More Mindless Stories on ‘jamie lynn spears’
My favorite pictures consist of the one where JLS is standing in front of the Aussie hairspray because I always assume that she stinks of the stuff and my other favorite is the one where it looks like JLS is about to toss the folded up baby carriage onto the side of the road. Not so fast Jaime, or as they say in Spanish, “Jamie.” We’re watching you!
Jamie Lynn has been keeping a low profile lately after giving birth, but just the other day the Mississippi paparazzi (which I assume is just homeless people with disposable Walgreens cameras) caught Jamie Lynn looking not so pleased. Perhaps it’s because she’s just purchased brown rubber place mats (check her shopping cart)? Perhaps it’s because she really missed Estelle Getty (check her t-shirt)? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because she’s holding her kid like a sack of rotten potatoes that’s just about to fall. Luckily her pal is there to catch the baby if it hits the ground. That was wrong of me. I mean her pal is there to catch the baby when it hits the ground.
By now we all know that Jamie Lynn Spears named her new daughter Maddie Briann Aldridge. Maddie Briann Aldridge? M.B.A? MBA? Really? So, er…uh…so you think that kid is going to get her MBA? GED sure, but MBA? Doubtful. It’s nice to be that optimistic though. My guess is that MBA is going to get to about 4th grade before they pull her out of school and force her into some sort of Disney TV show. She’ll be pregnant by 14 (just to trump her mom) and rehabbed by 14 and 10 months. Best wishes.
Well I guess it’s safe to say that Jamie Lynn Spears was old enough to have her period. JLS played the “birthing game” to a bay girl this morning around 9:30 AM Mississippi time, which technically makes it around 9:30 1984, with her family by her side. I always assumed she would give birth in a cardboard box lined with old newspapers under the stairs….you know, kinda like the same way she got pregnant. Anytrash, a drunken source close the family has told People Magazine
that “everyone is happy and healthy.” Really? Everyone? I’m not. I’m tired and pissed. Thanks for asking.
No word yet on what the name will be, but I’ll assume it will be some iteration of Lynn, Jamie, and/or Britney. Perhaps Jatney? My money is on that. Good day.
Pin down your hair stringy hair extensions because Britney spent part of her Mother’s Day with her own mom as they went out to eat at SUR in Hollywood yesterday. It’s great to see that Lynne Spears liked her dinner so much that she even brought home a doggie bag. Classy!
Meanwhile, Jamie Lynn Spears pumped gas whilst dressed like a Vegas hooker wearing part of the carpet at the Flamingo. I’m pretty sure it’s that outfit that got her into this mess in the first place.
Back to Britney. Reuters is reporting that Britney may appear in How I Met Your Mother next season as well. The shows co-creator, Craig Thomas, said that the episode was written in a way that would allow Britney to make a return next season. I think that’s great. I say more Britney. Let’s get her back to the point where she gets all overwhelmed and nuts again because, let me tell ya, writing about Britney and mom going to dinner….not so fun. Writing about Britney beating up a truck with a green umbrella…..fun. That’s how it works people.