet said:
“It’s so funny because I haven’t set foot in a grocery store in years, you know. And that’s so embarrassing. A few years back Missy and I were hanging out. “It was so late at night, and we went to the grocery store – this is when I still lived in Malibu – and I hadn’t been in a grocery store in so long. I kept going, ‘What’s this?’ “First of all I had the cart and I was riding down the aisles standing on it. And there’s nobody there but us. And we got in the checkout. And I’m seeing this square thing, and I’m like, ‘What’s this you guys?’ “And Missy just looked at me. And they said, ‘That’s so you can use your credit card.’ And I said, ‘You can use your credit cards in grocery stores now?’ “And Missy cracked up laughing. She thought it was the funniest thing. I didn’t know!”
Seriously? Yeah, that actually isn’t as funny as it is scary. It’s times like this when I stop feeling bad for celebrities who have money “secretly taken from them” by the people who work for them. I mean, who doesn’t know what a credit card machine looks like? I should let Janet know that there are also men who drive dirty yellow cars around and they’re called, “cabs” or even “taxis.” Also, there are places that force you to throw money into a bucket in order to keep on driving. These places are called “toll booths.” Jeesh.
